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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) intergalactic communication.
(b) tribal worship.
(c) schizophrenic behavior.
(d) mating rituals.

2. The archaeologists will probably think that TV commercials are some form of ______________.
(a) Communism.
(b) Pornography.
(c) Mating ritual.
(d) Religion.

3. What does the narrator speculate that the archaeologists will find in the city?
(a) Laptops.
(b) iPods.
(c) TV commercials.
(d) Minivans.

4. What prank does the narrator consider doing in the Lincoln Tunnel?
(a)
(b) Painting a fake crack on the wall.
(c) Raising the toll to $100 on the signs.
(d) Sealing off the exit.

5. What local landmark did the narrator see when returning to his hometown?
(a) Little League diamonds.
(b) Maid-Rite sandwich shop.
(c) Yankee soldier statue.
(d) Igloo ice cream parlor.

6. For the most part, Camper people are _________________.
(a) History buffs.
(b) Unaware of other drivers.
(c) Environmentalists.
(d) Former school teachers.

7. What mantra did the narrator develop in class?
(a) I'm not the one you want.
(b) You don't see me.
(c) Don't call on me.
(d) I'm not here.

8. What is the narrator's brother's name?
(a) Ray.
(b) Ricky.
(c) Randy.
(d) Jimmy.

9. How does the narrator characterize himself?
(a) Aggressive.
(b) Brilliant.
(c) Self-confident.
(d) Self-defeating.

10. The archaeologists may think that a dog in a commercial is a __________________.
(a) food source.
(b) psychic.
(c) higher, sentient species.
(d) god.

11. What was the title of the article that the narrator wrote for the GM magazine?
(a) Convertible Days and Nights.
(b) Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
(c) Tire Tracks Across America.
(d) Lemons on the Grass, Alas.

12. Sitting in his car, the narrator thinks about all the expressions about ___________ in the English language.
(a) Money.
(b) Politics.
(c) The weather.
(d) Horses.

13. What item is marketed to both cyclists and ladies in the Johnson Smith catalog?
(a) Sunglasses.
(b) Pedal pushers.
(c) Picnic baskets.
(d) Revolvers.

14. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?
(a) Cows tip over easily.
(b) Bolivia exports tin.
(c) Mushrooms grow only at night.
(d) Owls never sleep.

15. How did the narrator arrive at the correct answer to the equation in front of the Algebra class?
(a) Wild guess.
(b) Inspiration.
(c) Cheating.
(d) Computation.

Short Answer Questions

1. What might the archaeologists think about people squeezing rolls of Charmin bathroom tissue?

2. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?

3. What does the narrator ruminate on as he sits in the tunnel?

4. What is the picture on the side of the bus that stops beside the narrator?

5. Where did the narrator meet his friend, Howard, for lunch?

(see the answer keys)

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