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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is Sedaris's favorite job at SantaLand?
(a) Pointer Elf.
(b) Photo Elf.
(c) Usher Elf.
(d) Maze Elf.

2. Where is Sedaris's first job at SantaLand?
(a) Elf Island.
(b) Maze Elf.
(c) Magic Star.
(d) Photo Elf.

3. What show does Khe Sahn watch to learn English?
(a) American Idol.
(b) Law and Order.
(c) Sesame Street.
(d) Evening news.

4. How many pages of forms does Sedaris fill out for his elf application?
(a) 10.
(b) 15.
(c) 2.
(d) 5.

5. What is the feeling Sedaris has for his sister Lisa at the end of "Dinah, the Christmas Whore"?
(a) Fear.
(b) Frustration.
(c) Pride.
(d) Pity.

6. What kind of soap does Kyle Dunbar use for carving gnomes?
(a) Irish Spring.
(b) Petal soft.
(c) Dove.
(d) Ivory.

7. Sedaris dreams of writing for ___________.
(a) Days of Our Lives.
(b) General Hospital.
(c) One Life to Live.
(d) All My Children.

8. How long was Clifford Dunbar married the first time?
(a) 4 months.
(b) 8 months.
(c) 9 months.
(d) 6 months.

9. In a previous interview, Sedaris said he liked the ________.
(a) Uniforms.
(b) Pay.
(c) Car.
(d) Perks.

10. What is the date of Jocelyn Dunbar's hearing?
(a) December 27.
(b) December 28.
(c) December 29.
(d) December 30.

11. What does Sedaris decide to wear for the Christmas season he works at the cafeteria?
(a) White.
(b) Black.
(c) Red.
(d) Yellow.

12. What does David try to get Lisa to listen to on the radio as they are driving somewhere on her birthday?
(a) Baseball.
(b) Basketball.
(c) Classical music.
(d) News.

13. Jocelyn Dunbar's motto is "A family is not a ___________."
(a) Charitable organization.
(b) Choice.
(c) Good time.
(d) Commune.

14. Who is the most adorable elf in SantaLand?
(a) Puff.
(b) Crumpet.
(c) Snowball.
(d) Sleighbell.

15. What is the name of the cafeteria where Lisa Sedaris gets a job?
(a) Cambridge.
(b) Piccadilly.
(c) K & W.
(d) Tiffany.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to Sedaris, Sallie Mae is located where?

2. What famous visitor to SantaLand does Sedaris point out to everyone?

3. Where is baby Don found dead in the house?

4. One afternoon they set a record at SantaLand by getting _______ people through in one hour.

5. What does Sedaris feel for the shoppers who come to eat at the cafeteria where he works?

(see the answer keys)

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