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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why did Valentino invite Mencken to dinner?
(a) To challenge him to a duel for libel.
(b) To ask for advice about a fight with a New York newspaper.
(c) To advise him on whether or not to take an upcoming film role.
(d) To beg him to ask a young woman out on a date for him.

2. Which of the following might Mencken say about Calvin Coolidge?
(a) Coolidge pulled himself up from the most meager of upbringings.
(b) Coolidge was as energetic a man as ever graced the White House.
(c) Coolidge was a practical agnostic.
(d) Coolidge was deeply flawed, precisely because of his Presbyterian upbringing.

3. According to "The New Architecture," when will Man have "built his own prison"?
(a) When people build houses using the style of English Eighteenth Century.
(b) When he replaces Gothic architecture with Modernist architecture.
(c) When Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania is not heralded as a champion of new design.
(d) When new architecture is replaced by neoclassical architecture.

4. Per "Mr. Justice Holmes," which of the following might Mencken say about the legislature as a state organization?
(a) Despite its flaws, it always acts in the interest of the people.
(b) It is immune to corruption.
(c) It is run by the aristocracy.
(d) It is subject to special interests and blackmail.

5. What criticism did Mencken have for a book filled with sayings and writings about death?
(a) The book failed to include the work of Theodore Dreiser.
(b) The book had nothing from the ancient Greeks.
(c) The book failed to mention music at all.
(d) The book had three quotations attributed to the contemptible Oliver Wendell Holmes.

6. What was Mencken's epitaph?
(a) Wink your eye at some homely girl.
(b) This gravestone may alternately be used as a paperweight.
(c) Give your mother a kiss, for me.
(d) Remember what I said, not what I did.

7. Which of the following did NOT happen during "The Hills of Zion"?
(a) The preacher began to speak in tongues.
(b) A woman warned against reading books.
(c) A young woman went into convulsions.
(d) A preacher appeared to strangle a woman to death before he miraculously "cures" her.

8. Why might the Anglo-Saxon race have entered into the Spanish-American war, according to Mencken?
(a) They knew they could seize the Spanish crown.
(b) They were courageous and foolhardy.
(c) The war protected vital interests in the Caribbean.
(d) It was a war they were sure to win.

9. Which of the following was true in regard to statements made by Mencken about chiropractic?
(a) There was no, and would never be, any beneficial effect of chiropractic.
(b) The deaths of chiropractic patients was welcome, as it would mean less stupid people in the world.
(c) Chiropractors were made up of intellectual heavyweights and aristocrats.
(d) Chiropractic sprang from a perversion of brain science.

10. Complete the following aphorism found in "Sententiae": "Adultery is..."
(a) "...the destruction of love, life, and money."
(b) "...a willingness to get what's yours."
(c) "...the application of democracy to love."
(d) "...like a marriage with a bad cold."

11. How was Mencken able to get a taxi driver to drive him to a speakeasy in Pennsylvania?
(a) He gave the driver a ten dollar bill.
(b) He agreed to write an article about the driver.
(c) He threatened the driver with jail time.
(d) He showed the driver the musical score from a Bach concert.

12. In "Valentino," what did the press find in a men's bathroom that caused them to mock Valentino and his "Latin Lover" image?
(a) Underwear with a hole in it.
(b) Women's perfume.
(c) A bar of lavender-scented soap-on-a-rope.
(d) Pink talcum-powder.

13. What was Mencken's attitude toward Grover Cleveland?
(a) Smug pity.
(b) Enjoyment at his suffering.
(c) Great admiration.
(d) Contempt for his policies.

14. What might Mencken say was Grover Cleveland's defining trait?
(a) Political acumen.
(b) Stubbornness.
(c) A lust for life.
(d) Intelligence.

15. What was Mencken's current opinion of the American South, as revealed in "The Calamity of Appomattox"?
(a) It was a culturally superior place.
(b) It was a culturally inferior place.
(c) It was a lightning-rod of controversy.
(d) It was an economic powerhouse.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to Mencken, what if there had not been a Civil War in the United States?

2. Who was FDR's chief opponent in the Democratic Convention of 1932?

3. What was the nature of the analogy Mencken uses involving Oliver Wendell Holmes, a hammer, and a feather?

4. How was plutocracy created, according to Mencken?

5. How did Mencken describe the music of Chopin?

(see the answer keys)

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