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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Seinfeld say old people have to continuously look for?
(a) Their Teeth
(b) Dogs
(c) Boxes
(d) Their mind

2. Who does Seinfeld say cannot tell time?
(a) Doctors
(b) Secretaries
(c) Pharmacists
(d) Psychiatrists

3. What kind of commercials does Seinfeld hate?
(a) Commercials with celebrities
(b) Car commercials
(c) Public service commercials
(d) Macdonald commercials

4. How do people know they are getting older?
(a) When they become hunchbacked
(b) When they find the fish tank interesting
(c) When they can't blow out a candle
(d) When they have to take their teeth out to eat

5. Who does Seinfeld think should be licensed?
(a) Psychics
(b) Tarot readers
(c) Dog owners
(d) Cigarette smokers

6. What does Seinfeld hate the clerk doing when he goes shopping?
(a) Telling him he has made a good choice
(b) Asking him if he is Jerry Seinfeld
(c) Verifying his credit card
(d) Telling him one of his jokes

7. What superhero is Seinfeld a big fan of?
(a) Hellboy
(b) Captain America
(c) Batman
(d) Superman

8. What does Seinfeld think is the worst thing about television?
(a) It is too nostalgic
(b) It makes him want to do nothing
(c) The shows are pointless
(d) People are doing better than he is

9. What member of the orchestra does Seinfeld wonder about?
(a) The celloist
(b) The bassist
(c) The violinist
(d) The conductor

10. What city does Seinfeld say is entertaining?
(a) New York
(b) San Francisco
(c) Las Vegas
(d) Los Angeles

11. What does Seinfeld think workers should come up with so they don't have to think of different replies?
(a) A handshake
(b) A dance
(c) A look
(d) A code

12. What kind of shows does Seinfeld find very entertaining?
(a) Sex shows
(b) Fashion shows
(c) Horse shows
(d) Strip shows

13. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny that the police always have to give someone the Miranda?
(a) Other people have to be helped
(b) People know it from TV
(c) The criminal could get away
(d) People never listen to it

14. What newspapers does Seinfeld particularly dislike?
(a) The local newspapers
(b) The weekday newspapers
(c) The tabloid newspapers
(d) The Sunday newspapers

15. Why does Seinfeld not talk to people about his work?
(a) They want him to buy them drinks
(b) People expect him to be funny
(c) It makes people nervous
(d) He does not like to show off

Short Answer Questions

1. What did Seinfeld's teachers write on his test papers?

2. What city does Seinfeld think is like a mall?

3. Where does Seinfeld say he can never find anything?

4. Which of the following things did Seinfeld's parents fight over in the car?

5. Where did Seinfeld's parents use to drag him to as a kid?

(see the answer keys)

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