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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In the Mr. Science fantasy, Sedaris
(a) is given the Nobel prize for literature.
(b) decides to let illnesses take their natural course.
(c) is a gynecologist.
(d) Is able to cure AIDS, cancer, and the appearance of old age.

2. At the Festival of Saint Anne, Sedaris is offered the chance to
(a) Save his admission fee by agreeing to repair a carnival ride.
(b) Save his admission fee by agreeing to enter the ring with the vachettes.
(c) Watch Saint Anne play soccer against the vachettes.
(d) Watch someone get injured by the vachettes.

3. According to Sedaris, speaking Easy French means
(a) Speaking only conversational French.
(b) Memorizing phrases from a guidebook.
(c) Using only nouns.
(d) Screaming English at the top of your lungs.

4. When men are injured by the vachettes, Sedaris
(a) Cries out and has to leave the arena.
(b) Laughs aloud.
(c) Is overcome with joy.
(d) Cries out and grabs his neighbors.

5. What is the most difficult part of learning French for Sedaris?
(a) Memorizing nouns.
(b) Memorizing which nouns are masculine and feminine.
(c) Memorizing plural forms of nouns.
(d) Conjugating verbs.

6. How does Sedaris solve his problem naming masculine and feminine nouns in public?
(a) He refuses to use nouns in conversation.
(b) He uses the singular form of every noun, so no gender is necessary.
(c) He uses the plural form of every noun, so no gender is necessary.
(d) He assigns every noun a gender he feels is appropriate.

7. As an adult, what prompts Sedaris to believe he is a genius?
(a) Drugs.
(b) His art.
(c) His philosophical theories.
(d) Alcohol.

8. Sedaris does not usually socialize with the members of his French class because
(a) He feels too old and worn out.
(b) He feels too awkward about being an American.
(c) He feels too ashamed of his minimal French.
(d) He feels awkward about his celebrity.

9. What holiday does Sedaris find himself explaining to a Moroccan woman in his French class?
(a) Thanksgiving.
(b) Christmas.
(c) Easter.
(d) Halloween.

10. At the start of the essay, Sedaris explains how he met
(a) Alisha.
(b) Amy.
(c) Bonnie.
(d) Hugh.

11. Sedaris finds that most of the people in class share the belief that
(a) They will one day speak and understand French clearly.
(b) They can clearly communicate their religious beliefs.
(c) They will one day share a common faith.
(d) Easter occurs in March or April.

12. Hugh claims Sedaris is a genius at
(a) Shopping and learning French.
(b) Shopping and naming stuffed animals.
(c) Vacuuming and naming stuffed animals.
(d) Vacuuming and drinking.

13. Using the reference books, Sedaris discovers a whole new world of
(a) Diseases.
(b) Opera.
(c) Phobias.
(d) Sports.

14. Sedaris takes it personally when his teacher says
(a) She will not pass him from the course.
(b) He will never learn French.
(c) She hates him.
(d) His accent is terrible.

15. Sedaris finds the assignation of gender difficult because
(a) It seems vulgar to him.
(b) It seems random to him.
(c) It is so similiar in the English language.
(d) It seems like he is using too many words.

Short Answer Questions

1. Sedaris bonds with the other students

2. The celebrity Sedaris' barber is fascinated by is

3. Some of the themes Sedaris finds common in his fantasies are

4. Instead of listening to French language tapes, Sedaris listens to

5. Why has Sedaris' conscience been bothering him?

(see the answer keys)

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