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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why is "Hamlet" a masterpiece?
(a) It is true.
(b) It was written by Shakespeare.
(c) It is popular.
(d) It was liked by the Araphos.

2. What is Kurt going to do?
(a) Write another book.
(b) Run for President.
(c) Sleep with children.
(d) Sue a tobacco company.

3. When did Emma Lazarus write her famous sonnet about the 'poor,' 'wretched,' and 'homeless?'
(a) 1872.
(b) 1867.
(c) 1883.
(d) 1855.

4. What was Powers Hapgood's occupation after graduating from Harvard?
(a) Doctor.
(b) Coal miner.
(c) Lawyer.
(d) Economist.

5. What is Kurt's limit for alcoholic drinks?
(a) Three.
(b) Two.
(c) Four.
(d) One.

6. What does Freud call laughless jokes?
(a) Maternal humor.
(b) Dead humor.
(c) Silent humor.
(d) Gallows humor.

7. What is a Luddite?
(a) A person who hates new technology.
(b) A religious zealot.
(c) An idiot with no respect for those with more intelligence.
(d) A slow, lazy person.

8. What has 'beat the heck' out of Kurt Vonnegut?
(a) Morality.
(b) Progress.
(c) Ignorance.
(d) Regret.

9. What was Eugene Victor Debs' former occupation?
(a) Poet.
(b) Fireman.
(c) Plumber.
(d) Police officer.

10. Who, according to Kurt, is not really a humorist?
(a) Bob Newhart.
(b) Bob Hope.
(c) Bob McKenzie.
(d) Bob Smith.

11. What ethnic group did Kurt's friend in Nigeria belong to?
(a) Ibo.
(b) Hausa.
(c) Hutu.
(d) Yoruba.

12. Why do so many people get divorced today?
(a) Incompatible personalities.
(b) Divorce is more socially acceptable.
(c) No extended families.
(d) People are unhappier these days.

13. What comprises George and Laura Bush's extended family?
(a) Lawyers.
(b) All of the above.
(c) Senators.
(d) Judges.

14. What can Kurt not imagine a funny book about?
(a) John F. Kennedy.
(b) All of the above.
(c) Auschwitz.
(d) Martin Luther King.

15. Who knows more about the spirit world than anyone else?
(a) Uri Geller.
(b) Umedram Lalbhai.
(c) David Blaine.
(d) Madame Blatvatsky.

Short Answer Questions

1. How have humans destroyed the planet?

2. At what age did Kurt start smoking?

3. What is the name of Kurt's typist?

4. What did one of Kurt's ancestors lose in battle?

5. How many people were killed in the Dresden firebombing?

(see the answer keys)

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