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This quiz consists of 5 multiple choice and 5 short answer questions through Chapters 7-8, 'The Lowest-Paid Male Escort on the Entire Eastern Seaboard, Except for Maybe the Bronx' and 'Are Those Your Fingers in My Mouth, or Are You Just Happy to Not See Me?'.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What was apparently the original name of the Schwa family in the Old World?
(a) Schwartz.
(b) Schwarpetz.
(c) Schwappane.
(d) Schwainwright.

2. Where is the Schwa hiding when Old Man Crawley discovers him and Antsy in his home?
(a) Under a desk.
(b) In the garage.
(c) In the bathroom.
(d) Behind a curtain.

3. Ira has ambitions to become a _________ when he grows up.
(a) Doctor.
(b) Director.
(c) Senator.
(d) Lawyer.

4. What is the Schwa dared to bring back from Old Man Crawley's home in Chapter 4?
(a) A dog bowl.
(b) A dagger.
(c) A mixing bowl.
(d) A soup bowl.

5. Of what heritage is Ira in the novel?
(a) Mormon.
(b) Catholic.
(c) Jewish.
(d) Muslim.

Short Answer Questions

1. Old Man Crawley puts the Schwa in charge of walking his dogs named after __________.

2. How much do the student officers agree to pay a week to keep the Schwa on retainer?

3. A girl agrees to pay to see the Schwa do what in Chapter 4?

4. In the novel, the urinal strainer found in most bathrooms is a product of what company?

5. Who suggests experimenting with the Schwa in order to quantify the Schwa effect in Chapter 3?

(see the answer key)

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