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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why are many individuals prevented from forgiving?
(a) They have unrealistic expectations about forgiveness.
(b) They have wrong ideas about forgiveness.
(c) They feel they do not deserve forgiveness.
(d) They do not believe in forgiveness.

2. Future affairs will not be likely to occur if which action is taken?
(a) The underlying causes are examined and corrected.
(b) The unfaithful partner changes careers.
(c) The hurt partner works to regain self-esteem.
(d) The reasons for the affair are discussed with the lover.

3. Who do children need to value in their lives?
(a) Their parents.
(b) Their friends.
(c) Themselves.
(d) Their siblings.

4. How many blocks to change does the text address in chapter six?
(a) Eleven.
(b) Seven.
(c) Nine.
(d) Five.

5. For whom must forgiveness occur?
(a) For themselves and the lover.
(b) For their partner and themselves.
(c) For their parents and their partner.
(d) For the lover and their partner.

6. Avoiding change results from which type of block experienced by the person?
(a) Emotional.
(b) Cognitive.
(c) Physical.
(d) Relational.

7. If a childhood experience is missing from a person's life, the person will compensate with patterned, negative behavior referred to with which term?
(a) Void.
(b) Deficiency.
(c) Schema.
(d) Illusion.

8. Why do unfaithful partners feel pressure to perform sex at a high satisfactory level with their partner?
(a) To compensate for the loss of the lover.
(b) To regain sexual intimacy with the hurt partner.
(c) To prove the marriage is worth salvaging.
(d) To avoid the hurt partner fearing the affair is continuing.

9. How does the book describe the process of changing behavior?
(a) Integral.
(b) Necessary.
(c) Uncomfortable.
(d) Unavoidable.

10. How does the book view sex tools?
(a) Integral to maintaining the excitement in intimacy.
(b) Healthy if acceptable to both partners.
(c) Unnecessary if the marriage is working.
(d) Dangerous if used only with the lover.

11. In addition to feeling safe, children also need to feel which emotion?
(a) Secure.
(b) Loved.
(c) Wanted.
(d) Cherished.

12. If forgiveness is offered too quickly, how can it affect the individual?
(a) It can damage their self-esteem.
(b) It can deepen the pain of the affair.
(c) It can trigger childhood memories.
(d) It can affect their personal identity.

13. If the listener repeats the ideas back to the speaker, they are using which technique?
(a) Equality.
(b) Intimacy.
(c) Crossover.
(d) Mirror.

14. A hurt partner may believe their unfaithful partner is intentionally trying to achieve which task instead of changing for good?
(a) Cheat.
(b) Deception.
(c) Adultery.
(d) Betrayal.

15. Intimate listening can be described as which skill?
(a) Understanding what your partner is experiencing.
(b) Accepting what your partner is explaining.
(c) Hearing what your partner is trying to tell you.
(d) Agreeing with what your partner is saying.

Short Answer Questions

1. Which is an assumption about sexual intimacy by many couples?

2. A list is provided in Chapter 8 to help people understand the common areas of shame associated with which of the following?

3. Children who did not express themselves growing up were often treated in which way by their parents?

4. Adults who lack self-discipline often did not have which childhood experience?

5. Destructive behaviors can be forgiven without which of the following?

(see the answer keys)

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