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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Which appliance does Ellen suggest talking to?
(a) All of these.
(b) TV.
(c) Radio.
(d) Toaster.

2. What kind of pets other than dogs did Ellen have when she wrote this book?
(a) Fish.
(b) Hedgehogs.
(c) Ferrets.
(d) Cats.

3. What does Ellen say she thinks God might look like?
(a) An animal.
(b) An alien.
(c) A man.
(d) A bear.

4. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?
(a) Her editor.
(b) Her mother.
(c) Nobody.
(d) Herself.

5. What does Ellen say brings out the idiot in people?
(a) The stair well.
(b) The car.
(c) The elevator.
(d) Airplanes.

6. What does Ellen say would have made her rich in Chapter 25?
(a) Selling her book.
(b) Investing smartly.
(c) Following her mother's advice.
(d) Getting a nickel every time she was an idiot.

7. What does Ellen say there is no polite way of doing?
(a) Removing chewing gum from your mouth.
(b) Giving advice.
(c) Rejecting an advance.
(d) Side stepping a question.

8. What did Ellen think when she saw a woman praying for two hours?
(a) She wanted her to stop to give others a chance.
(b) She figured she had fallen asleep.
(c) She thought she must have had a lot to repent of.
(d) She envied her devotion.

9. Where was Ellen's hospital?
(a) Los Angeles.
(b) Beverly Hills.
(c) Fresno.
(d) Laurel Canyon.

10. What activity does Ellen not understand?
(a) Pole vaulting.
(b) Hunting.
(c) Skeet shooting.
(d) Archery.

11. What is the minimum number of Ellen's entourage?
(a) 25.
(b) 20.
(c) 15.
(d) 10.

12. What does Ellen say should never be put on dolphins?
(a) Tutus.
(b) Hats.
(c) Paint.
(d) Glitter.

13. How does Ellen say never to get out of a ticket?
(a) Pleading.
(b) Kissing.
(c) Bribing.
(d) Joking.

14. How does Ellen feel about zoos?
(a) She loves them.
(b) She does not like them.
(c) She is confused by them.
(d) All of these.

15. Why did Ellen end up in the ER?
(a) She was punched.
(b) She had a cyst.
(c) She fainted.
(d) She had gall stones.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the name of Chapter 20?

2. What does Ellen say the last option was to do when stuck on an elevator?

3. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?

4. What is the Ellie Gellie?

5. What did Ellen say would make all people hop around and scream?

(see the answer keys)

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