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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. The genuine intention of an individual may be lost if the partner feels the behavior is only occurring for which reason?
(a) Because their marriage was damaged.
(b) Because they did not want to hurt the children.
(c) Because they were asked to change.
(d) Because the affair was ended.

2. Who do children need to value in their lives?
(a) Themselves.
(b) Their friends.
(c) Their parents.
(d) Their siblings.

3. Listening to complaints does not equate to which behavior?
(a) Acceptance.
(b) Awareness.
(c) Understanding.
(d) Forgiveness.

4. How does the text refer to childhood experiences?
(a) Formative development years.
(b) Important relationship history.
(c) Key stages of life.
(d) Critical growth experiences.

5. Developing realistic expectations of sex involves examining assumptions regarding which emotion?
(a) Desire.
(b) Love.
(c) Passion.
(d) Lust.

6. A hurt partner may believe their unfaithful partner is intentionally trying to achieve which task instead of changing for good?
(a) Cheat.
(b) Adultery.
(c) Deception.
(d) Betrayal.

7. Children need to function in which way?
(a) Without boundaries.
(b) Independently.
(c) Dependently.
(d) With supervision.

8. Forgiveness should not be offered in which way?
(a) Passionately and fully.
(b) Openly and honestly.
(c) Freely and unconditionally.
(d) Tentatively and earnestly.

9. Post-affair testing for AIDS is described in which way?
(a) Too emotional to be discussed.
(b) Optional for the unfaithful partner.
(c) Important for the lover.
(d) Necessary for both partners.

10. If sexual desires change, couples may assume this will lead to which outcome?
(a) Decrease in sexual intimacy.
(b) Avoiding sex.
(c) Hurt feelings.
(d) Unrealistic expectations.

11. If forgiveness is offered too quickly, how can it affect the individual?
(a) It can deepen the pain of the affair.
(b) It can damage their self-esteem.
(c) It can affect their personal identity.
(d) It can trigger childhood memories.

12. The author uses the term 'flip-flop' to describe which factor?
(a) Viewing the damage as irreversible.
(b) Understanding why hurt partners decide to cheat.
(c) Redefining negative traits as positive.
(d) Explaining the repeated return of the lover.

13. If a childhood experience is missing from a person's life, the person will compensate with patterned, negative behavior referred to with which term?
(a) Schema.
(b) Void.
(c) Illusion.
(d) Deficiency.

14. Intimate listening can be described as which skill?
(a) Understanding what your partner is experiencing.
(b) Agreeing with what your partner is saying.
(c) Accepting what your partner is explaining.
(d) Hearing what your partner is trying to tell you.

15. Forgiveness involves mental development and occurs in which timeframe?
(a) When the affair ends.
(b) Immediately.
(c) As time goes on.
(d) Quickly.

Short Answer Questions

1. In addition to feeling safe, children also need to feel which emotion?

2. Negative feelings are not implied during forgiveness to have which outcome?

3. For whom must forgiveness occur?

4. Behaviors that build trust are divided in the book into two categories based on which factor?

5. A partner may refuse to discuss the affair because of which false assumption?

(see the answer keys)

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