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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What was the narrator's mother cooking for dinner?
(a) Meatloaf.
(b) Lasagna.
(c) Fajitas.
(d) Tuna and noodles.

2. What item in the catalog would appeal to the violent?
(a) Chalk.
(b) Fake teeth.
(c) Brass knuckles.
(d) Jump ropes.

3. How does the narrator characterize himself?
(a) Self-confident.
(b) Aggressive.
(c) Self-defeating.
(d) Brilliant.

4. Who does the narrator mention as a negative part of Van Culture?
(a) Ted Bundy.
(b) Charles Manson.
(c) Jeffrey Dahmer.
(d) The BTK killer.

5. What is one of the "get rich quick" products in the catalog?
(a) Mink farms.
(b) Candy cookers.
(c) Envelope stuffing.
(d) Mushroom gardens.

6. According to the narrator, how do Van people drive?
(a) With abandon.
(b) Slowly.
(c) Very restrained.
(d) Recklessly.

7. For what type of firm did Howard work?
(a) Investment.
(b) Accounting.
(c) Public Relations.
(d) Law.

8. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) mating rituals.
(b) schizophrenic behavior.
(c) intergalactic communication.
(d) tribal worship.

9. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?
(a) Air raid drills.
(b) Being called on.
(c) Fire drills.
(d) Thunderstorms.

10. For the most part, Camper people are _________________.
(a) Environmentalists.
(b) Unaware of other drivers.
(c) Former school teachers.
(d) History buffs.

11. What does the narrator especially appreciate about the catalog?
(a) The prices.
(b) The b&w illustrations.
(c) The free shipping.
(d) The chatty captions.

12. What does the narrator ruminate on as he sits in the tunnel?
(a) The unknowability of God.
(b) The meaning of life.
(c) Politics.
(d) His crazy relatives.

13. What item is marketed to both cyclists and ladies in the Johnson Smith catalog?
(a) Pedal pushers.
(b) Sunglasses.
(c) Revolvers.
(d) Picnic baskets.

14. The narrator finds that Van people and Camper people are all ________________.
(a) Smug.
(b) Comedians.
(c) Retired.
(d) Criminals.

15. Which animals stun the archaeologists in the commercials?
(a) Frogs.
(b) Horses.
(c) Cows.
(d) Cats.

Short Answer Questions

1. What was the name of the General Motors magazine for which the narrator wrote an article?

2. What was the name of the corporate-owned ice cream parlor that moved into town?

3. What caught on fire in the Kissell household?

4. What might be a typical soap item disguised as something else in the catalog?

5. In what class did the narrator's back row fakery defenses not work?

(see the answer keys)

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