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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In what city landmark is the narrator stalled?
(a) Brooklyn Bridge.
(b) Empire State Building.
(c) Chrysler Building.
(d) Lincoln Tunnel.

2. What was the truck in front of the narrator carrying?
(a) Flattened cars.
(b) Tires.
(c) Milk.
(d) Chemicals.

3. In addition to the Statue of Liberty, what else does the narrator think is an American construct of false Utopia?
(a) Sea World.
(b) Disneyland.
(c) NFL Football.
(d) McDonald's.

4. Who is the head of the summer camp?
(a) Colonel Bullard.
(b) Colonel Bastion.
(c) Colonel Buford.
(d) Colonel Quigby.

5. To what does the narrator compare the Margate Elephant?
(a) Frisch's Big Boy.
(b) The Statue of Liberty.
(c) Shamu.
(d) Shrek.

6. What could the narrator tell about the tailgater?
(a) He nicked himself shaving.
(b) He was picking his nose.
(c) He had tortoise shell glasses.
(d) He wore a Yankees hat.

7. Who is the camp leader who facilitates the boys' getting on the camp bus?
(a) Captain Carlson.
(b) Captain Courageous.
(c) Captain Crabtree.
(d) Captain Cranky.

8. What is the narrator's favorite snack?
(a) Cheetos.
(b) Fig Newtons.
(c) Oreos.
(d) Doritos.

9. To the narrator, New Jersey symbolizes ___________________.
(a) white trash culture.
(b) elegant culture.
(c) primitive culture.
(d) American culture.

10. The narrator and his friends have a contest of eating _____________ laxatives.
(a) Miralax.
(b) Ex-Lax.
(c) Correctol.
(d) Boomo-Lax.

11. What does Kissel make in leathercraft?
(a) A shoulder holster for his father's bourbon bottle.
(b) A batting glove.
(c) A belt.
(d) A wallet.

12. What does the narrator think is a true Utopia?
(a) Childhood.
(b) Prayer.
(c) Sleep.
(d) Vacation.

13. What happened to the narrator on the previous day while traveling?
(a) He had a flat tire.
(b) He ran out of gas.
(c) He was tailgated by another driver.
(d) He hit a fire hydrant.

14. What name does the narrator say to call him even though it is not his real name?
(a) Max.
(b) Dave.
(c) Bill.
(d) Joe.

15. From what city does the summer camp bus depart?
(a) Detroit.
(b) Chicago.
(c) Toledo.
(d) Milwaukee.

Short Answer Questions

1. Kissel thinks that the emblem on the Beavers' jackets looks like a squirrel holding _________________.

2. What does Lieutenant Cherry warn the men about not doing so the locals won't come after them with guns?

3. Why does Colonel Bullard berate the boys of the Mole Lodge?

4. Who was the intellectual in the narrator's army company?

5. How long is the bus drive to camp?

(see the answer keys)

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