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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. While moving out, what needs to be separated between Joan and Deborah?
(a) The book collection.
(b) The music collection.
(c) The cereal.
(d) The clothes.

2. Who does Danny insult as he and Deborah split up their belongings?
(a) Bernie and Joan.
(b) Himself.
(c) Joan and Deborah.
(d) Deborah's mother.

3. What type of cigarettes does the girl purchase?
(a) American Spirits.
(b) Camels.
(c) Viceroys.
(d) Marlboros.

4. In what year does the play take place?
(a) 1999.
(b) 1976.
(c) 1985.
(d) 2001.

5. How long does Joan think it will take for Deborah's and Danny's relationship to end?
(a) One week.
(b) Two months.
(c) Six months.
(d) Three weeks.

6. How does Bernie think he can attract women?
(a) By buying a new car.
(b) By bringing them flowers.
(c) By treating them badly.
(d) By wearing cologne.

7. Who is Bernie telling his dog story to?
(a) Deborah.
(b) Joan.
(c) Danny.
(d) Someone on the phone.

8. Where did Bernie and the girl meet?
(a) At Yak-Zies.
(b) At Commonwealth.
(c) At Grunts.
(d) At Daly's.

9. How long does Danny claim they have been fighting?
(a) Three days.
(b) Twelve hours.
(c) Fifteen minutes.
(d) Three hours.

10. What, while Deborah has been at Danny's, does Joan claim has died?
(a) Deborah's dog.
(b) Deborah's cat.
(c) Deborah's plants.
(d) Deborah's fish.

11. What trick does Bernie think the pornographic movie is using to prolong the action?
(a) He thinks they study karma sutra.
(b) He thinks it is a computer generated image.
(c) He thinks they change actors.
(d) He thinks they change the camera angles.

12. What does Danny think the incident may have done to Bernie?
(a) It may have sparked his alcoholism.
(b) It may have damaged him as a human being.
(c) It may have caused his separation anxiety.
(d) It may have attributed to his homosexual tendencies.

13. Where do Bernie and Danny go, presumably to make Danny feel better about his relationship?
(a) To the theatre.
(b) To a man-to-man dinner.
(c) To a pornographic movie theater.
(d) To a strip club.

14. What does Bernie throw at the girl after hitting her with the towel?
(a) A GE clock radio.
(b) A pillow.
(c) A medicine ball.
(d) A monkey wrench.

15. What aspects of Joan and Deborah does Danny attack?
(a) He attacks their taste in music.
(b) He attacks their ability to make love.
(c) He attacks their sense of style.
(d) He attacks their emotional instability.

Short Answer Questions

1. What story does Joan read to her class?

2. Do Joan and Danny get along?

3. To what does Bernie compare the less fit girl at the beach?

4. How old is Deborah?

5. What does the girl pull out from under her bed?

(see the answer keys)

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