Explaining Pastafarianism - A Condensed History of the World Summary

According to Henderson, the FSM created the universe five thousand years ago, though FSM placed evidence of a much older existence to throw humans off the track. He created Earth in under a second, which he also disguised to look older. Henderson explains that dinosaurs did exist and lived alongside humans about three thousand years ago. No bones have been discovered from this time as dinosaurs didn't have bones, the ones dug up being a big hoax by the FSM. Dinosaurs moved by engorging different muscles to get stiff.

Most important in Pastafarian history is the Golden Age of Pirates, some 2,500 years ago. This is when the FSM "revealed his Noodly Appendage" to show people the lightened way, ergo the way of piracy. Unlike the thieves they...