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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Which of Mark Twain's family and/or friends died before him?
(a) All of the above.
(b) His wife.
(c) Two of his daughters.
(d) His best friend.

2. Where was the election 'shamelessly rigged?'
(a) Ohio.
(b) Florida.
(c) Texas.
(d) Illinois.

3. What did Abbie Hoffman say was the new high?
(a) Orange peels taken intranasally.
(b) Apple skins taken intraveinously.
(c) Banana peels taken rectally.
(d) Lemon rind taken orally.

4. What is a lot less friendly to Kurt now that he is 82?
(a) Gravity.
(b) Radiation.
(c) Pain.
(d) Sunlight.

5. What do humanists not believe in?
(a) Mercy.
(b) Jesus.
(c) Community.
(d) The afterlife.

6. According to Kurt, what occupied country has America become like?
(a) Ukraine.
(b) France.
(c) Poland.
(d) Palestine.

7. What did the Chinese use gunpowder for?
(a) Bombs.
(b) Fireworks.
(c) Cannons.
(d) Mining.

8. Who is Joel Bleifuss?
(a) Kurt's psychiatrist.
(b) Kurt's typesetter.
(c) Kurt's publisher.
(d) Kurt's editor.

9. In what state was Kurt's business located?
(a) Vermont.
(b) Indiana.
(c) Massachusetts.
(d) New York.

10. How old is Kurt's house in Sagaponack, Long Island?
(a) Nearly 300 years old.
(b) Nearly 280 years old.
(c) Nearly 500 years old.
(d) Nearly 140 years old.

11. What does the Bible say is a good thing to do?
(a) Honor one's ancestors.
(b) Read the Bible often.
(c) Be wrathful to one's enemies.
(d) Beggar thy neighbor.

12. What did humanists used to be referred to as?
(a) Masons.
(b) Libertines.
(c) Free Thinkers.
(d) Reformists.

13. Who wrote The Tin Men?
(a) Max Reinhardt.
(b) Michael Frayn.
(c) Werner Heisenberg.
(d) Claire Tomalin.

14. According to tabloids, how long have alien anthropologists been studying the human race?
(a) Ten years.
(b) Ten centuries.
(c) Ten minutes.
(d) Ten generations.

15. Where is Joe from?
(a) Pittsburg.
(b) Anaheim.
(c) New Jersey.
(d) Philidelphia.

Short Answer Questions

1. How old is Kurt's daughter, Lily?

2. What would Ivan the Terrible nail to your head if you disagreed with him?

3. What did Kurt feel like doing to his Uncle Dan?

4. How many kids does Kurt have?

5. Who was the first to say 'do unto others...?'

(see the answer keys)

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