|Name: _________________________||Period: ___________________|
This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.
Multiple Choice Questions
1. What does Senor Jangles do before he starts working for Taco Bell?
(a) Participates in dog shows.
(b) Makes adult movies.
(c) Preaches on television.
(d) Minor roles.
2. The narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" says treatments should neither ________ nor ___________.
(a) Distract; frustrate.
(b) Thicken; thin.
(c) Attract; disgust.
(d) Remove; add.
3. Where have the Jews put down a time-share, according to "The New Judaism"?
(a) Mobile, Alabama.
(b) Cape Cod.
(c) Miami Beach.
(d) A Majorca convent.
4. In "Pen Pals, " what does Diana suggest she do with Mother Teresa?
(b) Go sunbathing.
(c) Cook dinner.
(d) Go out for drinks.
5. Who ends up opening Ford's Coke bottle?
(a) HIllary Clinton.
(b) Jackie Onassis.
(c) Betty Ford.
(d) Lady Bird Johnson.
6. Which character is "top dog" at Choate?
(a) Rosalie Kennedy.
(b) Jackie Bouvier.
(c) Jack Kennedy.
(d) Teddy Kennedy.
7. To whom do the Kennedys give an "extra child"?
(a) The narrator's father.
(b) The President.
(c) Mother Teresa.
(d) Princess Diana.
8. Why is Eileen's handwriting sloppy?
(a) Her heart is pounding.
(b) She is drunk and/or high.
(c) She is going through withdrawal.
(d) She is writing in her limousine.
9. Where is Senor Jangles discovered?
(a) On QVC.
(b) On a Los Angeles street corner.
(c) At a karaoke bar.
(d) In daycare.
10. What does Ford's steward try to convince Ford of?
(a) He lives in Manchuria.
(b) That he is now president.
(c) The sky is actually falling.
(d) He is about to die.
11. What sort of accident does Teddy Kennedy have during the trip?
12. What does the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" say the interior vagina should be?
(a) A multifaceted everyspace.
(d) Ready for business.
13. What does the letter Diana's father in "Pen Pals" receive suggest?
(a) That Diana is still alive.
(b) That he give a donation to the Sisters of Charity.
(c) That Diana was a saint.
(d) That Mother Teresa is planning on hurting Diana.
14. Where is Senor Jangles killed?
(a) Anaheim, CA.
(b) Mexico City, Mexico.
(c) Orlando, FL.
(d) Washington, DC.
15. On what character is the New Judaism mascot based, according to the narrator of "The New Judaism"?
(a) Joe Camel.
(b) The Wizard of Oz.
(c) Jolly Green Giant.
Short Answer Questions
1. Who makes it clear that Teresa is busy, according to the narrator of "Pen Pals"?
2. Who is the waiter at Jesus' dinner party in "The Last Supper"?
3. Where do Jack Kennedy and Lem go to see the Kennedys?
4. What does Eileen Hanson write at the end of her letter?
5. What does Ford call the place where the tape recordings are stored?
This section contains 425 words
(approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page)