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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why are the fishermen interested in Lou Sedaris' equation?
(a) They are interested in the number of grains of sand per acre.
(b) They want to know if he is interested in buying property.
(c) They want to know how much their property would have been worth today.
(d) They want to know why he is drawing in the sand.

2. Instead of the performance piece in the twelfth "moment," Sedaris seems to admire
(a) The beauty of the ordinary world around him.
(b) The courage of the performer.
(c) The number of people attending the performance.
(d) The metaphors apparent in the performance.

3. One bi-product of new computer technology that Sedaris finds unfortunate is
(a) The family tree.
(b) The internet.
(c) The family newsletter.
(d) YouTube.

4. The dog Mr. and Mrs. Sedaris coddled as empty-nesters was
(a) Sadie the cat.
(b) Melina, a Great Dane.
(c) Madchen 2, the replacement German Shepard.
(d) Mumbles, the teddy bear.

5. The question "Which do you like better, State or Carolina?" refers to
(a) Contenders for the Superbowl title.
(b) University football teams.
(c) Two different titles for one football team.
(d) Two local towns.

6. What Sedaris admires in his sister Gretchen is
(a) Her own personality.
(b) Her indifference to art.
(c) Her talent as a sculptor.
(d) Her admission to art school.

7. When visiting home, Amy tortures her father by
(a) Pretending she refused to appear in the magazine article.
(b) Wearing a fat suit and pretending to be grossly overweight.
(c) Claiming that he is grossly overweight.
(d) Ignoring his questions about her personal life.

8. Sedaris decides to make his students more comfortable by
(a) Allowing them to drink in class.
(b) Letting them design the class activities.
(c) Allowing them to smoke in class.
(d) Sharing his private life with them.

9. While Sedaris has been preoccupied with tanning, his father has been preoccupied with
(a) The Miss Emollient Pageant.
(b) Scientific questions.
(c) His fear of the ocean.
(d) The price of beachfront property.

10. Mr. Mancini makes Sedaris uncomfortable by constantly referring to
(a) Jazz musicians.
(b) Popular songs Sedaris does not know.
(c) Men and sex.
(d) Women and sex.

11. In the end, Sedaris decides
(a) He will tell the other guests the truth about his experience.
(b) He does not feel threatened by others' opinions of him.
(c) He can not do anything about the situation.
(d) He will try to figure out the culprit when he returns to dinner.

12. One aspect of the food that disturbs Sedaris is
(a) That it is stacked vertically on his plate.
(b) That it is arranged to look like a face on his plate.
(c) That it is piled in an unrecognizable heap.
(d) That it is laid out in a horizontal line.

13. What instrument does Sedaris' father choose for him?
(a) Trumpet.
(b) Piano.
(c) Flute.
(d) Guitar.

14. The title The Youth In Asia applies to
(a) Euthanizing pets and the Japanese cartoon Fatty and Skinny.
(b) Sedaris' dogs, Fatty and Skinny.
(c) Sedaris' experiences living with a pet in Japan.
(d) Euthanizing pets and adopting new ones.

15. The sign Sedaris would post on the Speech Therapist's door would read
(a) Speech Therapy Lab.
(b) Janitor's Closet.
(c) Future Sports Enthusiasts of America.
(d) Future Homosexuals of America.

Short Answer Questions

1. The title Sedaris tried to win for sun-bathing was

2. Sedaris goes to work for Patrick because

3. Valencia is

4. At the end of the essay, Miss Sampson tricks Sedaris by

5. Bonnie is most interested in

(see the answer keys)

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