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Miss Chrissy Samson

Sedaris' fifth-grade speech therapist, this character may have contributed to Sedaris' future as a writer.

Mr. Mancini

This character is the very short guitar teacher with whom Sedaris unwillingly takes guitar lessons as a child.

Mr. Sedaris

A computer engineer for IBM who has an enthusiasm for understanding and explaining the inner workings of all things, this character often embarrasses Sedaris during his childhood.

Reggie

This character works alongside Sedaris on a construction clean-up crew and is always complaining that he is a genius and is too smart and talented to be cleaning up construction sites.

Amy Sedaris

Like her brother, this character is also a comedian who never developed a self-conscious attitude and loves costumes.

Gretchen Sedaris

This character had the ability to achieve the perfect tan, and was praised for being a talented painter.

Paul Sedaris

This character refers to himself as "the...

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