|Name: _________________________||Period: ___________________|
This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.
Multiple Choice Questions
1. Why is Jack Kennedy sad being at Choate?
(a) He misses his family.
(b) He is the only Catholic.
(c) He hates school.
(d) He wants to be Jewish.
2. Who does Ford mistake Brezhnev for?
(b) His mother.
3. When does Spain offer Jews conversion or expulsion?
4. What is the theme of the Hanson Christmas?
(a) Saint Jude.
(c) Village Elves.
5. What does Ford call the place where the tape recordings are stored?
(a) His Secret Stash.
(b) Orion's Belt.
(c) The Presidential Library.
(d) Under the Mattress.
6. Who kills Senor Jangles in "Local News"?
(a) His neighbors.
(b) James MacPherson.
(c) Senorita Jangles.
(d) A taco.
7. On what character is the New Judaism mascot based, according to the narrator of "The New Judaism"?
(a) The Wizard of Oz.
(b) Jolly Green Giant.
(d) Joe Camel.
8. How does Eileen Hanson refer to her boys' musical endeavors?
(a) A little music project.
(b) A science project.
(c) A freak show.
(d) The best show on earth.
9. What does Eileen Hanson ask for in a "P.S." in her Christmas card?
(a) A new husband.
(b) Some fancy nightgowns.
(c) Prayer for her addiction.
(d) Money to repair a cleft lip.
10. What does the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" recommend for the exterior of the vagina?
(a) Hair removal.
(d) Hair dye.
11. What does Senor Jangles do before he starts working for Taco Bell?
(a) Participates in dog shows.
(b) Minor roles.
(c) Preaches on television.
(d) Makes adult movies.
12. How long do the visitors in the vagina stay, according to the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina"?
(a) Usually only three to ten minutes.
(c) Up to nine months.
13. What is Diana's reaction when she does not receive an answer from Mother Teresa in "Pen Pals"?
(a) She assumes the letter was lost in the mail.
(b) She is petulant.
(c) She is not affected.
(d) She cries.
14. In "Da Vinci," which of the following was not a subject of da Vinci's notebook drawings?
(a) Buffalo Chicken Wings.
(b) Thanksgiving dinner.
(c) Air freshener.
(d) Ass Comb.
15. Where is the manuscript in "The Last Supper" discovered?
(a) With some college applications from Yale.
(b) The Sinai Peninsula.
(c) In a glass bottle in the ocean.
(d) Under President Clinton's mattress.
Short Answer Questions
1. What does Al Haig give up to get Ford to sign Nixon's pardon?
2. What does the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" say the interior vagina should be?
3. On whose behalf does Eileen send the Christmas card?
4. How does the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" say the vagina should look?
5. What does Ford's steward try to convince Ford of?
This section contains 461 words
(approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page)