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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In "Dinah, the Christmas Whore" Sedaris compares mall shoppers to what?
(a) Sheep.
(b) Drones.
(c) Cows.
(d) Zombies.

2. How long does it take the police to get the Dunbars home after Jocelyn calls them?
(a) 24 minutes.
(b) 25 minutes.
(c) 26 minutes.
(d) 27 minutes.

3. What does Sedaris feel for the shoppers who come to eat at the cafeteria where he works?
(a) Hatred.
(b) Pity.
(c) Fondness.
(d) Animosity.

4. What time is Sedaris's plane supposed to leave in "SantaLand Diaries"?
(a) 10 p.m.
(b) 11 p.m.
(c) 9 p.m.
(d) 8 p.m.

5. Lisa agrees to give Sedaris unlimited use of her ________ to get him to go somewhere with her on birthday.
(a) Phone.
(b) Computer.
(c) Car.
(d) Hair-dryer.

6. Sedaris hopes to end every episode of "Socrates and Company" with what?
(a) A gun fight.
(b) A joke.
(c) A car chase.
(d) A revelation.

7. Sedaris hopes to gain wisdom from the _______ that work at the cafeteria with him.
(a) Students.
(b) Managers.
(c) Convicts.
(d) Women.

8. Sedaris graciously accepts leaflets from someone dressed as a ______ .
(a) Taco.
(b) Dog.
(c) Camcorder.
(d) Hot dog.

9. How old is Kyle Dunbar?
(a) 12.
(b) 15.
(c) 13.
(d) 14.

10. According to Sedaris, Sallie Mae is located where?
(a) Missouri.
(b) Nebraska.
(c) New York.
(d) Kansas.

11. Sedaris dreams of writing for ___________.
(a) Days of Our Lives.
(b) All My Children.
(c) General Hospital.
(d) One Life to Live.

12. What is Lisa Sedaris's job at the cafeteria?
(a) Steam tables.
(b) Dish washer.
(c) Salad prep.
(d) Meat carver.

13. What name do the Dunbar's call Jackelyn's baby?
(a) Ted.
(b) Don.
(c) Joe.
(d) John.

14. In a previous interview, Sedaris said he liked the ________.
(a) Car.
(b) Uniforms.
(c) Pay.
(d) Perks.

15. What is the name of the town the Dunbar's live in?
(a) White Castle.
(b) South Castle.
(c) South Paw.
(d) White Paw.

Short Answer Questions

1. How much money does Lisa give Sedaris to get him to go somewhere with her on the birthday?

2. What is the first name of Khe Sahn Dunbar's interpreter?

3. Where is Khe Sahn from?

4. What is Sedaris's elf name?

5. Who is the most adorable elf in SantaLand?

(see the answer keys)

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