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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Sedaris claims that if he wanted to hear wall-to-wall French
(a) He would go back to French class.
(b) He would buy more French books on tape.
(c) He would simply participate in real life.
(d) He would move back to Normandy.

2. Sedaris insists that Hugh take the IQ test with him
(a) So that he can prove he is a genius to his father.
(b) So that he can compare his score to someone else's.
(c) So that he can prove he is smarter than Hugh.
(d) So that Hugh can translate the test into English for him.

3. Sedaris notes that American businesses ask consumers to conserve water and napkins, but not
(a) Items that can be re-used.
(b) The services or products that are complimentary.
(c) The services or products consumers pay for.
(d) Expensive items.

4. Which of the following is not an unusual word Sedaris learned in French?
(a) Bottleneck.
(b) Lobotomy.
(c) Exorcism.
(d) Slaughterhouse.

5. Sedaris does poorly on the IQ test because
(a) He does not understand the questions in French.
(b) He is distracted by the teacher.
(c) He does not know the answers to the questions.
(d) The testing room was too hot.

6. When Sedaris completes his first puzzle,
(a) He calls his ex-boyfriend to brag about it.
(b) He decides it is too easy for him.
(c) He carries it around proudly in his wallet.
(d) He calls his father to seek his approval.

7. In this essay, Sedaris' itineraries revolve around
(a) Tourist traps.
(b) Restaurants.
(c) Historical sites.
(d) Movie showings.

8. Sedaris says he sounds like an evil baby when speaking French because
(a) He refuses to speak French aloud.
(b) He only uses curse words.
(c) He refuses to learn new words.
(d) He only uses nouns at first.

9. Unlike American theaters, French theaters
(a) Do not offer many concessions.
(b) Do not allow repeat viewings.
(c) Do not offer ice cream.
(d) Do not offer a choice of seats.

10. Sedaris confesses his own fear is that
(a) His self-worth is reflected by his ex-boyfriend's indifference.
(b) His self-worth is determined by the reference books.
(c) His self-worth is based on how many facts he can memorize.
(d) His self-worth is based on completion of the puzzles.

11. Sedaris bonds with the other students
(a) Over the common fear that they will never learn French.
(b) Over their hatred for the teacher.
(c) Over the common hope that their teacher will like them.
(d) Over their common fear of failing the class.

12. What are the vachettes?
(a) Angry French teenagers.
(b) French crafts.
(c) Crocheted doilies.
(d) Long-horned cattle.

13. Thanks to his sister, Amy, Sedaris learns
(a) Medical terms in French.
(b) Literary terms in French.
(c) The score to Phantom of the Opera.
(d) The score to Madame Butterfly.

14. What led Sedaris to take an IQ test?
(a) Curiosity.
(b) Fear.
(c) Self-pity.
(d) Laziness.

15. Sedaris finds the assignation of gender difficult because
(a) It seems vulgar to him.
(b) It seems like he is using too many words.
(c) It is so similiar in the English language.
(d) It seems random to him.

Short Answer Questions

1. Sedaris is disappointed when

2. Using the reference books, Sedaris discovers a whole new world of

3. At first, Sedaris resists the Walkman because

4. Why did Hugh's family live in the Congo?

5. Sedaris is surprised to learn that in France,

(see the answer keys)

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