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This test consists of 5 multiple choice questions, 5 short answer questions, and 10 short essay questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny that the police always have to give someone the Miranda?
(a) Other people have to be helped
(b) The criminal could get away
(c) People know it from TV
(d) People never listen to it

2. What does Seinfeld think it must be awful to be called all the time?
(a) A writer
(b) A lion tamer
(c) A freak
(d) A clown

3. What does Seinfeld say he was afraid to touch in his parents' house?
(a) The thermometer
(b) The silver cutlery
(c) The bronze statues
(d) The Grandfather clock

4. What does Seinfeld think workers should come up with so they don't have to think of different replies?
(a) A code
(b) A handshake
(c) A dance
(d) A look

5. What kind of cars does Seinfeld say he liked as a kid?
(a) Drag racers
(b) Vintage cars
(c) Indy cars
(d) Bumper cars

Short Answer Questions

1. What did Seinfeld's parakeet use to fly into?

2. What member of the orchestra does Seinfeld wonder about?

3. What does Seinfeld think it is fun to do when you are a policeman?

4. What does Seinfeld say is all his father does in Florida?

5. Why does Seinfeld think his parents live in Florida?

Short Essay Questions

1. What does Seinfeld think about going to the movie theater?

2. What does Seinfeld think about malls?

3. What does Seinfeld think life boils down to?

4. What does Seinfeld think about professional wrestling?

5. How has Seinfeld decided to use his money?

6. What was Seinfeld's favorite toy as a kid?

7. Why does Seinfeld think helmets are a stupid invention?

8. Why did Seinfeld not call the police when his apartment was robbed?

9. What does Seinfeld think about suicide?

10. What does Seinfeld say about entertainers?

(see the answer keys)

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