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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What was Seinfeld not very good at as a child?
(a) Peeing
(b) Talking
(c) Joking
(d) Eating

2. What job does Seinfeld think is the best in law enforcement?
(a) The camera guy
(b) The artist guy
(c) The chalk outline guy
(d) The fingerprint guy

3. What does Seinfeld say is worse than paying your taxes?
(a) Doing your taxes
(b) Nothing
(c) Hiring an accountant
(d) Not paying taxes

4. Why does Seinfeld not talk to people about his work?
(a) They want him to buy them drinks
(b) He does not like to show off
(c) People expect him to be funny
(d) It makes people nervous

5. What does Seinfeld say people like to recommend to each other?
(a) Doctors
(b) Lawyers
(c) Musicians
(d) Dentists

6. Who does Seinfeld say stands very high?
(a) A psychiatrist
(b) A judge
(c) A policeman
(d) A pharmacist

7. What does Seinfeld's unemployed friend have to work hard at doing?
(a) Finding something to do
(b) Waking up in the morning
(c) Keeping his benefits
(d) Feeling happy

8. What job does Seinfeld think is the toughest?
(a) Stand up
(b) Food tasting
(c) Unemployment
(d) Construction work

9. Who does Seinfeld think should be licensed?
(a) Cigarette smokers
(b) Dog owners
(c) Tarot readers
(d) Psychics

10. What does Seinfeld think it is fun to do when you are a policeman?
(a) Interviewing people
(b) Telling people what to do
(c) Handcuffing people
(d) Giving people tickets

11. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny that the police always have to give someone the Miranda?
(a) People never listen to it
(b) People know it from TV
(c) Other people have to be helped
(d) The criminal could get away

12. What did Seinfeld's parakeet use to fly into?
(a) Doors
(b) Windows
(c) Walls
(d) Mirrors

13. What superhero is Seinfeld a big fan of?
(a) Superman
(b) Captain America
(c) Batman
(d) Hellboy

14. What does Seinfeld say he thinks about a lot?
(a) Stranger women
(b) Jail
(c) Stealing
(d) Marriage

15. What women's sport does Seinfeld say he likes?
(a) Hockey
(b) Beach volleyball
(c) Gymnasts
(d) Tennis

Short Answer Questions

1. Why does Seinfeld think his parents live in Florida?

2. What does Seinfeld say old people have to continuously look for?

3. What kind of security guards does Seinfeld talk about?

4. What does Seinfeld say people do when they get older?

5. What does Seinfeld think is the worst thing about television?

(see the answer keys)

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