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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What might the narrator of "Christmas Means Giving" give his wife for a stocking stuffer?
(a) Bowling ball shiner.
(b) Hedge polisher.
(c) Fur-lined jeans.
(d) New car.

2. What does Jim Timothy call the people he is addressing in the church?
(a) Rubes.
(b) Hicks.
(c) Hillbillies.
(d) Rednecks.

3. The narrator of "Christmas Means Giving" says generosity can should induce feelings of _________ in others.
(a) Awe.
(b) Pride.
(c) Inspiration.
(d) Shame.

4. What do the Cottinghams give the beggar the first time?
(a) A coat.
(b) A turkey leg.
(c) A bite in the leg.
(d) A dollar.

5. What does Doug Cottingham have a collection of?
(a) Post-Coumbian pottery.
(b) Post-Lincolnian pipes.
(c) Pre-Columbian sofa beds.
(d) Pre-Cambrian death beds.

6. The main problem Thaddeus Bristol sees in all the shows is the actors eagerness to ________.
(a) Sing.
(b) Act.
(c) Bow.
(d) Please.

7. What are all the top hats made from in the performances Thaddeus Bristol sees?
(a) Buckets.
(b) Trashcans.
(c) Oatmeal canisters.
(d) Felt.

8. How old is the child that the mother performed surgery on, according to Jim Timothy?
(a) Eight.
(b) Seven.
(c) Six.
(d) Five.

9. Where do they find the narrator's dead sons?
(a) The Cottingham's basement.
(b) A ditch.
(c) Their front yard.
(d) Traveling sauna.

10. How long after the miraculous surgery in "Based Upon a True Story" does the boy die?
(a) 6 days.
(b) 3 days.
(c) 5 days.
(d) 2 days.

11. What was the name of the actor who played Scrooge?
(a) Hershel.
(b) Benny.
(c) Milton.
(d) Wilbur.

12. What was Jim Timothy put in charge of at a rival network?
(a) Soap operas.
(b) News.
(c) Dramatic programming.
(d) Sitcoms.

13. What do the Cottinghams give the beggar the second Thanksgiving he comes along?
(a) Eight-track tape deck.
(b) Sun lamp.
(c) Car.
(d) VCR.

14. What is the name of the show at Scottsfield Elementary?
(a) "Santa's Gift."
(b) "A Missing Reindeer."
(c) "Blitzen's Blast."
(d) "A Reindeer's Gift."

15. What would the narrator use a silver wand for on Christmas day in "Christmas Means Giving"?
(a) Stabbing beggars.
(b) Granting wishes.
(c) Throwing up.
(d) Disappearing.

Short Answer Questions

1. Thaddeus Bristol compares the smiles of the children actors to what at the end of his tirade?

2. What does each performance receive from the audience, according to Thaddeus Bristol?

3. What does the narrator carry around with him to prove his generosity in "Christmas Means Giving"?

4. Jim Timothy describes the congregation as ___________.

5. Thaddeus Bristol is particularly troubled by the casting of __________.

(see the answer keys)

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