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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What might be a typical correspondence course offered through the catalog?
(a) Ukelele lessons.
(b) Knitting lessons.
(c) Cooking lessons.
(d) Typing lessons.

2. The archaeologists may think that Colonel Sanders is a ________________.
(a) military officer.
(b) priest.
(c) shaman.
(d) guru.

3. What was the narrator's mother cooking for dinner?
(a) Lasagna.
(b) Fajitas.
(c) Meatloaf.
(d) Tuna and noodles.

4. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) intergalactic communication.
(b) schizophrenic behavior.
(c) mating rituals.
(d) tribal worship.

5. What does the narrator ruminate on as he sits in the tunnel?
(a) The meaning of life.
(b) Politics.
(c) The unknowability of God.
(d) His crazy relatives.

6. According to Howard, what are the BNAs?
(a) Big Network Accounts.
(b) Bananas, Nectarines and Apples.
(c) Bad News Accounts.
(d) Banking News Associations.

7. Why might the films found on Madison Ave. lead the archaeologists to think they are scriptures?
(a) They are altering belief systems.
(b) There are so many people represented in them.
(c) The word Ave in Latin means prayer.
(d) The announcer's voices sound like God.

8. What did Flick say that his grandfather drank to cure a cold?
(a) Lemon juice.
(b) Paint thinner.
(c) Kerosene.
(d) Whiskey.

9. What did Howard publish on behalf of his client, the National Lemon Growers Association?
(a) A Lemon Lovers' Cookbook.
(b) A Guide to Using Lemon for Household Tasks.
(c) A Lemon Jokebook.
(d) The History of the Lemon.

10. What was the title of the article that the narrator wrote for the GM magazine?
(a) Convertible Days and Nights.
(b) Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
(c) Lemons on the Grass, Alas.
(d) Tire Tracks Across America.

11. In what class did the narrator's back row fakery defenses not work?
(a) History.
(b) Chemistry.
(c) Algebra.
(d) English.

12. What caught on fire in the Kissell household?
(a) The cat.
(b) The electric blanket.
(c) The TV.
(d) The refrigerator.

13. How did the narrator manage to escape taking the final Algebra exam?
(a) He got mono and was in the hospital.
(b) He solved an equation in front of the class.
(c) He tested out of taking the exam.
(d) He transferred to another school.

14. What might the archaeologists think about people squeezing rolls of Charmin bathroom tissue?
(a) They use the white rolls for communication.
(b) They are skeptical of the white rolls.
(c) They worship the white rolls.
(d) They love the white rolls.

15. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.
(a) Teenagers.
(b) Bearded hippies.
(c) Conformists.
(d) Soccer moms.

Short Answer Questions

1. The narrator compares Van Culture with the ___________________.

2. Ironically, the happy, family, outdoorsy vehicle known as the camper is now used by the Mafia as ____________________________.

3. What local landmark did the narrator see when returning to his hometown?

4. Who does the narrator say are not heroes anymore?

5. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?

(see the answer keys)

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