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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is the "inalienable right" that Longshanks says is supported by "any real American?"
(a) The right to bear arms.
(b) The right to religious freedom.
(c) The right to download movies.
(d) The right to choices.

2. Henderson says that kiwi birds are what shape?
(a) Spheres.
(b) Triangles.
(c) Squares.
(d) Ovals.

3. According to Henderson, what religion's feelings are easily hurt?
(a) The Jains.
(b) The Buddhists.
(c) The Christians.
(d) The Mormons.

4. What does the Christian Communion-taker eat?
(a) Nothing.
(b) Pasta.
(c) A wafer.
(d) Bread.

5. What does Henderson speculate could be the reason for Flying Spaghetti Monster touching?
(a) The FSM likes short people.
(b) The FSM likes hitting humans on the head.
(c) The FSM is trying to hold humans still.
(d) The FSM does not want humans floating around in space.

6. What does Longshanks say is wrong with all the scientists who support the theory of Evolution?
(a) They had no sense of humor.
(b) They all have terrible haircuts.
(c) Their experiments have been disproven.
(d) They are all dead.

7. What is the Communion Test designed to prove?
(a) The meatballs are healthy.
(b) That pasta is better than bread.
(c) That communion wafers are poisonous.
(d) The existence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

8. What is the Flying Spaghetti Monsterist's "chosen garb?"
(a) Tutus.
(b) Footie pajamas.
(c) Full pirate regalia.
(d) Banana costumes.

9. What is the official drink of Pirates?
(a) Beer, or "grog."
(b) Iced tea.
(c) Rum.
(d) Beer, or "rotgut."

10. According to Henderson, man is created in whose image?
(a) Pirates.
(b) Midgets.
(c) Catholics.
(d) Jains.

11. In "An Alternative Viewpoint," what appliance does Longshanks use to describe the difference between Evolution and Intelligent Design?
(a) A kitchen sink.
(b) An old-fashioned television.
(c) A microwave.
(d) A flat-screen television.

12. What is the average height for humans today?
(a) Eight feet two inches.
(b) Five feet ten inches.
(c) Six feet one inch.
(d) Four feet ten inches.

13. In "An Alternate Vision," what do Snodgrass and Jaffari call their theory about creation?
(a) Intelligent Design.
(b) Inexplicable Chaos.
(c) Kind of Silly Design.
(d) Unintelligent Design.

14. What kind of volcano is in the Flying Spaghetti Monster's heaven?
(a) Soup.
(b) Oatmeal.
(c) Beer.
(d) Orange juice.

15. According to Henderson, what could happen to make man grow shorter after getting so tall in contemporary times?
(a) Global warming.
(b) An increase in Pirates.
(c) A worldwide plague.
(d) More pasta.

Short Answer Questions

1. How many kiwi birds does Henderson require in his experiment?

2. What do Snodgrass and Jaffari speculate is the reason the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not eradicate poverty, cancer, global warming, etc.?

3. What must be taught to "give young students' minds a broad foundation?"

4. What common college food seems to indicate the Flying Spaghetti Monster's presence on college campuses?

5. Why does Henderson expect the Flying Spaghetti Monster theory of gravity to be admitted into accepted science?

(see the answer keys)

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