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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Sedaris compares his father's most recent dog, Sophie, to
(a) An inexperienced substitute teacher.
(b) A capricious young bride.
(c) A trophy wife.
(d) A substitute wife.

2. Ironically, the food at the restaurant is described as
(a) Dada-esque.
(b) Home cooking.
(c) Traditional American.
(d) American Gothic.

3. Why are the fishermen interested in Lou Sedaris' equation?
(a) They are interested in the number of grains of sand per acre.
(b) They want to know how much their property would have been worth today.
(c) They want to know if he is interested in buying property.
(d) They want to know why he is drawing in the sand.

4. Sedaris' interest in science extended only to
(a) Getting his pets drunk and thawing them out again.
(b) Freezing animals and fixing his record player.
(c) Fixing his record player and exploring marine life.
(d) Performing surgery on his pets.

5. Sedaris decides to make his students more comfortable by
(a) Letting them design the class activities.
(b) Allowing them to drink in class.
(c) Sharing his private life with them.
(d) Allowing them to smoke in class.

6. Why is it difficult for Sedaris to travel with a typewriter?
(a) Security finds the typewriter unusual enough to stop him regularly.
(b) Security usually does not know what a typewriter is.
(c) The typewriter is heavy and cumbersome.
(d) Sedaris insults security, and this calls attention to him and his typewriter.

7. Sedaris discovers that most of the boys in speech therapy are
(a) Unable to pronounce consonants correctly.
(b) Unlike himself.
(c) Unpopular and uninterested in sports.
(d) Popular and smart.

8. Sedaris questions
(a) His own inability to leave the toilet unflushed, thereby assuming the guilt.
(b) His own need for cleanliness.
(c) His own inability to go to the bathroom comfortably in public
(d) Others inability to feel shame.

9. In the bathroom, the major problem Sedaris faces is
(a) His fears about other people's germs.
(b) His proximity to the dinner party outside the window.
(c) An unflushed toilet.
(d) A broken sink.

10. Mr. Mancini makes Sedaris uncomfortable by constantly referring to
(a) Jazz musicians.
(b) Women and sex.
(c) Men and sex.
(d) Popular songs Sedaris does not know.

11. Before leaving for The Plaza, Sedaris warns Bonnie that
(a) She will get mugged if she dresses too formally.
(b) She will probably be overcharged by her cab driver.
(c) She might want to go someplace less formal.
(d) She might want to put on more formal clothing.

12. Richie had been in prison for
(a) Killing his younger brother.
(b) Burning his sister's boyfriend to death.
(c) Burning his sister to death.
(d) Refusing to pay taxes.

13. Facing his lack of artistic talent might mean
(a) Learning a new trade.
(b) Needing more drugs.
(c) Sobering up and moving on.
(d) Admitting his father was right.

14. Why is Sedaris unable to ignore the problem?
(a) He feels guilty about leaving a mess behind for others to clean up.
(b) Everyone else has already tried to clean it up an failed.
(c) Everyone else knows he has been in the bathroom.
(d) He is obsessive about cleanliness.

15. The Japanese cartoon Fatty and Skinny makes Sedaris sad because
(a) Fatty always rejects Skinny in the end.
(b) Skinny is unable to meet Fatty's demands, and ends up friendless.
(c) Fatty is unable to meet Skinny's demands and loses his friendship.
(d) Skinny always demands money from Fatty.

Short Answer Questions

1. Amy Sedaris is fond of

2. Sedaris describes his guitar teacher as

3. Sedaris wonders at the way Paul and his father

4. What instrument does Sedaris' father choose for him?

5. When Mancini insists he name his guitar, Sedaris names his "Joan," after

(see the answer keys)

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