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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What kind of date does Seinfeld think should only last for a few seconds?
(a) A foreign date
(b) A dinner date
(c) An office date
(d) A blind date

2. What does Seinfeld think is a reflection of how you feel when you wake up in a strange house after a date?
(a) Your hair
(b) Your clothes
(c) Your teeth
(d) Your smell

3. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny to get into shape?
(a) It looks ugly
(b) There are better things to do
(c) They is no real reason for it
(d) It is boring

4. What makes Seinfeld more nervous than flying?
(a) Meeting someone he knows on the plane
(b) Greeting people at the other end
(c) Waiting to take off
(d) Driving to the airport

5. What does Seinfeld think men are afraid of?
(a) Sex
(b) Feelings
(c) Themselves
(d) Commitment

6. Who does Seinfeld feel sorry for in the subway?
(a) The ticket seller
(b) The token taker
(c) The cleaner
(d) The train driver

7. What does Seinfeld like to pretend he is when he is talking to a friend he does not like?
(a) A counselor
(b) A comedian
(c) A social worker
(d) A talkshow host

8. What do driving schools remove from your driving license?
(a) Names
(b) Tickets
(c) Photgraphs
(d) Dates of birth

9. What item of clothing does Seinfeld think a naked person should wear?
(a) A tie
(b) A t-shirt
(c) A belt
(d) A bag

10. What word does Seinfeld find funny?
(a) Pretty ugly
(b) Tumbleweed
(c) Nightcap
(d) Fumble

11. What does Seinfeld think that people will one day show others how to save themselves from in a commercial?
(a) Choking
(b) Heart attacks
(c) Strokes
(d) Cancer

12. What is Seinfeld still too self-conscious to buy?
(a) Hashish
(b) Condoms
(c) Beer
(d) Dildos

13. What does Seinfeld say it says when someone buys you a paperweight?
(a) I felt I had to buy you something
(b) You were an after thought
(c) I don't like you
(d) I put no effort into this gift

14. What does Seinfeld say there is a large industry of?
(a) Tasteless food
(b) Bad gifts
(c) Children's books
(d) Poor beer

15. What is male friendship conditional on?
(a) Meeting a woman
(b) Drinking beer
(c) The ego
(d) Watching sport

Short Answer Questions

1. What kind of voice does Seinfeld like a woman to have?

2. What does Seinfeld believe women are like when it comes to sex?

3. What does Seinfeld say allows you a second chance?

4. What kind of tests does Seinfeld say he is competitive in?

5. What is Seinfeld surprised a woman can be afraid of when she has the courage to wax her legs?

(see the answer keys)

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