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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Lisa agrees to give Sedaris unlimited use of her ________ to get him to go somewhere with her on birthday.
(a) Phone.
(b) Car.
(c) Computer.
(d) Hair-dryer.

2. Where is Khe Sahn from?
(a) Korea.
(b) China.
(c) Vietnam.
(d) Cambodia.

3. How long was Clifford Dunbar married the first time?
(a) 9 months.
(b) 4 months.
(c) 6 months.
(d) 8 months.

4. What is the name of the town the Dunbar's live in?
(a) South Paw.
(b) White Castle.
(c) South Castle.
(d) White Paw.

5. What is the name of the neighbor who reports seeing Jocelyn Dunbar on the afternoon of the murder?
(a) Cherri.
(b) Charlotte.
(c) Cherise.
(d) Cheryl.

6. Sedaris graciously accepts leaflets from someone dressed as a ______ .
(a) Dog.
(b) Hot dog.
(c) Camcorder.
(d) Taco.

7. The cafeteria where Sedaris works is decorated in ________.
(a) Black velet.
(b) Red velvet.
(c) Fake wood.
(d) Fake leather.

8. The SantaLand ad promises _________.
(a) Excitement.
(b) Glamour.
(c) Good pay.
(d) Connections.

9. How quickly could Santa and elf Sedaris get kids on and off Santa's lap on Christmas Eve?
(a) 90 seconds.
(b) 45 seconds.
(c) 60 seconds.
(d) 30 seconds.

10. Sedaris says he wants to be an elf because it is a _________ career opportunity.
(a) Frightening.
(b) Good.
(c) Dismal.
(d) Promising.

11. What does Khe Sahn wear to the Dunbar Thanksgiving dinner?
(a) Bikini.
(b) Silk slip.
(c) Nothing.
(d) Plastic bags.

12. What kind of tattoo does Jackelyn Dunbar's husband have on his neck?
(a) Barbwire.
(b) Crosses.
(c) Flames.
(d) Hearts.

13. Sedaris hopes to gain wisdom from the _______ that work at the cafeteria with him.
(a) Convicts.
(b) Students.
(c) Managers.
(d) Women.

14. What did Sedaris see someone dressed as and handing out leaflets on Lexington Avenue?
(a) Dog.
(b) Camcorder.
(c) Hot dog.
(d) Taco.

15. What is the date of Jocelyn Dunbar's hearing?
(a) December 30.
(b) December 28.
(c) December 29.
(d) December 27.

Short Answer Questions

1. How many of Santa's visitors does Sedaris estimate are adults?

2. Who is the mall Santa in "Dinah, the Christmas Whore"?

3. What does Khe Sahn's interpreter want to be paid to teach her English?

4. In "Dinah, the Christmas Whore" Sedaris compares mall shoppers to what?

5. What kind of soap does Kyle Dunbar use for carving gnomes?

(see the answer keys)

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