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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What did Ellen not like about her hospital gown?
(a) It was pink.
(b) It had bloood stains.
(c) It made her look fat.
(d) It opened in the back.

2. What does Ellen talk about in Chapter 18?
(a) Singing.
(b) Acting.
(c) Dancing.
(d) Laughing.

3. What was Ellen's advice column called?
(a) Ask Ellen.
(b) Advice by Ellen.
(c) Ellen Can Help.
(d) Help Me Ellen, Help, Help Me Ellen.

4. Why does Ellen say it is silly to make up scary scenarios?
(a) Most things never come true.
(b) Scary things happen in reality.
(c) It makes her worry incessantly.
(d) It is easier said than done.

5. What happened when Ellen was trying to get help at the hospital?
(a) She was ignored.
(b) She was asked to perform.
(c) She was not believed.
(d) She was laughed at.

6. What feat of strength did Ellen joke about doing?
(a) Lifting a bull dog over her head.
(b) Holding a baby for 4 hours straight.
(c) Pulling a jeep with her teeth.
(d) Punching a hole in a wall.

7. Why is the 14th chapter left blank?
(a) She is making her book longer.
(b) She hates the number 14.
(c) She couldn't remember what she wanted to put there.
(d) So there will not be a 13th chapter.

8. How does Ellen define a celebrity?
(a) All of these.
(b) Someone who is easily recognized.
(c) Someone who is largely successful.
(d) Someone who has been on TV.

9. How does Ellen say celebrities are spotted?
(a) Their entourage gets attention.
(b) They put off a scent.
(c) They twinkle.
(d) The helicopters give them away.

10. What did Ellen think when she saw a woman praying for two hours?
(a) She thought she must have had a lot to repent of.
(b) She envied her devotion.
(c) She wanted her to stop to give others a chance.
(d) She figured she had fallen asleep.

11. What would Ellen answer to her more unique questions on her advice column?
(a) How should I know, Dummy?
(b) That's an anomaly.
(c) This is an answer you already know.
(d) Look it up.

12. What does Ellen say she thinks God might look like?
(a) A bear.
(b) An animal.
(c) An alien.
(d) A man.

13. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?
(a) They harmed animals.
(b) They spread awareness.
(c) There were natural habitats created.
(d) They helped animals.

14. What does Ellen's entourage have to do?
(a) Laugh at her jokes.
(b) Keep her happy.
(c) Compliment her.
(d) All of these.

15. What does Ellen say brings out the idiot in people?
(a) The stair well.
(b) Airplanes.
(c) The elevator.
(d) The car.

Short Answer Questions

1. How many points does Q get in Scrabble?

2. What does Ellen say should never be put on dolphins?

3. What kind of tuna does Ellen eat?

4. What does Ellen say there is no polite way of doing?

5. Why did Ellen tell everyone she ended up in the ER?

(see the answer keys)

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