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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How does Ellen say never to get out of a ticket?
(a) Pleading.
(b) Kissing.
(c) Bribing.
(d) Joking.

2. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?
(a) Her editor.
(b) Her mother.
(c) Herself.
(d) Nobody.

3. What did Ellen once joke about having in her trunk?
(a) Gasoline.
(b) Immigrants.
(c) Drugs.
(d) Dead bodies.

4. What habit does Ellen call idiotic?
(a) Leaving lights on.
(b) Talking to herself.
(c) Picking at scabs.
(d) Overindulging pets.

5. How does Ellen describe some of the more unique questions her advice column got?
(a) Strange.
(b) Idiotic.
(c) Silly.
(d) Necessary.

6. What is Chapter 13 about?
(a) Feminism.
(b) Acting.
(c) Nothing.
(d) Reading.

7. Where does Ellen imagine playing frisbee?
(a) A field.
(b) The beach.
(c) A park.
(d) Her yard.

8. What group does Ellen say should always be rescued first off a sinking boat?
(a) Elderly.
(b) Celebrities.
(c) Children.
(d) Women.

9. How many times does Ellen say a celebrity vote is counted?
(a) Not at all.
(b) Twice.
(c) Four times.
(d) Three times.

10. What kind of pets other than dogs did Ellen have when she wrote this book?
(a) Ferrets.
(b) Fish.
(c) Hedgehogs.
(d) Cats.

11. What does Ellen think was in her house when she wrote this book?
(a) Dust.
(b) Strange spirits.
(c) A ghost.
(d) Old messages.

12. What does Ellen not want to feel when in a sleeping bag?
(a) A bug.
(b) A breeze.
(c) A shiver.
(d) A snake.

13. How many points does a celebrity get for Z in scrabble?
(a) 40.
(b) 30.
(c) 20.
(d) 10.

14. What does Ellen say she always does just after tripping?
(a) Look around to see who saw.
(b) Laugh.
(c) Check for broken bones.
(d) Lay there.

15. Who does Ellen say she blames when tripping on the sidewalk?
(a) Her partner.
(b) The sidewalk.
(c) Her entourage.
(d) Herself.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is one of Ellen's famous routines about religion?

2. What is the Ellie Gellie?

3. What does Ellen say is the main difference between being a celebrity and being celibate?

4. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?

5. Why does Ellen not write in detail about the Ellie Gellie?

(see the answer keys)

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