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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Ironically, the happy, family, outdoorsy vehicle known as the camper is now used by the Mafia as ____________________________.
(a) A gun shop.
(b) A liquor store.
(c) A drug den.
(d) A whorehouse.

2. Boys would order books recounting stories of ______________ from the Johnson Smith catalog.
(a) stamp collecting.
(b) the Underground Railroad.
(c) white slavery.
(d) woodworking.

3. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?
(a) It was run over by a car.
(b) It blew away.
(c) It was shredded.
(d) His name was misspelled.

4. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.
(a) Soccer moms.
(b) Bearded hippies.
(c) Conformists.
(d) Teenagers.

5. How did the Igloo finally win the ice cream war?
(a) Put a cherry on top of everything.
(b) Added 20 new flavors.
(c) Started offering sandwiches too.
(d) Gave ice cream for free.

6. What was the narrator's first class in high school?
(a) Biology.
(b) Physics.
(c) Latin.
(d) Algebra.

7. Sitting in his car, the narrator thinks about all the expressions about ___________ in the English language.
(a) The weather.
(b) Politics.
(c) Horses.
(d) Money.

8. When the narrator imagines a future archaeological dig at a lost city, what does he think the rediscovered city will be called?
(a) Big Sky.
(b) Big Apple.
(c) Big Easy.
(d) Big Nothing.

9. What might the archaeologists think the car is used for in a Chevrolet commercial?
(a) A residence.
(b) A cafe.
(c) A school.
(d) A church.

10. What was the name of the corporate-owned ice cream parlor that moved into town?
(a) The Happy Cow.
(b) Mooooore's Ice Cream.
(c) Moovelous Ice Cream.
(d) The Big Swirl.

11. What item in the catalog would appeal to the violent?
(a) Chalk.
(b) Brass knuckles.
(c) Jump ropes.
(d) Fake teeth.

12. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?
(a) Mr. McGregor.
(b) Mr. Rogers.
(c) Mr. Winston.
(d) Mr. Whipple.

13. What is sprinkled throughout the catalog?
(a) Order forms.
(b) Testimonials.
(c) Jokes.
(d) 800 numbers.

14. What did the narrator's father do first when he came home from work?
(a) Kissed his wife.
(b) Took a nap.
(c) Got a beer.
(d) Took a shower.

15. The narrator compares Van Culture with the ___________________.
(a) Cycle Crowd.
(b) Camper Crowd.
(c) Station Wagon Set.
(d) Sedan Set.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to the narrator, how do Camper people drive?

2. What local landmark did the narrator see when returning to his hometown?

3. What item is marketed to both cyclists and ladies in the Johnson Smith catalog?

4. According to Howard, what are the BNAs?

5. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?

(see the answer keys)

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