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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Which is Sedaris's least favorite job at SantaLand?
(a) Photo Elf.
(b) Pointer Elf.
(c) Maze Elf.
(d) Usher Elf.

2. One afternoon they set a record at SantaLand by getting _______ people through in one hour.
(a) 600.
(b) 1000.
(c) 1400.
(d) 1200.

3. What is the name of the town the Dunbar's live in?
(a) South Paw.
(b) South Castle.
(c) White Castle.
(d) White Paw.

4. Everything about the_______ intimidates Sedaris in SantaLand.
(a) Children.
(b) Holiday season.
(c) Cash register.
(d) Elf costume.

5. At Sedaris's cafeteria, the customer is always ________.
(a) King.
(b) Royalty.
(c) Right.
(d) Happy.

6. What is Sedaris's reaction to seeing the SantaLand ad?
(a) Hope.
(b) Frustration.
(c) Tears.
(d) Laughter.

7. What is the date of the day that Jocelyn Dunbar leaves Khe Sahn in charge of the baby?
(a) December 18.
(b) December 14.
(c) December 16.
(d) December12.

8. What kind of soap does Kyle Dunbar use for carving gnomes?
(a) Ivory.
(b) Dove.
(c) Petal soft.
(d) Irish Spring.

9. How much money does Lisa give Sedaris to get him to go somewhere with her on the birthday?
(a) $5.
(b) $10.
(c) $3.
(d) $1.

10. Who does Sedaris discuss the Santa/Satan connection with?
(a) Snowball.
(b) Puff.
(c) Crumpet.
(d) Sleighbell.

11. Sedaris likes to tell customers at SantaLand that their pictures will arrive in ________.
(a) December.
(b) January.
(c) August.
(d) July.

12. The SantaLand ad promises _________.
(a) Connections.
(b) Glamour.
(c) Excitement.
(d) Good pay.

13. In "Socrates and Company," Sedaris would travel the world with a _________.
(a) Entourage.
(b) Cat.
(c) Dog.
(d) Monkey.

14. What show does Khe Sahn watch to learn English?
(a) Sesame Street.
(b) Law and Order.
(c) American Idol.
(d) Evening news.

15. In a previous interview, Sedaris said he liked the ________.
(a) Uniforms.
(b) Pay.
(c) Car.
(d) Perks.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Khe Sahn's interpreter want to be paid to teach her English?

2. Who drew Sedaris' name for family gift giving in "Dinah, the Christmas Whore"?

3. How old is Sedaris is "SantaLand Diaries"?

4. Who is the most adorable elf in SantaLand?

5. According to Sedaris, Sallie Mae is located where?

(see the answer keys)

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