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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Ellen talk about in Chapter 18?
(a) Acting.
(b) Dancing.
(c) Laughing.
(d) Singing.

2. What did Ellen say was happening if her ears were itching?
(a) Someone was thinking about her.
(b) Her ears were dirty.
(c) She needed a new prescription.
(d) Someone was talking about her.

3. What does Ellen imagine might happen when she washes out a wound?
(a) Sharks would circle.
(b) She would not notice things behind her.
(c) She would lose a limb.
(d) She would get infected.

4. What does Ellen say her awards show would turn into?
(a) A drinking binge.
(b) A testimony meeting.
(c) A dance competition.
(d) A race to the podium.

5. How does Ellen say one should look when removing chewing gum from their mouth?
(a) Happy.
(b) Subtle.
(c) Sloppy.
(d) Demure.

6. What does Ellen say celebrities always win?
(a) Game shows.
(b) Arguments.
(c) Trials.
(d) Awards.

7. What does Ellen do for stray dogs?
(a) Take them to the vet.
(b) Sell them.
(c) Take them to shelters.
(d) Adopt them.

8. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?
(a) Nobody.
(b) Her mother.
(c) Her editor.
(d) Herself.

9. How does Ellen feel about zoos?
(a) She is confused by them.
(b) She does not like them.
(c) She loves them.
(d) All of these.

10. What subjects does Ellen say cosmetic companies should try their products on?
(a) Homeless people.
(b) Young teens.
(c) Themselves.
(d) Convicted murderers.

11. How did Ellen think she sounded when she sung in her head?
(a) Whitney Houston.
(b) Billy Joel.
(c) Sting.
(d) Billy Idol.

12. What does Ellen say she thinks God might look like?
(a) An alien.
(b) A man.
(c) An animal.
(d) A bear.

13. What does Ellen suggest counting when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Seconds.
(b) Arm hairs.
(c) Carpet fibers.
(d) Buttons.

14. Why did Ellen end up in the ER?
(a) She had a cyst.
(b) She was punched.
(c) She fainted.
(d) She had gall stones.

15. What is the name of Chapter 20?
(a) The Wild Days.
(b) Ellen's Wild Kingdom.
(c) The Wild Kingdom of Ellen.
(d) My Wild Time.

Short Answer Questions

1. What kind of pets other than dogs did Ellen have when she wrote this book?

2. When is Ellen most afraid?

3. What does Ellen say would have made her rich in Chapter 25?

4. What does Ellen say we should not say when walked in on in the bathroom?

5. How many times does Ellen say a celebrity vote is counted?

(see the answer keys)

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