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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why does the typical man have a poor conception of beauty?
(a) Even a man's enemy will tell him his wife is pretty.
(b) The entire world, with very few exceptions, is hideously ugly.
(c) Even mirrors are manufactured to lie about a woman's beauty.
(d) Make-up is made with a chemical that confuses the brain.

2. Charlie the policeman was charged with which task, in "Recollections of Notable Cops"?
(a) Finding and arresting at least a dozen drunkards every shift.
(b) Organizing the annual policeman's ball.
(c) Investigating a serial pursesnatcher.
(d) Recruiting craftsmen to refurbish the jail.

3. Which is NOT one of the reasons winters were difficult in 1880s Baltimore?
(a) The cold was severe, and furnaces did not help much.
(b) Water pipes could burst.
(c) Cellars could flood.
(d) Snow caused many roofs to cave in.

4. Which historical figure did Mencken ridicule by stating he was known as a "plaster saint"?
(a) Theodore Dreiser.
(b) George Washington.
(c) Napoleon Bonaparte.
(d) Abraham Lincoln.

5. What was the name of H. L. Mencken's brother?
(a) Charlie.
(b) Bud.
(c) Jesse.
(d) Mitch.

6. What did Mencken think about Woodrow Wilson's biography of George Washington?
(a) "Woodrow Wilson couldn't shine George Washington's shoes."
(b) He was relieved that someone finally showed George Washington for who he really was.
(c) It was poorly written and factually inaccurate.
(d) The biography had such a small print run as to be insignificant.

7. Which man did Mencken dub the "Star-Spangled Man"?
(a) George Washington.
(b) John Pershing.
(c) Woodrow Wilson.
(d) William Jennings Bryan.

8. What profession should the truth-teller NOT aspire to, according to Mencken?
(a) A jewelry maker.
(b) The President of the United States.
(c) A bartender.
(d) Owner of a large company.

9. According to "Quid Est Veritas?," what kind of religion professes to know God exactly and completely?
(a) Admirable religions.
(b) American religions.
(c) Perfect religions.
(d) Primitive religions.

10. According to Mencken, what was Christianity's history with lying?
(a) Every sermon uttered by a priest is a lie.
(b) Lying is a great sin before God.
(c) One must lie to oneself in order to adhere to religious beliefs.
(d) Lying is not expressly forbidden, and is oftentimes even encouraged.

11. Which book was Mencken's touchstone into literature?
(a) Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn.
(b) Alexander Dumas' The Three Musketeers.
(c) Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.
(d) Thomas Paine's Common Sense.

12. Which boat captain helped Mencken while in Cuba?
(a) Demetrio.
(b) Ignacio.
(c) Leonhard.
(d) Menocal.

13. How was Theodore Dreiser like Joseph Conrad, according to Mencken?
(a) Both men were inherently optimistic.
(b) Both men shared an innate pessimism.
(c) They both had a love of pirate adventures and the sea life.
(d) They both seemed to hate women.

14. Which of the following could NOT be used to describe Mencken's tone in "Star-Spangled Man"?
(a) Tongue-in-cheek.
(b) Sarcastic.
(c) Sentimental.
(d) Hyperbolic.

15. According to "Text for Newspaper Days," what is modern journalism missing?
(a) A carefree nature.
(b) Proper attention to art and art history.
(c) Proper fact checking.
(d) Multiple points of view.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is democracy's "aim," according to Mencken?

2. Which was described as Mencken's earliest memory?

3. What was the subject of Walt Whitman's "Democratic Vistas"?

4. What quotation did Mencken borrow from Theodore Dreiser in "Cavia Cobaya"?

5. According to "The Skeptic," what do women always bear?

(see the answer keys)

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