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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to Howard, what are the BNAs?
(a) Banking News Associations.
(b) Big Network Accounts.
(c) Bad News Accounts.
(d) Bananas, Nectarines and Apples.

2. According to the narrator, how do Camper people drive?
(a) Randomly.
(b) Sporadically.
(c) Very slowly.
(d) Carelessly.

3. Of what do the kids at the back of the class live in fear?
(a) Thunderstorms.
(b) Fire drills.
(c) Being called on.
(d) Air raid drills.

4. The narrator finds that Van people and Camper people are all ________________.
(a) Comedians.
(b) Retired.
(c) Criminals.
(d) Smug.

5. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?
(a) It blew away.
(b) His name was misspelled.
(c) It was run over by a car.
(d) It was shredded.

6. How is the Johnson Smith catalog distributed?
(a) Store pick-up.
(b) Boy Scout meetings.
(c) Mail.
(d) Online.

7. What is masked as a cigar in the catalog?
(a) A lighter.
(b) A flask.
(c) A kaleidoscope.
(d) A flashlight.

8. Who does the narrator say are not heroes anymore?
(a) Working men.
(b) Teachers.
(c) Fathers.
(d) Ministers.

9. What might the archaeologists think the car is used for in a Chevrolet commercial?
(a) A residence.
(b) A school.
(c) A cafe.
(d) A church.

10. What was the name of the corporate-owned ice cream parlor that moved into town?
(a) Moovelous Ice Cream.
(b) The Happy Cow.
(c) The Big Swirl.
(d) Mooooore's Ice Cream.

11. What does the narrator speculate that the archaeologists will find in the city?
(a) TV commercials.
(b) iPods.
(c) Minivans.
(d) Laptops.

12. How did the Igloo finally win the ice cream war?
(a) Added 20 new flavors.
(b) Started offering sandwiches too.
(c) Gave ice cream for free.
(d) Put a cherry on top of everything.

13. The archaeologists will probably think that TV commercials are some form of ______________.
(a) Mating ritual.
(b) Communism.
(c) Pornography.
(d) Religion.

14. What was the narrator's first class in high school?
(a) Physics.
(b) Biology.
(c) Latin.
(d) Algebra.

15. What is one of the "get rich quick" products in the catalog?
(a) Mushroom gardens.
(b) Candy cookers.
(c) Mink farms.
(d) Envelope stuffing.

Short Answer Questions

1. The narrator recalls sitting in a class taught by _______________.

2. What sport does the narrator recall playing with his friends?

3. How does the narrator characterize himself?

4. Boys would order books recounting stories of ______________ from the Johnson Smith catalog.

5. According to the narrator, Camper people are ____________________.

(see the answer keys)

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