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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How should partners treat their unrealistic expectations of love and marriage?
(a) Critique each others' beliefs.
(b) Undergo couples counseling.
(c) Examine their origins.
(d) Decide mutually to forget them.

2. The person involved in the relationship, but who is not one of the married partners, is termed which of the following?
(a) Victimizer.
(b) Hurt.
(c) Betrayer.
(d) Lover.

3. After a decision is made, what must the couple do next to rebuild their relationship?
(a) Holding a recommitment ceremony.
(b) Rekindling romantic feelings.
(c) Removing the lover from the picture.
(d) Rebuilding the relationship.

4. A formal announcement by the partners should be made at which stage?
(a) After learning about the affair.
(b) After working on the relationship for a period of time.
(c) After deciding to divorce.
(d) After recommitting to the relationship.

5. How many psychological effects on the hurt partner, which occur after the discovery of an affair, does the book address?
(a) Seven.
(b) Five.
(c) Nine.
(d) Eleven.

6. Why does the author deliberately chose particular words and phrases to use in the book?
(a) To create a new language for the partners.
(b) To avoid emotionally charged labels.
(c) To help the couple speak openly about their problems.
(d) To eliminate stereotypes about infidelity.

7. For trust to be regained in a relationship, what must happen?
(a) The hurt partner must have an affair as well.
(b) The affair must be analyzed from all angles.
(c) The root causes of the affair must be eliminated.
(d) The lover must be involved in couples counseling.

8. One partner may assume that the relationship is in which state?
(a) Unrecognizable from its origins.
(b) Damaged beyond repair.
(c) Stale and unable to move forward.
(d) Deeply flawed and dysfunctional.

9. After an affair is discovered, how is the personal identity of hurt partner affected?
(a) It is recreated.
(b) It is improved.
(c) It is stabilized.
(d) It is lost.

10. After closer examination, the rationalizations used by the unfaithful partner to justify the affair often can be described in which way?
(a) Valid.
(b) Unsustainable.
(c) Biased.
(d) Illogical.

11. What is the fundamental difference between the hurt and unfaithful partners' reactions to the affair?
(a) The personal identity of the hurt partner may be unaffected.
(b) The sense of self-respect of the hurt partner may be strengthened.
(c) The relgious beliefs of the unfaithful partner may be devastated.
(d) The sense of self of the unfaithful partner may have benefited.

12. Inadequacy in the relationship is felt by whom?
(a) Both male and female hurt partners.
(b) Female hurt partners.
(c) Neither of the hurt partners.
(d) Male hurt partners.

13. An unfaithful partner may experience which emotion after leaving the lover?
(a) Guilt.
(b) Despair.
(c) Resentment.
(d) Anger.

14. Which idea is unlikely about the couple working through an extramarital affair?
(a) They are stronger.
(b) They are dysfunctional.
(c) They are committed.
(d) They are incompatible.

15. If an affair is not completely understood, the unfaithful partner may react in which way?
(a) They may disengage from the marriage.
(b) They may have another affair.
(c) They may not abandon their lover.
(d) They may leave the hurt partner.

Short Answer Questions

1. Men distract themselves with external events when dealing with an unfaithful partner while women react in which way?

2. The stage of disenchantment in a relationship can be described with which term?

3. The most fundamental situation faced by the partners in a marriage post-affair is which of the following?

4. Which term does the book use to describe the partner who is involved in the affair?

5. A loss of sense of purpose can lead to which outcome for the hurt partner?

(see the answer keys)

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