|Name: _________________________||Period: ___________________|
This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.
Multiple Choice Questions
1. How much younger is Gil than Kurt?
(a) 5 years.
(b) 12 years.
(c) 36 years.
(d) 51 years.
2. What does Kurt tell Joe he must do?
(a) Make the world a better place.
(b) Live life to the fullest.
(c) Be kind.
(d) Be a saint.
3. According to Kurt, where did napalm come from?
(a) The Soviet Union.
(c) Mother nature.
(d) Weapons labs.
4. What would Ivan the Terrible nail to your head if you disagreed with him?
(a) A wreathe of poison ivy.
(b) Your hands.
(c) Your hat.
(d) Your own death warrant.
5. What does PP stand for?
(a) Perceptive Personality.
(b) Psychopathic Personality.
(c) Poisonous Personality.
(d) Pathological Personality.
6. How long ago did Kurt's business fail?
(a) 42 years ago.
(b) 26 years ago.
(c) 33 years ago.
(d) 11 years ago.
7. At the time of writing, what is the only way to learn what is going on?
8. By what ratio do guessers outnumber non-guessers?
(a) Ten to one.
(b) Five to one.
(c) Six to one.
(d) Two to one.
9. What was a 'humiliating, shameful, blood-soaked year?'
10. How often does Gil have sex?
(a) Once a week.
(b) Once a year.
(d) Once a day.
11. What did the Chinese use gunpowder for?
12. What are the people that Kurt blames for ruining America born without?
(a) Silver spoons in their mouths.
13. What type of people want to become President?
(b) Corrupt businessmen.
(c) Normal people.
(d) Nut cases.
14. Where was the election 'shamelessly rigged?'
15. What is a lot less friendly to Kurt now that he is 82?
Short Answer Questions
1. Which of Mark Twain's family and/or friends died before him?
2. Who was President during the 1848 war with Mexico?
3. Who uttered the most intelligent and decent prayers ever?
4. What is the only proof Kurt needs for the existence of God?
5. Who was the first to say 'do unto others...?'
This section contains 333 words
(approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page)