View a FREE sample

This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the narrator especially appreciate about the catalog?
(a) The free shipping.
(b) The chatty captions.
(c) The b&w illustrations.
(d) The prices.

2. What is sprinkled throughout the catalog?
(a) 800 numbers.
(b) Order forms.
(c) Testimonials.
(d) Jokes.

3. When the narrator imagines a future archaeological dig at a lost city, what does he think the rediscovered city will be called?
(a) Big Easy.
(b) Big Sky.
(c) Big Apple.
(d) Big Nothing.

4. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.
(a) Soccer moms.
(b) Conformists.
(c) Teenagers.
(d) Bearded hippies.

5. In what class did the narrator's back row fakery defenses not work?
(a) Algebra.
(b) English.
(c) History.
(d) Chemistry.

6. Boys would order books recounting stories of ______________ from the Johnson Smith catalog.
(a) woodworking.
(b) stamp collecting.
(c) the Underground Railroad.
(d) white slavery.

7. The archaeologists may think that a dog in a commercial is a __________________.
(a) food source.
(b) higher, sentient species.
(c) psychic.
(d) god.

8. What mantra did the narrator develop in class?
(a) You don't see me.
(b) Don't call on me.
(c) I'm not the one you want.
(d) I'm not here.

9. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) mating rituals.
(b) schizophrenic behavior.
(c) tribal worship.
(d) intergalactic communication.

10. What was the narrator's first class in high school?
(a) Physics.
(b) Biology.
(c) Latin.
(d) Algebra.

11. What did Howard publish on behalf of his client, the National Lemon Growers Association?
(a) A Guide to Using Lemon for Household Tasks.
(b) A Lemon Lovers' Cookbook.
(c) The History of the Lemon.
(d) A Lemon Jokebook.

12. What was the narrator's mother cooking for dinner?
(a) Fajitas.
(b) Meatloaf.
(c) Lasagna.
(d) Tuna and noodles.

13. Who does the narrator say are not heroes anymore?
(a) Teachers.
(b) Ministers.
(c) Fathers.
(d) Working men.

14. What disturbing information did the groundskeeper at the park tell the boys?
(a) The water from the spigot was unfiltered river water.
(b) The won't be getting lights for the baseball diamond.
(c) A dead body was found in the park.
(d) The park will be closed for the rest of the summer.

15. According to the narrator, how do Van people drive?
(a) Slowly.
(b) Very restrained.
(c) Recklessly.
(d) With abandon.

Short Answer Questions

1. How did the narrator manage to escape taking the final Algebra exam?

2. How does the narrator characterize himself?

3. Why might the films found on Madison Ave. lead the archaeologists to think they are scriptures?

4. The narrator compares Van Culture with the ___________________.

5. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?

(see the answer keys)

This section contains 455 words (approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page) View a FREE sample