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This test consists of 5 multiple choice questions, 5 short answer questions, and 10 short essay questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why do limos confuse Seinfeld?
(a) Their windows are tinted
(b) They are too long
(c) You never see anyone get in or out
(d) They always go too slowly

2. What does Seinfeld think that people will one day show others how to save themselves from in a commercial?
(a) Strokes
(b) Choking
(c) Heart attacks
(d) Cancer

3. What word does Seinfeld find funny?
(a) Nightcap
(b) Pretty ugly
(c) Fumble
(d) Tumbleweed

4. What did Seinfeld's friend just have?
(a) A baptism
(b) A birthday
(c) A christening
(d) A baby

5. Why does Seinfeld think the ambulance stickers are dangerous?
(a) A driver could get in an accident reading it
(b) A driver immediately stops when he reads it
(c) A driver never looks into his mirror to read it
(d) A driver gets nervous when he reads it

Short Answer Questions

1. What kind of surgery does Seinfeld say he has never had?

2. What does Seinfeld say allows you a second chance?

3. What does Seinfeld want to have on him when he sees people he knows walking down the street?

4. What does Seinfeld hate saying?

5. What does Seinfeld think is the best part of being in a relationship?

Short Essay Questions

1. What does Seinfeld think about answering machines?

2. What does Seinfeld imagine that commercials will show in the future?

3. What does Seinfeld think about airports?

4. Why does Seinfeld believe that the suit is the uniform of all men?

5. What does Seinfeld think about favors?

6. Why does Seinfeld think that modern dating is better than dating in the past?

7. Why does Seinfeld think that people are afraid of flying?

8. Why does Seinfeld not like the term rhinoplasty?

9. What does Seinfeld think about car parking spaces?

10. What does Seinfeld believe people in a relationship should have to prevent a messy break?

(see the answer keys)

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