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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In what state was Kurt's business located?
(a) Indiana.
(b) New York.
(c) Vermont.
(d) Massachusetts.

2. What type of engine did the Saab cars have in Kurt's day?
(a) Electric.
(b) Two-stroke.
(c) Four-stroke.
(d) Steam.

3. What do humanists not believe in?
(a) Community.
(b) The afterlife.
(c) Mercy.
(d) Jesus.

4. What did Abbie Hoffman say was the new high?
(a) Apple skins taken intraveinously.
(b) Orange peels taken intranasally.
(c) Lemon rind taken orally.
(d) Banana peels taken rectally.

5. According to Kurt, what are we not born with?
(a) Intelligence.
(b) Imagination.
(c) Passion.
(d) Instinct.

6. What could a Saab drag at a stoplight?
(a) A VW.
(b) A Ford.
(c) An Audi.
(d) A Chevy.

7. Who uttered the most intelligent and decent prayers ever?
(a) Richard Nixon.
(b) George Washington.
(c) John Adams.
(d) Abraham Lincoln.

8. What can the devil cite for his purpose?
(a) Scripture.
(b) Websites.
(c) Peer-reviewed articles.
(d) Encyclopedias.

9. How many kids does Kurt have?
(a) Three.
(b) Seven.
(c) Two.
(d) Ten.

10. According to tabloids, how long have alien anthropologists been studying the human race?
(a) Ten centuries.
(b) Ten years.
(c) Ten generations.
(d) Ten minutes.

11. What do vocal Christians demand be posted in public buildings?
(a) Crucifixes.
(b) The Sermon on the Mount.
(c) Signs that say 'Christians only.'
(d) The Ten Commandments.

12. What does Kurt tell Joe he must do?
(a) Make the world a better place.
(b) Live life to the fullest.
(c) Be a saint.
(d) Be kind.

13. Whose line of Democratic tradition does Kurt belong to?
(a) John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
(b) Richard Herbert Nixon.
(c) Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
(d) Bill Clinton.

14. What country does Saab come from?
(a) Sweden.
(b) France.
(c) Germany.
(d) India.

15. What did the Chinese use gunpowder for?
(a) Bombs.
(b) Fireworks.
(c) Cannons.
(d) Mining.

Short Answer Questions

1. What makes life worth living for Kurt, other than music?

2. What does the Bible say is a good thing to do?

3. Who is Joel Bleifuss?

4. What color are the aliens?

5. What is all pop music today derived from?

(see the answer keys)

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