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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What caught on fire in the Kissell household?
(a) The cat.
(b) The TV.
(c) The refrigerator.
(d) The electric blanket.

2. What is sprinkled throughout the catalog?
(a) 800 numbers.
(b) Order forms.
(c) Jokes.
(d) Testimonials.

3. The term "lemon" when used to refer to a bad car began with a man who lost a race in ____________ in 1903.
(a) Orlando, Florida.
(b) Chicago, Illinois.
(c) Knoxville, Tennessee.
(d) Kalamazoo, Michigan.

4. The archaeologists will probably think that TV commercials are some form of ______________.
(a) Pornography.
(b) Communism.
(c) Mating ritual.
(d) Religion.

5. What might be a typical soap item disguised as something else in the catalog?
(a) Light bulb.
(b) Key.
(c) Glasses.
(d) Gumdrops.

6. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?
(a) Bolivia exports tin.
(b) Cows tip over easily.
(c) Mushrooms grow only at night.
(d) Owls never sleep.

7. What was the title of the article that the narrator wrote for the GM magazine?
(a) Tire Tracks Across America.
(b) Lemons on the Grass, Alas.
(c) Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
(d) Convertible Days and Nights.

8. What did Howard publish on behalf of his client, the National Lemon Growers Association?
(a) A Lemon Lovers' Cookbook.
(b) A Guide to Using Lemon for Household Tasks.
(c) The History of the Lemon.
(d) A Lemon Jokebook.

9. According to the narrator, how do Camper people drive?
(a) Very slowly.
(b) Sporadically.
(c) Randomly.
(d) Carelessly.

10. Why was the narrator always seated at the back of the class?
(a) He has perfect eyesight and can see the board from there.
(b) He is not a troublemaker.
(c) He is one of the tallest kids in class.
(d) His last name is near the end of the alphabet.

11. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.
(a) Soccer moms.
(b) Teenagers.
(c) Conformists.
(d) Bearded hippies.

12. What is the narrator's most common position in life?
(a) Observer.
(b) Visionary.
(c) Tactician.
(d) Strategist.

13. What might the archaeologists think the car is used for in a Chevrolet commercial?
(a) A residence.
(b) A cafe.
(c) A church.
(d) A school.

14. What might be a typical correspondence course offered through the catalog?
(a) Cooking lessons.
(b) Typing lessons.
(c) Knitting lessons.
(d) Ukelele lessons.

15. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?
(a) Vans are big polluters.
(b) Vans are electric.
(c) Vans run on ethanol.
(d) Vans are all diesel.

Short Answer Questions

1. Two words likely to be found on the bumper stickers of vans are love and ____________.

2. What does the narrator especially appreciate about the catalog?

3. Where did the narrator meet his friend, Howard, for lunch?

4. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?

5. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?

(see the answer keys)

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