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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Sedaris discovers while working at the cafeteria that most people are what?
(a) Lazy.
(b) Frightened.
(c) Smart.
(d) Kind.

2. What is Sedaris's job at the cafeteria?
(a) Meat carver.
(b) Steam tables.
(c) Dish washer.
(d) Salad prep.

3. SantaLand is part of Macy's ___________.
(a) Herald Square
(b) Central Park.
(c) Grand Central Station.
(d) Times Square.

4. What is the name of Jackelyn Dunbar's husband?
(a) Todd.
(b) Timothy.
(c) Joey.
(d) John.

5. The cafeteria where Sedaris works is decorated in ________.
(a) Black velet.
(b) Fake wood.
(c) Red velvet.
(d) Fake leather.

6. What is the legal name of Jackelyn Dunbar's baby?
(a) God Goode.
(b) Devil Dunbar.
(c) Satan Speaks.
(d) Jesus Christ.

7. How many letters did Clifford Dunbar send to his wife while he was in the service?
(a) 10.
(b) 1.
(c) 4.
(d) 50.

8. Sedaris compares Sallie Mae to a __________.
(a) Hillbilly.
(b) Sexy lady.
(c) Beast.
(d) Grandmother.

9. Jocelyn Dunbar's motto is "A family is not a ___________."
(a) Good time.
(b) Choice.
(c) Charitable organization.
(d) Commune.

10. What kind of tattoo does Jackelyn Dunbar's husband have on his neck?
(a) Flames.
(b) Barbwire.
(c) Crosses.
(d) Hearts.

11. What is the name of the neighbor who reports seeing Jocelyn Dunbar on the afternoon of the murder?
(a) Charlotte.
(b) Cherri.
(c) Cherise.
(d) Cheryl.

12. Everything about the_______ intimidates Sedaris in SantaLand.
(a) Holiday season.
(b) Elf costume.
(c) Cash register.
(d) Children.

13. In "Dinah, the Christmas Whore" Sedaris compares mall shoppers to what?
(a) Zombies.
(b) Sheep.
(c) Drones.
(d) Cows.

14. Where does Kevin Dunbar go to college?
(a) Fresno State.
(b) Freeman College.
(c) Feeny State.
(d) Feesy College.

15. What is Sedaris's reaction to seeing the SantaLand ad?
(a) Frustration.
(b) Tears.
(c) Laughter.
(d) Hope.

Short Answer Questions

1. How much money does Lisa give Sedaris to get him to go somewhere with her on the birthday?

2. One afternoon they set a record at SantaLand by getting _______ people through in one hour.

3. As Sedaris works at the cafeteria, what is he searching for in life?

4. What is the only thing they sell in SantaLand?

5. What is the name of the town the Dunbar's live in?

(see the answer keys)

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