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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. When Sedaris completes his first puzzle,
(a) He carries it around proudly in his wallet.
(b) He decides it is too easy for him.
(c) He calls his father to seek his approval.
(d) He calls his ex-boyfriend to brag about it.

2. Martin, the American husband, remarks that
(a) Sedaris stole his wallet on his last trip to Paris.
(b) Sedaris does not speak French well.
(c) Sedaris stole Hugh's wallet.
(d) Sedaris, like all the French, smells badly.

3. Sedaris attempts to impress his teacher by
(a) Using his humor to make homework assignments interesting.
(b) Using his humor to lighten up the class.
(c) Speaking only English in class.
(d) Speaking perfect French.

4. As an adult, what prompts Sedaris to believe he is a genius?
(a) Alcohol.
(b) His philosophical theories.
(c) His art.
(d) Drugs.

5. Whose childhood stories does Sedaris borrow for this essay?
(a) Hugh's.
(b) Amy's.
(c) His father's.
(d) His mother's.

6. When Sedaris can no longer turn to his friends and family for help with the puzzles, he
(a) Has to buy a cell phone to call them in America.
(b) Has to give up the puzzles for a while.
(c) Has to buy a French dictionary.
(d) Has to buy reference books.

7. Sedaris notes that American businesses ask consumers to conserve water and napkins, but not
(a) The services or products that are complimentary.
(b) Expensive items.
(c) The services or products consumers pay for.
(d) Items that can be re-used.

8. The Texans on the Metro do not make room for the growing crowd because
(a) They are too tired to get up.
(b) They are unable to read the signs instructing them to do so.
(c) They are unable to make their seats fold up.
(d) They feel entitled to their seats.

9. In most of his fantasies, Sedaris gives himself
(a) Extraordinary gifts or powers.
(b) A handicap he needs to overcome.
(c) A fortune to spend any way he wants.
(d) A faithful sidekick.

10. Unlike Sedaris' childhood fieldtrips to historic villages, Hugh's school took him to visit
(a) A minefield.
(b) A slaughterhouse.
(c) A weapons factory.
(d) A war zone.

11. Unlike American theaters, French theaters
(a) Do not offer ice cream.
(b) Do not offer many concessions.
(c) Do not offer a choice of seats.
(d) Do not allow repeat viewings.

12. At the end of the essay, Sedaris compares himself to
(a) A hillbilly.
(b) A criminal.
(c) A celebrity.
(d) A baby.

13. Though the teacher ridicules him in the end, Sedaris is proud because
(a) He agrees with her.
(b) He thinks she is complimenting him.
(c) He has finally learned to defend himself in French.
(d) He understands every word she is saying.

14. Sedaris bonds with the other students
(a) Over their common fear of failing the class.
(b) Over their hatred for the teacher.
(c) Over the common hope that their teacher will like them.
(d) Over the common fear that they will never learn French.

15. At the start of the essay, Sedaris explains how he met
(a) Bonnie.
(b) Hugh.
(c) Alisha.
(d) Amy.

Short Answer Questions

1. At first, Sedaris resists the Walkman because

2. Which of the following is not an unusual word Sedaris learned in French?

3. Sedaris is somewhat flattered by the notion that he might be a pick-pocket because

4. Sedaris insists that Hugh take the IQ test with him

5. Sedaris says he sounds like an evil baby when speaking French because

(see the answer keys)

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