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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What would the King do to the girls after he was done with them?
(a) He would hit them in the head with a ball-peen hammer.
(b) He would arrest them and throw them in jail.
(c) He would erase their memories.
(d) He would give them money and send them on their way.

2. To what does Bernie compare the less fit girl at the beach?
(a) A giraffe.
(b) A pig.
(c) An elephant.
(d) A puppy.

3. What is one reason Bernie is upset about the amendment?
(a) He feels the amendment is sloppy and poorly worded.
(b) He feels no one has ever written a special amendment for him.
(c) He feels the amendment is unnecessary, as he has the greatest respect for women.
(d) He feels the amendment is unconstitutional.

4. How does Joan offer to solve the problem of keeping their jointly-bought television?
(a) She tells Deborah to take it with her.
(b) She offers to sell it to Bernie.
(c) She offers to throw it out the window.
(d) She offers to write Deborah a check for her half.

5. What are Deborah and Joan talking about in their apartment?
(a) Men.
(b) Finance.
(c) Mexico.
(d) Shoes.

6. When they make love, what does Deborah fantasize about?
(a) Bernie.
(b) Other women.
(c) Joan.
(d) Celebrities.

7. What does Danny want Deborah to tell him?
(a) He wants her to tell him the truth about Joan.
(b) He wants her to tell him the truth about karma.
(c) He wants her to tell him the truth about Bernie.
(d) He wants her to tell him the truth about everything.

8. Where did Bernie and the girl meet?
(a) At Daly's.
(b) At Commonwealth.
(c) At Grunts.
(d) At Yak-Zies.

9. Who is Bernie telling his dog story to?
(a) Someone on the phone.
(b) Deborah.
(c) Joan.
(d) Danny.

10. What do Bernie and Danny think the woman is doing on the beach?
(a) They think she is husband hunting.
(b) They think she is a lifeguard.
(c) They think she is flaunting herself.
(d) They think she is exercising.

11. What does Bernie claim an old girlfriend wanted him to do with a bicycle chain?
(a) She wanted him to sell the chain.
(b) She wanted him to chain her hands together.
(c) She wanted him to lock her bicycle up for her.
(d) She wanted him to lock her to the radiator.

12. Why does the girl invite Bernie to her room?
(a) She wants to pay him back for the cigarettes.
(b) She wants to show him a book she is reading.
(c) He threatens her with a gun.
(d) He has been locked out of his own room.

13. What does Joan do for a living?
(a) She is a kindergarten teacher.
(b) She is an Assistant Office Manager.
(c) She is an accountant.
(d) She is a lawyer.

14. Where do Bernie and Danny go, presumably to make Danny feel better about his relationship?
(a) To a man-to-man dinner.
(b) To a strip club.
(c) To a pornographic movie theater.
(d) To the theatre.

15. Does Bernie approve of Danny's relationship with Deborah?
(a) No, and he is being hostile toward her.
(b) No, but he is acting like he does.
(c) Yes, but he is in love with her.
(d) Yes, but he is acting like he does not.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who does Bernie think is working behind the game counter?

2. What does Danny do for work?

3. What is the one thing Deborah really wants Danny to talk to her about?

4. What clothing item causes a fight between Danny and Deborah?

5. What does Bernie tell Joan he does for a living?

(see the answer keys)

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