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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Miss Sampson asks the previous question in order to
(a) Trick Sedaris into revealing his disdain for sports.
(b) Provoke an argument about football.
(c) Get Sedaris talking so she might hear his lisp.
(d) Determine whether or not she will like Sedaris.

2. Sedaris' interest in science extended only to
(a) Freezing animals and fixing his record player.
(b) Fixing his record player and exploring marine life.
(c) Performing surgery on his pets.
(d) Getting his pets drunk and thawing them out again.

3. Sedaris' friend Alisha describes most people as
(a) Quirky.
(b) Sweet.
(c) A handful.
(d) Nice.

4. By way of explanation, Amy Sedaris explains her "bruises" and "sores" by saying
(a) Her public should love her no matter what she looks like.
(b) She fell down the stairs.
(c) Her father beat her up.
(d) She is finally in love.

5. Sedaris fears his father is not up to the task of caring for his new dog, Sophie, because
(a) He is older now, and she is young and strong.
(b) She is violent and does not obey him.
(c) He is older now, and she is old and dying.
(d) He is not as attentive to pets as he used to be.

6. The title Sedaris tried to win for sun-bathing was
(a) Miss Skin Cancer.
(b) Miss Sunscreen.
(c) Miss Sunburn.
(d) Miss Emollient.

7. Amy Sedaris is fond of
(a) Impersonating her father.
(b) Dressing up and impersonating others.
(c) Gaining and losing weight haphazardly.
(d) Having her picture taken for the newspaper.

8. The irony of the fisherman's position is that
(a) They can understand Lou Sedaris' scientific equations.
(b) They are not even trying to be tan.
(c) They can no longer afford to live by the beach.
(d) They can no longer fish in the ocean.

9. Sedaris and his father seem to
(a) Try to make each other unhappy.
(b) Have few common interests.
(c) Be angry at each other most of the time.
(d) Have an unusually close realtionship

10. Where music is concerned, Sedaris' father could be described as a
(a) Professional.
(b) Skeptic.
(c) Dreamer.
(d) Realist.

11. The dog Mr. and Mrs. Sedaris coddled as empty-nesters was
(a) Madchen 2, the replacement German Shepard.
(b) Sadie the cat.
(c) Mumbles, the teddy bear.
(d) Melina, a Great Dane.

12. Why are the fishermen interested in Lou Sedaris' equation?
(a) They are interested in the number of grains of sand per acre.
(b) They want to know how much their property would have been worth today.
(c) They want to know if he is interested in buying property.
(d) They want to know why he is drawing in the sand.

13. During their last meeting together, Sedaris learns that Miss Sampson
(a) Has quit her job because she feels like a failure.
(b) Has been fired because she could not help the students.
(c) Is leaving to work at another school.
(d) Is aware of his homosexuality.

14. Sedaris refuses to order dessert because
(a) He is insulted by the waiter's suggestion that he is counting calories.
(b) It contains non-traditional ingredients like luncheon meat.
(c) He cannot pronounce it.
(d) It contains fattening creme fraiche.

15. Lou Sedaris is concerned about Amy's looks because
(a) He thinks she is his most attractive child.
(b) He worries that she is getting old.
(c) He never considered her attractive.
(d) He thinks she will never get married.

Short Answer Questions

1. Sedaris attempts to hide his lisp by

2. Sedaris is dismayed when he visits The Plaza because

3. Despite his experiences, Sedaris still finds the view of Manhattan and the fantasy of wealth

4. Sedaris wonders at the way Paul and his father

5. How does Sedaris prepare to teach his workshop?

(see the answer keys)

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