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• While he is sitting in his fifth grade geography class, an unfamiliar teacher unexpectedly calls Sedaris out of the room.

• The young Sedaris soon realizes the purpose of her interruption, speech therapy.

• Sedaris grows to dislike his new speech teacher, Miss Chrissy Samson, immensely.

• Sedaris notices a pattern among Miss Samson's students: they are all unpopular boys with a penchant for baking, decoupage, and secret desires about firemen.

• Thus, Sedaris implies that this speech class was intended to eliminate the natural phonetics of young homosexuals.

• Sedaris learns to avoid "s" sounds by learning a new vocabulary, avoiding the therapist's attempts to affect his lisp.

• During his last meeting with Miss Samson, he learns she has taken a job at another school, thus ending his sessions.

• As their meeting comes to a close Miss Samson admits that none of the students likes her and that they all...

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