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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is the most difficult part of learning French for Sedaris?
(a) Memorizing plural forms of nouns.
(b) Memorizing which nouns are masculine and feminine.
(c) Conjugating verbs.
(d) Memorizing nouns.

2. Sedaris claims that if he wanted to hear wall-to-wall French
(a) He would go back to French class.
(b) He would move back to Normandy.
(c) He would buy more French books on tape.
(d) He would simply participate in real life.

3. Sedaris' own family was
(a) Atheist.
(b) Russian Orthodox.
(c) Greek Orthodox.
(d) Catholic.

4. When Sedaris completes his first puzzle,
(a) He calls his ex-boyfriend to brag about it.
(b) He carries it around proudly in his wallet.
(c) He calls his father to seek his approval.
(d) He decides it is too easy for him.

5. Amy Sedaris sends her brother
(a) An audio history of medicine in French.
(b) An audio walking tour of Paris.
(c) An audio walking tour of Notre Dame.
(d) A complete French dictionary.

6. Sedaris finds the assignation of gender difficult because
(a) It is so similiar in the English language.
(b) It seems random to him.
(c) It seems vulgar to him.
(d) It seems like he is using too many words.

7. What holiday does Sedaris find himself explaining to a Moroccan woman in his French class?
(a) Easter.
(b) Halloween.
(c) Thanksgiving.
(d) Christmas.

8. At the end of the essay, Sedaris compares himself to
(a) A baby.
(b) A hillbilly.
(c) A celebrity.
(d) A criminal.

9. The celebrity Sedaris' barber is fascinated by is
(a) Madonna.
(b) Jodi Foster.
(c) Michael Jackson.
(d) Mel Gibson.

10. Why has Sedaris' conscience been bothering him?
(a) He was morbidly fascinated by the possible death of a carnival worker.
(b) He was morbidly fascinated by the possible death of a girl at a Paris fair.
(c) He watched a girl die at a Paris street fair.
(d) He tried to take pictures of an accident at a Paris street fair.

11. Sedaris notes that American businesses ask consumers to conserve water and napkins, but not
(a) The services or products that are complimentary.
(b) Items that can be re-used.
(c) Expensive items.
(d) The services or products consumers pay for.

12. Sedaris is somewhat flattered by the notion that he might be a pick-pocket because
(a) It endows him with some skill and mystery.
(b) It endows him with skills hardly recognized in him.
(c) It allows him to hide his real identify.
(d) It allows him to behave as he sees fit.

13. Sedaris takes it personally when his teacher says
(a) His accent is terrible.
(b) She hates him.
(c) She will not pass him from the course.
(d) He will never learn French.

14. Tea keeps Sedaris awake because
(a) It is considered "decaf," which offends him.
(b) It is caffeinated and makes him need to use the bathroom.
(c) He does not like the taste of it.
(d) He can only drink a cup or two before it makes him sick.

15. Why are the students in Sedaris' French class intimidated by the teacher?
(a) The teacher claims to believe all the students are stupid.
(b) The teacher will not allow the students to speak aloud in class.
(c) The teacher is sarcastic and ridicules the students.
(d) The teacher refuses to speak French until lthe students speak it perfectly.

Short Answer Questions

1. Sedaris confesses his own fear is that

2. Sedaris insists that Hugh take the IQ test with him

3. Even without the language barrier, Sedaris doubts people can communicate clearly about

4. At the start of the essay, Sedaris explains how he met

5. Why does Sedaris feel ashamed about his inability to speak proper French?

(see the answer keys)

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