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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why did Seinfeld not call the police when someone robbed his house?
(a) He had just stolen some food
(b) He was too busy
(c) There is nothing they could do
(d) The robbers did him favor

2. What does Seinfeld say that talk show hosts never seem to know?
(a) How much time they have left
(b) Who their guests are
(c) Who their friends are
(d) How much money they earn

3. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny that the police always have to give someone the Miranda?
(a) Other people have to be helped
(b) The criminal could get away
(c) People never listen to it
(d) People know it from TV

4. What does Seinfeld think all the snakes are?
(a) Beautiful
(b) Dead
(c) Ugly
(d) Evil

5. What should Seinfeld think the IRS should do?
(a) Liven up the process of being audited
(b) Move to another universe
(c) Lower the tax rate
(d) Change their name

6. What does Seinfeld think a museum security cannot stop someone from doing?
(a) Not paying
(b) Staying the night
(c) Stealing
(d) Talking loudly

7. What is the title of the second section?
(a) Super Sein
(b) Media Mezzo
(c) Criminal Life
(d) My Money's Not Working

8. Who does Seinfeld think should be licensed?
(a) Dog owners
(b) Cigarette smokers
(c) Tarot readers
(d) Psychics

9. What does Seinfeld say he thinks about a lot?
(a) Stranger women
(b) Jail
(c) Marriage
(d) Stealing

10. How do people know they are getting older?
(a) When they have to take their teeth out to eat
(b) When they can't blow out a candle
(c) When they become hunchbacked
(d) When they find the fish tank interesting

11. What does Seinfeld say he imagined he could taste the difference between as a kid?
(a) Jawbreakers
(b) Winegums
(c) Smarties
(d) M&Ms

12. What kind of security guards does Seinfeld talk about?
(a) Celebrity security guards
(b) Bank security guards
(c) Museum security guards
(d) Supermarket security guards

13. Where did Seinfeld's parents use to drag him to as a kid?
(a) Car fairs
(b) Antique fairs
(c) Historical sites
(d) Church

14. What does Seinfeld say a woman carries in her wallet?
(a) Pens
(b) Letters
(c) Coupons
(d) Photographs

15. What does Seinfeld think has gotten more complicated at the doctors?
(a) Operations
(b) Forms
(c) Waiting rooms
(d) Medication

Short Answer Questions

1. What kind of shows does Seinfeld find very entertaining?

2. Who thinks their audience is dumb?

3. Where does Seinfeld say he can never find anything?

4. What kind of uniform caused boys to beat Seinfeld up?

5. What does Seinfeld think workers should come up with so they don't have to think of different replies?

(see the answer keys)

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