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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Seinfeld say old people have to continuously look for?
(a) Their Teeth
(b) Their mind
(c) Dogs
(d) Boxes

2. What do policemen have to give people before they arrest them?
(a) The Miranda
(b) The Oracle
(c) The Bloomer
(d) The Yama

3. Who does Seinfeld say cannot tell time?
(a) Pharmacists
(b) Doctors
(c) Secretaries
(d) Psychiatrists

4. Why can't comedians do "to be continued" shows?
(a) They would have to hire the same place out again
(b) The joke would not make sense
(c) People would be angry
(d) People would not come back

5. What does Seinfeld think life boils down to?
(a) Laughter
(b) Love
(c) Movement
(d) Drinking

6. What should Seinfeld think the IRS should do?
(a) Change their name
(b) Liven up the process of being audited
(c) Move to another universe
(d) Lower the tax rate

7. What does Seinfeld say he was afraid to touch in his parents' house?
(a) The thermometer
(b) The Grandfather clock
(c) The silver cutlery
(d) The bronze statues

8. What city does Seinfeld say is entertaining?
(a) Los Angeles
(b) San Francisco
(c) Las Vegas
(d) New York

9. What type of place does Seinfeld find too strict?
(a) Ski resorts
(b) Health clubs
(c) Courthouses
(d) Hotels

10. What does Seinfeld think has gotten more complicated at the doctors?
(a) Operations
(b) Forms
(c) Medication
(d) Waiting rooms

11. Who does Seinfeld say stands very high?
(a) A psychiatrist
(b) A pharmacist
(c) A policeman
(d) A judge

12. Which of the following things did Seinfeld's parents fight over in the car?
(a) The color of the car
(b) If the seats were leather
(c) If they needed a new car
(d) How much gas

13. Who does Seinfeld think the movie theater refuses to hire?
(a) Middle-aged people
(b) Clever people
(c) Fun people
(d) Good looking people

14. What kind of security guards does Seinfeld talk about?
(a) Museum security guards
(b) Bank security guards
(c) Celebrity security guards
(d) Supermarket security guards

15. What seafood does Seinfeld think it is cruel to eat?
(a) Oysters
(b) Carp
(c) Crab
(d) Lobster

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Seinfeld hate the clerk doing when he goes shopping?

2. Who does Seinfeld think are the only people who know all the rules to the country?

3. What does Seinfeld think that people who try, but fail, to commit suicide should do?

4. What part of the zoo does Seinfeld talk about?

5. What does Seinfeld say confuses him about films?

(see the answer keys)

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