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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?
(a) Vans are electric.
(b) Vans are big polluters.
(c) Vans run on ethanol.
(d) Vans are all diesel.

2. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?
(a) It was run over by a car.
(b) It was shredded.
(c) His name was misspelled.
(d) It blew away.

3. According to the narrator, Camper people are ____________________.
(a) Politically conservative.
(b) Corporate CEOs.
(c) High school dropouts.
(d) College professors.

4. What kind of car did the narrator's family have?
(a) Ford.
(b) Buick.
(c) Pontiac.
(d) Chevy.

5. The narrator gives an imaginary lecture on ____________________.
(a) Car culture.
(b) Baseball.
(c) Electronics.
(d) Art history.

6. What does the narrator ruminate on as he sits in the tunnel?
(a) The meaning of life.
(b) The unknowability of God.
(c) His crazy relatives.
(d) Politics.

7. What was the narrator's first class in high school?
(a) Biology.
(b) Algebra.
(c) Latin.
(d) Physics.

8. Why was the narrator always seated at the back of the class?
(a) He has perfect eyesight and can see the board from there.
(b) His last name is near the end of the alphabet.
(c) He is not a troublemaker.
(d) He is one of the tallest kids in class.

9. Who was the owner of the Igloo ice cream shop?
(a) Mr. Larson.
(b) Mr. Leggett.
(c) Mr. Hall.
(d) Mr. Levine.

10. The archaeologists may think that Colonel Sanders is a ________________.
(a) guru.
(b) shaman.
(c) military officer.
(d) priest.

11. The term "lemon" when used to refer to a bad car began with a man who lost a race in ____________ in 1903.
(a) Kalamazoo, Michigan.
(b) Chicago, Illinois.
(c) Knoxville, Tennessee.
(d) Orlando, Florida.

12. Why did Howard want to sell his car?
(a) He got a new car every two years.
(b) It was a lemon.
(c) It was breaking down a lot.
(d) He needed a station wagon for the family.

13. How did the narrator arrive at the correct answer to the equation in front of the Algebra class?
(a) Inspiration.
(b) Cheating.
(c) Wild guess.
(d) Computation.

14. In what class did the narrator's back row fakery defenses not work?
(a) English.
(b) Algebra.
(c) History.
(d) Chemistry.

15. What was the title of the article that the narrator wrote for the GM magazine?
(a) Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
(b) Tire Tracks Across America.
(c) Lemons on the Grass, Alas.
(d) Convertible Days and Nights.

Short Answer Questions

1. What sport does the narrator recall playing with his friends?

2. Which animals stun the archaeologists in the commercials?

3. What mantra did the narrator develop in class?

4. Who does the narrator say are not heroes anymore?

5. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?

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