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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Joceylyn Dunbar compares Khe Sahn to what?
(a) Terrier.
(b) Pekinese.
(c) Siamese cat.
(d) Cockatoo.

2. How old is Sedaris is "SantaLand Diaries"?
(a) 33.
(b) 53.
(c) 43.
(d) 23.

3. What kind of tattoo does Jackelyn Dunbar's husband have on his neck?
(a) Crosses.
(b) Hearts.
(c) Barbwire.
(d) Flames.

4. What does David try to get Lisa to listen to on the radio as they are driving somewhere on her birthday?
(a) Classical music.
(b) News.
(c) Basketball.
(d) Baseball.

5. Where does Sedaris picture Socrates helping after he loses his memory?
(a) Santa Fe.
(b) St. Louis.
(c) Las Vegas.
(d) Denver.

6. Sedaris's father believes jobs ________.
(a) Build bank accounts.
(b) Improve integrity.
(c) Build character.
(d) Interfere with homework.

7. Sedaris discovers while working at the cafeteria that most people are what?
(a) Lazy.
(b) Frightened.
(c) Smart.
(d) Kind.

8. What does Sedaris feel for the shoppers who come to eat at the cafeteria where he works?
(a) Fondness.
(b) Animosity.
(c) Hatred.
(d) Pity.

9. What is the only thing they sell in SantaLand?
(a) Photos.
(b) Posters.
(c) Toys.
(d) Candy canes.

10. What is the nickname Cliff Dunbar gives to his grandson?
(a) Crack Baby.
(b) Loser.
(c) Idiot.
(d) Bad baby.

11. Where does Sedaris arrive in New York City?
(a) Grand Central Station.
(b) Penn Station.
(c) Times Square.
(d) Port Authority.

12. The cafeteria where Sedaris works is decorated in ________.
(a) Red velvet.
(b) Fake wood.
(c) Fake leather.
(d) Black velet.

13. What is Sedaris's elf name?
(a) Puff.
(b) Crumpet.
(c) Snowball.
(d) Sleighbell.

14. Christmas is causing Sedaris to have a(n) _________ in "Dinah, the Christmas Whore."
(a) Ethical dilemma.
(b) Identity crisis.
(c) Moral dilemma.
(d) Existential crisis.

15. What was the name of Clifford Dunbar's first wife?
(a) Cheryl Kerr.
(b) Babs Swint.
(c) Dana Babson.
(d) Doll Babcock.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the legal name of Jackelyn Dunbar's baby?

2. What is the name of the town the Dunbar's live in?

3. How long was Clifford Dunbar married the first time?

4. What is Kevin Dunbar majoring in at college?

5. What is the date of the day that Jocelyn Dunbar leaves Khe Sahn in charge of the baby?

(see the answer keys)

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