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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does Seinfeld say stands very high?
(a) A pharmacist
(b) A psychiatrist
(c) A policeman
(d) A judge

2. What does Seinfeld think life boils down to?
(a) Laughter
(b) Movement
(c) Drinking
(d) Love

3. What invention does Seinfeld talk about?
(a) The helmet
(b) The axle
(c) The bicycle
(d) The wheel

4. What city does Seinfeld say is entertaining?
(a) New York
(b) Las Vegas
(c) San Francisco
(d) Los Angeles

5. What does Seinfeld think workers should come up with so they don't have to think of different replies?
(a) A look
(b) A code
(c) A dance
(d) A handshake

6. What newspapers does Seinfeld particularly dislike?
(a) The tabloid newspapers
(b) The local newspapers
(c) The Sunday newspapers
(d) The weekday newspapers

7. What does Seinfeld think a person needs on their feet to follow a mall map?
(a) Skiis
(b) Slippers
(c) Hiking boots
(d) Suction cups

8. What does Seinfeld say he is not good at doing?
(a) Drinking beer
(b) Investing money
(c) Concentrating
(d) Falling in love

9. What does Seinfeld think that people who try, but fail, to commit suicide should do?
(a) Come to his show
(b) Divorce
(c) Try again
(d) Listen to happier music

10. What does Seinfeld say is worse than paying your taxes?
(a) Hiring an accountant
(b) Not paying taxes
(c) Nothing
(d) Doing your taxes

11. What does Seinfeld think a museum security cannot stop someone from doing?
(a) Talking loudly
(b) Stealing
(c) Not paying
(d) Staying the night

12. What was Seinfeld not very good at as a child?
(a) Peeing
(b) Talking
(c) Eating
(d) Joking

13. What part of the zoo does Seinfeld talk about?
(a) The monkey house
(b) The lion's den
(c) The snake house
(d) The bird house

14. What does Seinfeld think it is fun to do when you are a policeman?
(a) Interviewing people
(b) Handcuffing people
(c) Giving people tickets
(d) Telling people what to do

15. What seafood does Seinfeld think it is cruel to eat?
(a) Carp
(b) Oysters
(c) Lobster
(d) Crab

Short Answer Questions

1. What job does Seinfeld think is the best in law enforcement?

2. What does Seinfeld's unemployed friend have to work hard at doing?

3. What does Seinfeld think makes little sense at movie theaters?

4. Why does Seinfeld not want his questions about Superman answered?

5. What does Seinfeld say men like to do when watching TV?

(see the answer keys)

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