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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why does Seinfeld think that all men are homophobes?
(a) They are suggestible
(b) They are scared
(c) They don't like themselves
(d) They don't understand them

2. What does Seinfeld want to have on him when he sees people he knows walking down the street?
(a) A cell phone
(b) An answering machine
(c) A gun
(d) A pepper spray

3. What does Seinfeld think it is unnatural for people to do?
(a) Drive
(b) Swim
(c) Cycle
(d) Fly

4. Why does Seinfeld think the ambulance stickers are dangerous?
(a) A driver could get in an accident reading it
(b) A driver gets nervous when he reads it
(c) A driver immediately stops when he reads it
(d) A driver never looks into his mirror to read it

5. What does Seinfeld say is like a mirage in the desert?
(a) Limos
(b) Learner drivers
(c) Drinking fountains
(d) Handicap parking spaces

6. What is the second section of this chapter called?
(a) Getting the message
(b) Paldom
(c) Loving my lover
(d) Feeling myself

7. What is Seinfeld surprised a woman can be afraid of when she has the courage to wax her legs?
(a) Spiders
(b) Mice
(c) Rats
(d) Grasshopper

8. Why does Seinfeld think naked people are uncomfortable?
(a) They are cold
(b) They have no clothes to fiddle with
(c) They never know where to look
(d) They think they are ugly

9. Why do Seinfeld's friends presume he is gay?
(a) He drinks wine
(b) He has many girlfriends
(c) He is neat
(d) He does not like sport

10. What is the third section of this chapter called?
(a) Don't ask me for anything
(b) Loving the hard way
(c) The gift of friendship
(d) Favors

11. What does Seinfeld say it says when someone buys you a paperweight?
(a) I don't like you
(b) I felt I had to buy you something
(c) I put no effort into this gift
(d) You were an after thought

12. What does Seinfeld think men are afraid of?
(a) Feelings
(b) Sex
(c) Themselves
(d) Commitment

13. Which of the following cars does Seinfeld talk about in this chapter?
(a) Station wagon
(b) Mercedes
(c) Land Rovers
(d) Compact car

14. Who does Seinfeld ask to get their priorities straight on the plane?
(a) The pilot
(b) The flight attendants
(c) The drunk passengers
(d) The noisy children

15. What does Seinfeld say men are bad at buying?
(a) Food
(b) Women
(c) Clothes
(d) Drink

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Seinfeld say he is not scared of?

2. Why does Seinfeld believe people invented the answering machine?

3. What does Seinfeld think a flight attendant should never do?

4. What kind of room does Seinfeld think people should meet in before a date?

5. What did Seinfeld's friend just have?

(see the answer keys)

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