2. Sedaris recalls that his mother explained
(a) That one should never make a bowel movement at another's home.
(b) That one should never leave a toilet unflushed.
(c) That everyone had bowel movements, so he should not be ashamed about them.
(d) That everyone had bowel movements, but that we should not admit to them.

3. Sedaris compares the typewriter's antiquity to
(a) The printing press.
(b) Eight-track tapes and the quill.
(c) Cassette players.
(d) Eight-track tapes and VCRs.

4. Sedaris' mother connects most closely with
(a) The collies.
(b) Her cats.
(c) Madchen 1.
(d) The collies' puppies.

5. Sedaris is dismayed when he visits The Plaza because
(a) Bonnie has been humiliated by New York women.
(b) He is intimidated by the New Yorkers.
(c) He finds it overrun with tourists like Bonnie.
(d) He is completely underdressed.

6. Who or what threatens to divide Sedaris' class?
(a) An older returning student who claimed he was wasting her time.
(b) The teenage freshmen students.
(c) An asthmatic who protected the smoking rule in class.
(d) Sedaris' Pillow Talk segment, where students discussed their personal lives.

7. Sedaris compares his father's most recent dog, Sophie, to
(a) A capricious young bride.
(b) A trophy wife.
(c) An inexperienced substitute teacher.
(d) A substitute wife.

8. Sedaris refuses to order dessert because
(a) He cannot pronounce it.
(b) It contains non-traditional ingredients like luncheon meat.
(c) It contains fattening creme fraiche.
(d) He is insulted by the waiter's suggestion that he is counting calories.

9. Lou Sedaris once dreamed that computers would
(a) Connect people all over the world.
(b) Connect people to their jobs at all times.
(c) Eliminate the need to leave his home.
(d) Eliminate the need for typewriters.

10. Sedaris is not bothered by the possible ingredients in a hot dog because
(a) He does not believe the rumors about them.
(b) He only eats vegetarian hot dogs.
(c) He is used to exotic foods.
(d) He recognizes the hot dog as food.

11. Sedaris attempts to hide his lisp by
(a) Learning as many s-free words as possible.
(b) Refusing to speak during therapy.
(c) Mispronouncing all his words.
(d) Practicing his s-words at home.

12. Sedaris decides to make his students more comfortable by
(a) Allowing them to smoke in class.
(b) Allowing them to drink in class.
(c) Sharing his private life with them.
(d) Letting them design the class activities.

13. Mr. Mancini claims to be
(a) A homosexual.
(b) A ladies man.
(c) A frustrated artist.
(d) A rock star.

14. Why is Sedaris unable to ignore the problem?
(a) He feels guilty about leaving a mess behind for others to clean up.
(b) He is obsessive about cleanliness.
(c) Everyone else knows he has been in the bathroom.
(d) Everyone else has already tried to clean it up an failed.

15. Why is it difficult for Sedaris to travel with a typewriter?
(a) Security usually does not know what a typewriter is.
(b) Security finds the typewriter unusual enough to stop him regularly.
(c) The typewriter is heavy and cumbersome.
(d) Sedaris insults security, and this calls attention to him and his typewriter.