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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What did Kurt feel like doing to his Uncle Dan?
(a) Kicking him in the shins.
(b) Nothing.
(c) Killing him.
(d) Thanking him.

2. What is the only proof Kurt needs for the existence of God?
(a) Music.
(b) His children.
(c) The sunrise.
(d) The singing of birds.

3. How old was the woman?
(a) 34.
(b) 54.
(c) 43.
(d) 45.

4. What country does Saab come from?
(a) Germany.
(b) Sweden.
(c) France.
(d) India.

5. What could a Saab drag at a stoplight?
(a) A Ford.
(b) An Audi.
(c) A Chevy.
(d) A VW.

6. What would Ivan the Terrible nail to your head if you disagreed with him?
(a) Your hat.
(b) Your hands.
(c) Your own death warrant.
(d) A wreathe of poison ivy.

7. How old is Kurt's daughter, Lily?
(a) 22.
(b) 23.
(c) 21.
(d) 24.

8. What can the devil cite for his purpose?
(a) Encyclopedias.
(b) Peer-reviewed articles.
(c) Scripture.
(d) Websites.

9. According to Kurt, what are we not born with?
(a) Imagination.
(b) Instinct.
(c) Intelligence.
(d) Passion.

10. What did the New York Times guarantee were in Iraq?
(a) Oil wells.
(b) Terrorists.
(c) Weapons of mass destruction.
(d) American POWs.

11. What type of people want to become President?
(a) Nut cases.
(b) Corrupt businessmen.
(c) Normal people.
(d) Go-getters.

12. What was the 'sappy woman' about to have?
(a) A fit.
(b) Surgery.
(c) A party.
(d) A baby.

13. What do humanists not believe in?
(a) Jesus.
(b) Community.
(c) The afterlife.
(d) Mercy.

14. What burns at 451 degrees Fahrenheit?
(a) Paper.
(b) Plastic.
(c) Hair.
(d) Wood.

15. What was a 'humiliating, shameful, blood-soaked year?'
(a) 2004.
(b) 2001.
(c) 1979.
(d) 1942.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to Kurt, where did napalm come from?

2. Who uttered the most intelligent and decent prayers ever?

3. By what ratio do guessers outnumber non-guessers?

4. What does Gil Berman do for a living?

5. Who was President during the 1848 war with Mexico?

(see the answer keys)

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