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This test consists of 5 multiple choice questions, 5 short answer questions, and 10 short essay questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?
(a) Mr. McGregor.
(b) Mr. Winston.
(c) Mr. Whipple.
(d) Mr. Rogers.

2. What is the narrator's most common position in life?
(a) Strategist.
(b) Observer.
(c) Visionary.
(d) Tactician.

3. What does the narrator ruminate on as he sits in the tunnel?
(a) The meaning of life.
(b) Politics.
(c) His crazy relatives.
(d) The unknowability of God.

4. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.
(a) Conformists.
(b) Soccer moms.
(c) Bearded hippies.
(d) Teenagers.

5. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?
(a) Fire drills.
(b) Thunderstorms.
(c) Air raid drills.
(d) Being called on.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to the narrator, Camper people are ____________________.

2. What is sprinkled throughout the catalog?

3. What was the name of the corporate-owned ice cream parlor that moved into town?

4. The term "lemon" when used to refer to a bad car began with a man who lost a race in ____________ in 1903.

5. What is one of the "get rich quick" products in the catalog?

Short Essay Questions

1. How does the narrator recall growing up in his family in small-town Indiana?

2. What prompts the narrator's memory about the great ice cream war?

3. How does the narrator's experience in the Lincoln Tunnel mirror his demeanor during his school years?

4. Describe how Mr. Leggett managed to drive The Happy Cow out of business.

5. Define a BNA and cite some supporting examples.

6. How does the narrator speculate that the archaeologists might think the commercials are somehow religious media?

7. What defense mechanisms did the kids in the back of the room develop in order to deflect the teachers' questions?

8. What was the worst case scenario of a BNA?

9. Who is Howard and why is he so depressed about the word "lemon"?

10. What is the imaginary Sociology lecture the narrator gives on car culture and describe the differences between the Camper Crowd and Van people.

(see the answer keys)

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