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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is masked as a cigar in the catalog?
(a) A flashlight.
(b) A kaleidoscope.
(c) A lighter.
(d) A flask.

2. According to Howard, what are the BNAs?
(a) Big Network Accounts.
(b) Bananas, Nectarines and Apples.
(c) Bad News Accounts.
(d) Banking News Associations.

3. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?
(a) Owls never sleep.
(b) Bolivia exports tin.
(c) Cows tip over easily.
(d) Mushrooms grow only at night.

4. What caught on fire in the Kissell household?
(a) The cat.
(b) The electric blanket.
(c) The refrigerator.
(d) The TV.

5. Who does the narrator mention as a negative part of Van Culture?
(a) Jeffrey Dahmer.
(b) Charles Manson.
(c) Ted Bundy.
(d) The BTK killer.

6. The narrator recalls sitting in a class taught by _______________.
(a) Mr. Pearson.
(b) Miss Peterson.
(c) Mr. Pittinger.
(d) Mrs. Piedmont.

7. For what type of firm did Howard work?
(a) Investment.
(b) Law.
(c) Accounting.
(d) Public Relations.

8. The archaeologists may think that Colonel Sanders is a ________________.
(a) military officer.
(b) priest.
(c) guru.
(d) shaman.

9. Who does the narrator say are not heroes anymore?
(a) Teachers.
(b) Ministers.
(c) Fathers.
(d) Working men.

10. What did Howard publish on behalf of his client, the National Lemon Growers Association?
(a) A Lemon Lovers' Cookbook.
(b) A Guide to Using Lemon for Household Tasks.
(c) A Lemon Jokebook.
(d) The History of the Lemon.

11. Why was the narrator always seated at the back of the class?
(a) He has perfect eyesight and can see the board from there.
(b) He is one of the tallest kids in class.
(c) He is not a troublemaker.
(d) His last name is near the end of the alphabet.

12. What is the narrator's brother's name?
(a) Jimmy.
(b) Randy.
(c) Ray.
(d) Ricky.

13. What did the narrator's father do first when he came home from work?
(a) Took a shower.
(b) Kissed his wife.
(c) Got a beer.
(d) Took a nap.

14. What was the name of the General Motors magazine for which the narrator wrote an article?
(a) Friends.
(b) Generalities.
(c) On the Move.
(d) Highways.

15. What is one of the "get rich quick" products in the catalog?
(a) Mink farms.
(b) Mushroom gardens.
(c) Candy cookers.
(d) Envelope stuffing.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to the narrator, Camper people are ____________________.

2. What might be an item found in the Johnson Smith catalog?

3. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.

4. Sitting in his car, the narrator thinks about all the expressions about ___________ in the English language.

5. What is the picture on the side of the bus that stops beside the narrator?

(see the answer keys)

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