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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What skill is Howie particularly proud of?
(a) Stepping on the escalator.
(b) Toasting bread.
(c) Stapling documents.
(d) Smiling.

2. What does Abe joke his shoelaces are made from?
(a) Steel.
(b) Magic material.
(c) Lamb.
(d) Alpaca.

3. Howie compares the grooves on the escalator steps to those one __________.
(a) Shades.
(b) Roads.
(c) Train tracks.
(d) Records.

4. What does Howie watch as he eats popcorn and walks to CVS?
(a) Construction workers.
(b) Buses.
(c) Women.
(d) New cars.

5. Howie considers ___________ might buy classic paperbacks like him.
(a) Serial killers.
(b) Housewives.
(c) Old people.
(d) Cab drivers.

6. Which vending machine does Howie use the most?
(a) Pepsi.
(b) Candy.
(c) Cigarette.
(d) Ice cream sandwich.

7. Which of these things does Howie NOT purchase on his way back from CVS?
(a) Cookie.
(b) Soda.
(c) Hot dog.
(d) Milk.

8. What does Howie purchase from Radio Shack for his first apartment?
(a) Clock.
(b) Batteries.
(c) CD player.
(d) Phone card.

9. How many choices are there in the newest vending machine on the mezzanine?
(a) 35.
(b) 25.
(c) 10.
(d) 12.

10. What is the name of the book Howie reads during his lunch break?
(a) War and Peace.
(b) History of European Morals.
(c) Anthology of Poetry.
(d) Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.

11. What does Howie do with the last ten minutes of his lunch break?
(a) Chat with friends.
(b) Replace shoelaces.
(c) Read.
(d) Sun bathe.

12. How many times has Howie been in the situation of being too nervous to urinate in the men's room?
(a) 45.
(b) 25.
(c) 15.
(d) 35.

13. Where does Abe joke that he gets his shoelaces flow in from daily?
(a) Italy.
(b) Florida.
(c) France.
(d) Texas.

14. In a Chapter 11 footnote, Howie comments on the new tightness of ______ .
(a) New gloves.
(b) Sandwich wrappers.
(c) Straw covers.
(d) Socks.

15. At age twenty-five, what percentage of Howie's thoughts are adult?
(a) 25 percent.
(b) 43 percent.
(c) 12 percent.
(d) 2 percent.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Howie call his observation about the different speeds of the escalator handrail and steps?

2. What invention does Howie praise lavishly while visiting the corporate bathroom?

3. Howie views visiting the corporate men's room as a _________.

4. How much money does Howie decide to actually put towards his Visa bill?

5. Howie sees the design flaw in escalators as the steps being ______.

(see the answer keys)

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