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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the narrator build so he won't be outdone by the Cottinghams?
(a) Rotunda.
(b) Baseball field.
(c) Skating rink.
(d) Soccer field.

2. What does Jim Timothy call the people he is addressing in the church?
(a) Hicks.
(b) Rubes.
(c) Hillbillies.
(d) Rednecks.

3. Doug Cottingham gives the beggar the keys to his________.
(a) Riding vacuum.
(b) House.
(c) Mercedes.
(d) Traveling sauna.

4. How old is Eileen Cottingham in "Christmas Means Giving"?
(a) 8.
(b) 9.
(c) 6.
(d) 7.

5. What does Jim Timothy call the marriage of mini-series and holiday special?
(a) Brilliance.
(b) Genius.
(c) Disaster.
(d) Art.

6. Beth makes a necklace out of __________ in "Christmas Means Giving."
(a) Her hair.
(b) Her teeth.
(c) Toes.
(d) Kidney stones.

7. Thaddeus Bristol says Christmas signifies these three things EXCEPT one:
(a) Terrible music.
(b) Worse theater.
(c) Unforgivable television.
(d) Bad movies.

8. What is Jim Timothy's title?
(a) Executive Producer.
(b) Director.
(c) Writer.
(d) Studio Executive.

9. What was the name of the actor who played Scrooge?
(a) Wilbur.
(b) Milton.
(c) Benny.
(d) Hershel.

10. What body part does Doug Cottingham donate first?
(a) A lung.
(b) A kidney.
(c) A spleen.
(d) An eye.

11. Beth donates her leg and breasts to ___________ in "Christmas Means Giving."
(a) A research lab.
(b) A church.
(c) A woman's shelter.
(d) An animal shelter.

12. What does each performance receive from the audience, according to Thaddeus Bristol?
(a) Curtain calls.
(b) Coins thrown onstage.
(c) Flowers.
(d) Standing ovations.

13. What does Doug Cottingham have a collection of?
(a) Post-Lincolnian pipes.
(b) Post-Coumbian pottery.
(c) Pre-Columbian sofa beds.
(d) Pre-Cambrian death beds.

14. What kind of dog plays Blitzen in the Scottsfield Elementary School performance?
(a) Golden retriever.
(b) Great Dane.
(c) Poodle.
(d) Basset hound.

15. What does Thaddeus Bristol say is ironically missing from each performance?
(a) Christmas spirit.
(b) Good scripts.
(c) Enthusiasm.
(d) Adorable children.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does he narrator give the beggar the first time he sees him in "Christmas Means Giving"?

2. Jim Timothy touts his skills as a __________.

3. Who does Thaddeus Bristol blame for most the problems with "A Christmas Carol" performance?

4. What is the name of the Cottingham's maid?

5. How many wives has Jim Timothy had?

(see the answer keys)

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