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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Ellen say would have made her rich in Chapter 25?
(a) Investing smartly.
(b) Selling her book.
(c) Following her mother's advice.
(d) Getting a nickel every time she was an idiot.

2. What awards show did Ellen get asked about her advice column?
(a) The Country Music Awards.
(b) The Academy Awards.
(c) The Emmy Awards.
(d) The Tony Awards.

3. What did Ellen have to describe at the hospital?
(a) Her symptoms.
(b) Her experience.
(c) Her insurance.
(d) Her mother.

4. What does Ellen say she thinks God might look like?
(a) An alien.
(b) A man.
(c) An animal.
(d) A bear.

5. What did Ellen not like about her hospital gown?
(a) It was pink.
(b) It opened in the back.
(c) It made her look fat.
(d) It had bloood stains.

6. What does Ellen suggest counting when stuck on an elevator?
(a) Arm hairs.
(b) Seconds.
(c) Buttons.
(d) Carpet fibers.

7. How many points does Q get in Scrabble?
(a) 10.
(b) 4.
(c) 8.
(d) 5.

8. What is Ellen most grateful for in her life?
(a) The family she had.
(b) Her success.
(c) The small things.
(d) Her friends.

9. How does Ellen say never to get out of a ticket?
(a) Pleading.
(b) Kissing.
(c) Bribing.
(d) Joking.

10. What does Ellen not want to feel when in a sleeping bag?
(a) A breeze.
(b) A bug.
(c) A snake.
(d) A shiver.

11. Why was Ellen surprised by the doctor's compliment at the ER?
(a) She hadn't given a urine sample.
(b) She hadn't had blood drawn.
(c) She had quit water.
(d) She was crying.

12. What does Ellen talk about in Chapter 18?
(a) Dancing.
(b) Singing.
(c) Acting.
(d) Laughing.

13. What compliment did the doctor give Ellen at the ER?
(a) Her blood was nice.
(b) Her urine looked good.
(c) She was really tough.
(d) She was very well hydrated.

14. What would Ellen answer to her more unique questions on her advice column?
(a) Look it up.
(b) This is an answer you already know.
(c) That's an anomaly.
(d) How should I know, Dummy?

15. What did Ellen say was happening if her ears were burning?
(a) Someone was talking about her.
(b) Someone was thinking about her.
(c) Her ears were dirty.
(d) She needed a new prescription.

Short Answer Questions

1. What did Ellen think the compliment from the doctor really was?

2. What does Ellen say there is no polite way of doing?

3. How does Ellen say one should look when removing chewing gum from their mouth?

4. What did Ellen used to want to be when she was growing up?

5. What does Ellen say is the main difference between being a celebrity and being celibate?

(see the answer keys)

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