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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does Ellen say she blames when tripping on the sidewalk?
(a) The sidewalk.
(b) Herself.
(c) Her partner.
(d) Her entourage.

2. What does Ellen say there is no polite way of doing?
(a) Giving advice.
(b) Removing chewing gum from your mouth.
(c) Side stepping a question.
(d) Rejecting an advance.

3. What did Ellen think when she saw a woman praying for two hours?
(a) She figured she had fallen asleep.
(b) She thought she must have had a lot to repent of.
(c) She envied her devotion.
(d) She wanted her to stop to give others a chance.

4. How does Ellen suggest one avoid having friends gossip?
(a) Stay in the room with friends at all times.
(b) Never do anything gossip worthy.
(c) Spread new rumors.
(d) Dump the friends.

5. What kind of tuna does Ellen eat?
(a) Dolphin friendly tuna.
(b) Low fat tuna.
(c) Low sodium tuna.
(d) North Atlantic tuna.

6. What is the name of Chapter 20?
(a) The Wild Kingdom of Ellen.
(b) The Wild Days.
(c) My Wild Time.
(d) Ellen's Wild Kingdom.

7. What does Ellen suggest counting when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Seconds.
(b) Buttons.
(c) Carpet fibers.
(d) Arm hairs.

8. How does Ellen describe some of the more unique questions her advice column got?
(a) Strange.
(b) Silly.
(c) Necessary.
(d) Idiotic.

9. How does Ellen say never to get out of a ticket?
(a) Kissing.
(b) Joking.
(c) Pleading.
(d) Bribing.

10. What is Chapter 13 about?
(a) Acting.
(b) Reading.
(c) Feminism.
(d) Nothing.

11. How many times does Ellen say a celebrity vote is counted?
(a) Twice.
(b) Not at all.
(c) Three times.
(d) Four times.

12. How was Ellen raised in regard to religion?
(a) As a Baptist.
(b) As a Christian Scientist.
(c) As a believer with a mind.
(d) As an agnostic.

13. How does Ellen feel about zoos?
(a) All of these.
(b) She loves them.
(c) She does not like them.
(d) She is confused by them.

14. What does Ellen say the last option was to do when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Scream.
(b) Faint.
(c) Sleep.
(d) Sing.

15. What does Ellen imagine picking up instead of a frisbee?
(a) A bat.
(b) A cat.
(c) A rat.
(d) A hat.

Short Answer Questions

1. What did Ellen once joke about having in her trunk?

2. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?

3. What was Ellen's advice column called?

4. What does Ellen say should never be put on dolphins?

5. What does Ellen say would have made her rich in Chapter 25?

(see the answer keys)

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