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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How does Ellen suggest one avoid having friends gossip?
(a) Dump the friends.
(b) Spread new rumors.
(c) Never do anything gossip worthy.
(d) Stay in the room with friends at all times.

2. How many points does a celebrity get for Z in scrabble?
(a) 10.
(b) 30.
(c) 20.
(d) 40.

3. What does Ellen do for stray dogs?
(a) Adopt them.
(b) Sell them.
(c) Take them to the vet.
(d) Take them to shelters.

4. What awards show did Ellen get asked about her advice column?
(a) The Emmy Awards.
(b) The Tony Awards.
(c) The Academy Awards.
(d) The Country Music Awards.

5. What did Ellen think when she saw a woman praying for two hours?
(a) She figured she had fallen asleep.
(b) She wanted her to stop to give others a chance.
(c) She envied her devotion.
(d) She thought she must have had a lot to repent of.

6. What would Ellen answer to her more unique questions on her advice column?
(a) How should I know, Dummy?
(b) Look it up.
(c) This is an answer you already know.
(d) That's an anomaly.

7. How does Ellen describe some of the more unique questions her advice column got?
(a) Silly.
(b) Necessary.
(c) Idiotic.
(d) Strange.

8. What does Ellen suggest counting when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Seconds.
(b) Buttons.
(c) Arm hairs.
(d) Carpet fibers.

9. What does Ellen say should never be put on dolphins?
(a) Paint.
(b) Glitter.
(c) Tutus.
(d) Hats.

10. What did Ellen say was happening if her ears were itching?
(a) Someone was thinking about her.
(b) Her ears were dirty.
(c) Someone was talking about her.
(d) She needed a new prescription.

11. What did Ellen have to describe at the hospital?
(a) Her insurance.
(b) Her symptoms.
(c) Her mother.
(d) Her experience.

12. What does Ellen talk about in Chapter 18?
(a) Laughing.
(b) Singing.
(c) Acting.
(d) Dancing.

13. Why does Ellen say nobody ever sees us look like an idiot?
(a) All of these.
(b) We rarely do truly stupid things.
(c) They are too worried about someone noticing their idiotic act.
(d) They are not as judgmental as we think.

14. What does Ellen imagine might happen when she washes out a wound?
(a) She would get infected.
(b) Sharks would circle.
(c) She would not notice things behind her.
(d) She would lose a limb.

15. What does Ellen say brings out the idiot in people?
(a) The car.
(b) The stair well.
(c) Airplanes.
(d) The elevator.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?

2. Why was Ellen surprised by the doctor's compliment at the ER?

3. What kind of tuna does Ellen eat?

4. Why does Ellen not write in detail about the Ellie Gellie?

5. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?

(see the answer keys)

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