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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What kind of influence does Ellen say she wants to have on her readers?
(a) Humorous.
(b) Positive.
(c) Strengthening.
(d) Inspiring.

2. What does Ellen say some young boys would learn from her mistake with a cake?
(a) Where the liquor cabinet is.
(b) How to deal with hangovers.
(c) How to help in the kitchen.
(d) Who not to hire.

3. How does Ellen want to get a baby?
(a) Buy one.
(b) Adopt one.
(c) Steal one.
(d) Babysit one.

4. What gift did Ellen bring to the party in Chapter 2?
(a) Gift cards.
(b) Sherry.
(c) Wine goblets.
(d) Underwear.

5. What is the title of Chapter 11?
(a) Things That I Will Never Again Do as They are Stupid.
(b) Things That Lead to Happiness in Life.
(c) Things That Should Never Be Attempted.
(d) Things That Sound Like a Good Idea at First, But Really Aren't.

6. What was Ellen disappointed about in the good psychic's prediction?
(a) She would have to write the book herself.
(b) She would never be truly successful.
(c) She would have to star in her show.
(d) She would never win an award.

7. Where did Ellen go to High School?
(a) Florida.
(b) Texas.
(c) Tennessee.
(d) Georgia.

8. What did Ellen compare herself to when she needed a hobby?
(a) A bug.
(b) A river.
(c) A car.
(d) A tree.

9. What amazes Ellen about some people's childhoods?
(a) They were treated poorly.
(b) They were loved.
(c) They forget them.
(d) They can remember them.

10. What does Ellen say about bathing in Chapter 11?
(a) You should never shower with another person.
(b) You should always use soap.
(c) You should never use cold water.
(d) You should never bathe in another person's house.

11. What does Ellen compare having a baby to?
(a) Buying a washer.
(b) Studying for an exam.
(c) Dying.
(d) Shooting herself.

12. How was Ellen told babies came to be?
(a) From a load of laundry.
(b) From a garden patch.
(c) From a secret sauce.
(d) From a catalogue.

13. What did Ellen do when she thought she heard a crash dive on a plane?
(a) Fainted.
(b) Drank some whiskey.
(c) Threw up.
(d) Swore.

14. Where did the Iditarod end?
(a) Juneau.
(b) Anchorage.
(c) Nome.
(d) Presley.

15. How does Ellen feel about the way she looks?
(a) She is confident.
(b) She is insecure.
(c) She is ashamed.
(d) She changes all the time.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who did Ellen offend when she thought she heard a crash dive on a plane?

2. What did Ellen apologize for in her letter to a friend?

3. Why did Ellen go see a psychic?

4. What did Ellen's friend's nickname used to be?

5. How did Selma describe Ellen as a child?

(see the answer keys)

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