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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to the narrator, how do Camper people drive?
(a) Very slowly.
(b) Randomly.
(c) Carelessly.
(d) Sporadically.

2. According to the narrator, Camper people are ____________________.
(a) Corporate CEOs.
(b) Politically conservative.
(c) College professors.
(d) High school dropouts.

3. What was the narrator's mother cooking for dinner?
(a) Lasagna.
(b) Meatloaf.
(c) Fajitas.
(d) Tuna and noodles.

4. What mantra did the narrator develop in class?
(a) You don't see me.
(b) I'm not here.
(c) I'm not the one you want.
(d) Don't call on me.

5. For what type of firm did Howard work?
(a) Accounting.
(b) Public Relations.
(c) Investment.
(d) Law.

6. The narrator gives an imaginary lecture on ____________________.
(a) Art history.
(b) Electronics.
(c) Baseball.
(d) Car culture.

7. The archaeologists may think that Colonel Sanders is a ________________.
(a) priest.
(b) military officer.
(c) shaman.
(d) guru.

8. How is the Johnson Smith catalog distributed?
(a) Boy Scout meetings.
(b) Store pick-up.
(c) Mail.
(d) Online.

9. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?
(a) His name was misspelled.
(b) It blew away.
(c) It was shredded.
(d) It was run over by a car.

10. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?
(a) Being called on.
(b) Thunderstorms.
(c) Fire drills.
(d) Air raid drills.

11. What might be a typical correspondence course offered through the catalog?
(a) Ukelele lessons.
(b) Typing lessons.
(c) Knitting lessons.
(d) Cooking lessons.

12. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?
(a) Mr. McGregor.
(b) Mr. Rogers.
(c) Mr. Winston.
(d) Mr. Whipple.

13. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) intergalactic communication.
(b) tribal worship.
(c) schizophrenic behavior.
(d) mating rituals.

14. Two words likely to be found on the bumper stickers of vans are love and ____________.
(a) Peace.
(b) Freedom.
(c) Harmony.
(d) Revolution.

15. What was the name of the corporate-owned ice cream parlor that moved into town?
(a) Moovelous Ice Cream.
(b) The Big Swirl.
(c) Mooooore's Ice Cream.
(d) The Happy Cow.

Short Answer Questions

1. What disturbing information did the groundskeeper at the park tell the boys?

2. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?

3. Sitting in his car, the narrator thinks about all the expressions about ___________ in the English language.

4. How did the narrator manage to escape taking the final Algebra exam?

5. What local landmark did the narrator see when returning to his hometown?

(see the answer keys)

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