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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why does Seinfeld find ambulance windshield stickers amusing?
(a) They shine in the dark
(b) They are written backwards
(c) They are misspelled
(d) They confuse drivers

2. What does Seinfeld say seems to have very active social lives?
(a) Comedians
(b) Writers
(c) Ventriloquist dummies
(d) Super heroes

3. What does Seinfeld think a flight attendant should never do?
(a) Run with the food cart
(b) Make a joke
(c) Wake up a passenger
(d) Snarl

4. What does Seinfeld think that people will one day show others how to save themselves from in a commercial?
(a) Choking
(b) Strokes
(c) Heart attacks
(d) Cancer

5. What does Seinfeld think it is unnatural for people to do?
(a) Fly
(b) Drive
(c) Cycle
(d) Swim

6. What does Seinfeld's hair always say in the morning when he wakes up in a strange bed?
(a) Tired
(b) Relieved
(c) Panicked
(d) Relaxed

7. What does Seinfeld say is like a mirage in the desert?
(a) Drinking fountains
(b) Limos
(c) Handicap parking spaces
(d) Learner drivers

8. What does Seinfeld want to have on him when he sees people he knows walking down the street?
(a) An answering machine
(b) A gun
(c) A pepper spray
(d) A cell phone

9. What did Seinfeld's friend just have?
(a) A baptism
(b) A birthday
(c) A christening
(d) A baby

10. What does Seinfeld not find appealing?
(a) Smoking
(b) Pornography
(c) Drinking
(d) Drugs

11. Why is Seinfeld disappointed when someone answers the phone?
(a) He is usually talking to another friend
(b) He like ringtones
(c) He like answering machines
(d) He never knows what to say

12. What kind of stores does Seinfeld think are overpriced?
(a) Diamond stores
(b) Theme park stores
(c) Airport stores
(d) Hotel stores

13. What kind of voice does Seinfeld like a woman to have?
(a) A high voice
(b) A deep voice
(c) A breathy voice
(d) A giggly voice

14. What is male friendship conditional on?
(a) Meeting a woman
(b) Watching sport
(c) The ego
(d) Drinking beer

15. Why does Seinfeld think naked people are uncomfortable?
(a) They have no clothes to fiddle with
(b) They are cold
(c) They never know where to look
(d) They think they are ugly

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Seinfeld think is a reflection of how you feel when you wake up in a strange house after a date?

2. What is Seinfeld still too self-conscious to buy?

3. What does Seinfeld hate saying?

4. What does Seinfeld think the baby basically is?

5. Why does Seinfeld believe people invented the answering machine?

(see the answer keys)

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