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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster "stand for?"
(a) All that is purple.
(b) All that is cheesy.
(c) All that is saucy.
(d) All that is good.

2. In "An Alternative Vision," what "grim reality" is NOT mentioned?
(a) Herpes.
(b) Famine.
(c) War.
(d) Diarrhea.

3. What is the "one undeniable theory" mentioned in "An Alternate Vision?"
(a) The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not like people.
(b) The Flying Spaghetti Monster is not very bright.
(c) The Flying Spaghetti Monster is bored with mankind.
(d) The Flying Spaghetti Monster forgot about Earth.

4. What does Henderson say the Flying Spaghetti Monster spreads with his Noodly Appendage?
(a) Goodness and affordable nutrition.
(b) Pandemonium.
(c) Friendliness and parmesan.
(d) Butter.

5. In "An Alternative Viewpoint," which manufacturer is NOT included in Longshanks' list of television makers?
(a) Toshiba.
(b) Sharp.
(c) Sony.
(d) Vizio.

6. What day of the week is the Flying Spaghetti Monster's chosen holiday?
(a) Friday.
(b) Sunday.
(c) Saturday.
(d) Wednesday.

7. What does Henderson say is the name of the man who invented the Macarena?
(a) Alejandro.
(b) Retardo.
(c) Fernando.
(d) Alberto.

8. Henderson says that kiwi birds are what shape?
(a) Ovals.
(b) Squares.
(c) Spheres.
(d) Triangles.

9. Henderson notes that college students tend to consume large amounts of what beverage?
(a) Water.
(b) Beer.
(c) Kool-Aid.
(d) Soda.

10. What is the official drink of Pirates?
(a) Beer, or "rotgut."
(b) Iced tea.
(c) Beer, or "grog."
(d) Rum.

11. Who does Longshanks mention as a group who would approve of Intelligent Design theory?
(a) NHL fans.
(b) NASCAR fans.
(c) NBA fans.
(d) NFL fans.

12. What does Henderson say is the purpose of chihuahuas and poodles?
(a) To make children feel taller.
(b) To make men feel inferior.
(c) To make man feel better about himself.
(d) To provide amusement for the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

13. Why does Henderson say witches are no longer a problem in the 21st century?
(a) The Flying Spaghetti Monster took them all to heaven.
(b) They all died from boredom.
(c) They killed each other off in The Great Witchy War.
(d) Our forefathers killed them all.

14. What does Henderson NOT include as an ingredient in his recipe for life?
(a) Elementary particles made from "string."
(b) Pepper.
(c) Salt.
(d) Boiling water.

15. In "An Alternative Viewpoint," where does Longshanks say Bobby Henderson purportedly sleep?
(a) In a coffin.
(b) In a crypt.
(c) In a pyramid.
(d) In a crib.

Short Answer Questions

1. In "An Alternative Viewpoint," who does Longshanks say are NOT voices for Evolution?

2. Why do Evolutionists argue that kiwi birds never learned to fly?

3. What does Henderson use to "prove" empirical science's shortcomings?

4. Scientists say kiwi birds never developed what ability?

5. What was the average height for humans two thousand years ago?

(see the answer keys)

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