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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What did Ellen used to want to be when she was growing up?
(a) A zoologist.
(b) A comedian.
(c) An actress.
(d) A veterinarian.

2. Why did Ellen tell everyone she ended up in the ER?
(a) She got injured doing feats of strength.
(b) She had gall stones.
(c) She had a cyst.
(d) She was attacked.

3. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?
(a) A drinking binge.
(b) A race to the podium.
(c) A dance competition.
(d) A testimony meeting.

4. What does Ellen not want to feel when in a sleeping bag?
(a) A bug.
(b) A shiver.
(c) A breeze.
(d) A snake.

5. What did Ellen not like about her hospital gown?
(a) It made her look fat.
(b) It had bloood stains.
(c) It opened in the back.
(d) It was pink.

6. What did Ellen say would make all people hop around and scream?
(a) Explaining how to dance.
(b) Hearing bad news.
(c) Sitting on a tack.
(d) Having a spider in their pants.

7. Where was Ellen's hospital?
(a) Beverly Hills.
(b) Fresno.
(c) Los Angeles.
(d) Laurel Canyon.

8. What happened when Ellen was trying to get help at the hospital?
(a) She was laughed at.
(b) She was asked to perform.
(c) She was ignored.
(d) She was not believed.

9. Who recognized Ellen at the ER?
(a) The orderly.
(b) The nurses.
(c) The doctor.
(d) The administrator.

10. What was Ellen asked to explain to an alien on her advice column?
(a) Chewing gum.
(b) Swimming pools.
(c) Baby diapers.
(d) Sushi.

11. What awards show did Ellen get asked about her advice column?
(a) The Emmy Awards.
(b) The Tony Awards.
(c) The Academy Awards.
(d) The Country Music Awards.

12. How does Ellen say never to get out of a ticket?
(a) Joking.
(b) Pleading.
(c) Bribing.
(d) Kissing.

13. How many points does a celebrity get for Z in scrabble?
(a) 30.
(b) 40.
(c) 10.
(d) 20.

14. What does Ellen imagine picking up instead of a frisbee?
(a) A hat.
(b) A bat.
(c) A cat.
(d) A rat.

15. Why is the 14th chapter left blank?
(a) She hates the number 14.
(b) She couldn't remember what she wanted to put there.
(c) She is making her book longer.
(d) So there will not be a 13th chapter.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is Ellen most grateful for in her life?

2. What did Ellen create for people to talk to her?

3. Why did Ellen end up in the ER?

4. What group does Ellen say should always be rescued first off a sinking boat?

5. How does Ellen feel about zoos?

(see the answer keys)

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