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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Seinfeld think a museum security cannot stop someone from doing?
(a) Talking loudly
(b) Staying the night
(c) Not paying
(d) Stealing

2. What do policemen have to give people before they arrest them?
(a) The Miranda
(b) The Yama
(c) The Oracle
(d) The Bloomer

3. Who does Seinfeld think should be licensed?
(a) Tarot readers
(b) Dog owners
(c) Cigarette smokers
(d) Psychics

4. Why does Seinfeld not talk to people about his work?
(a) It makes people nervous
(b) He does not like to show off
(c) People expect him to be funny
(d) They want him to buy them drinks

5. Where did Seinfeld's parents use to drag him to as a kid?
(a) Historical sites
(b) Church
(c) Car fairs
(d) Antique fairs

6. Where does Seinfeld think is a scary place to work?
(a) Radioshack
(b) Walmart
(c) Macdonalds
(d) Hoffritz

7. What does Seinfeld's unemployed friend have to work hard at doing?
(a) Keeping his benefits
(b) Feeling happy
(c) Waking up in the morning
(d) Finding something to do

8. What does Seinfeld think it must be awful to be called all the time?
(a) A clown
(b) A lion tamer
(c) A freak
(d) A writer

9. Why does Seinfeld not want his questions about Superman answered?
(a) He wants to keep enjoying it
(b) There are better things to do
(c) He wants to leave it a mystery
(d) He thinks he will be disappointed

10. What does Seinfeld think life boils down to?
(a) Movement
(b) Laughter
(c) Drinking
(d) Love

11. Why did Seinfeld not call the police when someone robbed his house?
(a) The robbers did him favor
(b) He had just stolen some food
(c) He was too busy
(d) There is nothing they could do

12. What does Seinfeld think makes little sense at movie theaters?
(a) Drink holders
(b) Folding chairs
(c) Aisles
(d) Advertisements

13. What does Seinfeld think people do too much of in the movies?
(a) Cough
(b) Shush
(c) Laugh
(d) Talk

14. What does Seinfeld say he has never had?
(a) A long term relationship
(b) A real job
(c) A Long Island Ice Tea
(d) A Budweiser

15. Why does Seinfeld hate "to be continued" shows?
(a) He can never bother to watch the second part
(b) You have to wait for a good ending
(c) He feels like he has wasted his time
(d) It is always a disappointment

Short Answer Questions

1. What women's sport does Seinfeld say he likes?

2. What does Seinfeld say is worse than paying your taxes?

3. What does Seinfeld say he is not good at doing?

4. What kind of uniform caused boys to beat Seinfeld up?

5. What did Seinfeld's mother do to the food to get him to eat?

(see the answer keys)

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