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This test consists of 5 multiple choice questions, 5 short answer questions, and 10 short essay questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How did the narrator arrive at the correct answer to the equation in front of the Algebra class?
(a) Inspiration.
(b) Cheating.
(c) Wild guess.
(d) Computation.

2. How does the narrator characterize himself?
(a) Self-defeating.
(b) Self-confident.
(c) Brilliant.
(d) Aggressive.

3. The archaeologists will probably think that TV commercials are some form of ______________.
(a) Mating ritual.
(b) Religion.
(c) Communism.
(d) Pornography.

4. The narrator recalls sitting in a class taught by _______________.
(a) Miss Peterson.
(b) Mr. Pearson.
(c) Mr. Pittinger.
(d) Mrs. Piedmont.

5. How did the Igloo finally win the ice cream war?
(a) Put a cherry on top of everything.
(b) Added 20 new flavors.
(c) Started offering sandwiches too.
(d) Gave ice cream for free.

Short Answer Questions

1. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?

2. What is sprinkled throughout the catalog?

3. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?

4. What is one of the "get rich quick" products in the catalog?

5. What is the narrator's most common position in life?

Short Essay Questions

1. What has the NLGA done to try to counteract the negative perceptions of lemons?

2. What human foibles does the Johnson Smith catalog prey on and why does the narrator appreciate it?

3. Define a BNA and cite some supporting examples.

4. Why do people find items such as those found in the Johnson Smith catalog to be humorous?

5. How does the narrator's experience in the Lincoln Tunnel mirror his demeanor during his school years?

6. What ironies does the narrator point out in the actuality of camper and van usage as opposed to the typical perceptions of the vehicles?

7. Who is Howard and why is he so depressed about the word "lemon"?

8. How was the great Ice Cream War another example of brains vs. brawn in the narrator's life?

9. What was the worst case scenario of a BNA?

10. Why does the narrator attribute his academic doom to classroom seating?

(see the answer keys)

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