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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. The crossword puzzles grow harder as
(a) The week progresses.
(b) The months progress.
(c) They include sports and opera.
(d) They are translated into French.

2. Sedaris is disappointed when
(a) Police help the blonde woman at the fair.
(b) Police inform him that the accident is not a planned part of the show.
(c) Police make everyone leave the scene at the Paris fair.
(d) Police accuse him of being a gawker.

3. Sedaris initially offends the American couple by
(a) Crowding the couple with his body.
(b) Admitting that he speaks English.
(c) Refusing to acknowlege their questions.
(d) Grabbing on to a support pole they are clinging to.

4. What does Sedaris notice about many signs posted in America?
(a) The signs are clearly posted to help travellers feel comfortable.
(b) The signs are clearly posted to insult the intelligence of foreigners.
(c) The signs suggest a level of sophistication among Americans.
(d) The signs are clearly posted to avoid lawsuits.

5. When Sedaris completes his first puzzle,
(a) He calls his father to seek his approval.
(b) He decides it is too easy for him.
(c) He calls his ex-boyfriend to brag about it.
(d) He carries it around proudly in his wallet.

6. Sedaris claims he sees so many movies because
(a) He has no interest in other attractions.
(b) He is too lazy to do anything else.
(c) He is too intimidated by the French to do anything else.
(d) He has not seen most of these films in America.

7. Sedaris finds the assignation of gender difficult because
(a) It is so similiar in the English language.
(b) It seems vulgar to him.
(c) It seems like he is using too many words.
(d) It seems random to him.

8. The Texans on the Metro do not make room for the growing crowd because
(a) They are unable to read the signs instructing them to do so.
(b) They are unable to make their seats fold up.
(c) They feel entitled to their seats.
(d) They are too tired to get up.

9. At the end of the essay, Sedaris compares himself to
(a) A hillbilly.
(b) A criminal.
(c) A baby.
(d) A celebrity.

10. Unlike Sedaris' childhood fieldtrips to historic villages, Hugh's school took him to visit
(a) A weapons factory.
(b) A minefield.
(c) A slaughterhouse.
(d) A war zone.

11. Sedaris' own family was
(a) Russian Orthodox.
(b) Atheist.
(c) Greek Orthodox.
(d) Catholic.

12. The derogatory term Martin uses for a French person is
(a) Fruit.
(b) French fry.
(c) Froggy.
(d) Fritter.

13. When Hugh's father was late picking him up from the movies, he discovered
(a) A new film about a talking Volkswagen.
(b) A dead man hanging from a telephone pole.
(c) The theatre had only folding chairs and a sheet for a screen.
(d) A man killing a pig with a shotgun.

14. Martin, the American husband, remarks that
(a) Sedaris stole Hugh's wallet.
(b) Sedaris does not speak French well.
(c) Sedaris stole his wallet on his last trip to Paris.
(d) Sedaris, like all the French, smells badly.

15. Sedaris has trouble sleeping since
(a) He moved in with Hugh.
(b) He gave up drugs and alcohol.
(c) He moved to Paris.
(d) He gave up caffeinated beverages.

Short Answer Questions

1. The toughest trip Sedaris can remember enduring as a child involved

2. Though the teacher ridicules him in the end, Sedaris is proud because

3. Sedaris confesses his own fear is that

4. Why does Hugh get frustrated with Sedaris' multiple purchases?

5. Sedaris says he sounds like an evil baby when speaking French because

(see the answer keys)

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