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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What did Ellen not like about her hospital gown?
(a) It opened in the back.
(b) It was pink.
(c) It made her look fat.
(d) It had bloood stains.

2. How does Ellen suggest one avoid having friends gossip?
(a) Stay in the room with friends at all times.
(b) Spread new rumors.
(c) Never do anything gossip worthy.
(d) Dump the friends.

3. How does Ellen feel about zoos?
(a) She does not like them.
(b) She loves them.
(c) All of these.
(d) She is confused by them.

4. What does Ellen say she thinks God might look like?
(a) An alien.
(b) A bear.
(c) An animal.
(d) A man.

5. What would Ellen answer to her more unique questions on her advice column?
(a) How should I know, Dummy?
(b) This is an answer you already know.
(c) Look it up.
(d) That's an anomaly.

6. What is Chapter 13 about?
(a) Reading.
(b) Feminism.
(c) Acting.
(d) Nothing.

7. Why does Ellen say it is silly to make up scary scenarios?
(a) Scary things happen in reality.
(b) It is easier said than done.
(c) Most things never come true.
(d) It makes her worry incessantly.

8. Why does Ellen say nobody ever sees us look like an idiot?
(a) They are not as judgmental as we think.
(b) They are too worried about someone noticing their idiotic act.
(c) We rarely do truly stupid things.
(d) All of these.

9. What does Ellen think was in her house when she wrote this book?
(a) Dust.
(b) A ghost.
(c) Strange spirits.
(d) Old messages.

10. What sign does Ellen say is not applicable to celebrities?
(a) ID Required.
(b) No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service.
(c) No Dogs Allowed.
(d) Cash Only.

11. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?
(a) They harmed animals.
(b) They helped animals.
(c) There were natural habitats created.
(d) They spread awareness.

12. What is one of Ellen's famous routines about religion?
(a) Child-Like Questions.
(b) Bible Stories Re-Told.
(c) Phone Call to God.
(d) Daily Prayers.

13. Who does Ellen say she blames when tripping on the sidewalk?
(a) Herself.
(b) Her partner.
(c) Her entourage.
(d) The sidewalk.

14. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?
(a) A drinking binge.
(b) A race to the podium.
(c) A testimony meeting.
(d) A dance competition.

15. What did Ellen create for people to talk to her?
(a) A contract.
(b) A punch line.
(c) A template.
(d) A treatise.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the title of Chapter 15?

2. What does Ellen say the last option was to do when stuck on an elevator?

3. What does Ellen not want to feel when in a sleeping bag?

4. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?

5. How was Ellen raised in regard to religion?

(see the answer keys)

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