View a FREE sample

This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Ellen imagine might happen when she washes out a wound?
(a) She would get infected.
(b) She would not notice things behind her.
(c) Sharks would circle.
(d) She would lose a limb.

2. What does Ellen say is the main difference between being a celebrity and being celibate?
(a) Celebrities are happy.
(b) Celebrities are not religious.
(c) Celebrities are never celibate.
(d) Celbrities can have sex.

3. How does Ellen say one should look when removing chewing gum from their mouth?
(a) Subtle.
(b) Sloppy.
(c) Happy.
(d) Demure.

4. What is one of Ellen's famous routines about religion?
(a) Phone Call to God.
(b) Bible Stories Re-Told.
(c) Daily Prayers.
(d) Child-Like Questions.

5. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?
(a) A race to the podium.
(b) A dance competition.
(c) A drinking binge.
(d) A testimony meeting.

6. What kind of testing is Ellen uncomfortable with?
(a) Urinalysis.
(b) Drug testing.
(c) Animal testing.
(d) Blood testing.

7. Why was Ellen surprised by the doctor's compliment at the ER?
(a) She hadn't given a urine sample.
(b) She hadn't had blood drawn.
(c) She had quit water.
(d) She was crying.

8. What does Ellen say the last option was to do when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Scream.
(b) Sing.
(c) Sleep.
(d) Faint.

9. How does Ellen suggest one avoid having friends gossip?
(a) Never do anything gossip worthy.
(b) Spread new rumors.
(c) Stay in the room with friends at all times.
(d) Dump the friends.

10. What does Ellen suggest counting when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Arm hairs.
(b) Seconds.
(c) Buttons.
(d) Carpet fibers.

11. How does Ellen say celebrities are spotted?
(a) They twinkle.
(b) The helicopters give them away.
(c) Their entourage gets attention.
(d) They put off a scent.

12. What is the Ellie Gellie?
(a) A song.
(b) A book.
(c) A dance.
(d) A joke.

13. Who does Ellen say she blames when tripping on the sidewalk?
(a) Her entourage.
(b) Herself.
(c) The sidewalk.
(d) Her partner.

14. What did Ellen used to want to be when she was growing up?
(a) A veterinarian.
(b) A comedian.
(c) An actress.
(d) A zoologist.

15. What does Ellen say she always does just after tripping?
(a) Laugh.
(b) Check for broken bones.
(c) Look around to see who saw.
(d) Lay there.

Short Answer Questions

1. What activity does Ellen not understand?

2. What did Ellen not like about her hospital gown?

3. Why is the 14th chapter left blank?

4. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?

5. How many times does Ellen say a celebrity vote is counted?

(see the answer keys)

This section contains 433 words (approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page) View a FREE sample