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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is the song someone is whistling in the men's bathroom?
(a) "Tradition."
(b) "I Knew an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly."
(c) "Clementine."
(d) "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."

2. What is the name of the publishing house of the book Howie reads on his lunch break?
(a) Random House.
(b) Penguin.
(c) Simon and Schuster.
(d) Knopf.

3. What invention does Howie praise lavishly while visiting the corporate bathroom?
(a) Self-flushers.
(b) Hand dryers.
(c) Double doors.
(d) Toilet paper perforations.

4. Howie tells a story in Chapter 10 about interrupting a conversation by doing what?
(a) Brushing his teeth.
(b) Urinating loudly.
(c) Tripping.
(d) Passing gas.

5. How many choices are there in the newest vending machine on the mezzanine?
(a) 12.
(b) 10.
(c) 35.
(d) 25.

6. At the beginning of Chapter 12, Howie says he is standing in a _______ pose on the escalator.
(a) George Washington.
(b) Napoleon.
(c) Michael Jordan.
(d) Rodin's "The Thinker".

7. Who does Howie lose the escalator game to once?
(a) Andy Nunn.
(b) Bob Leary.
(c) Abe Ruiz.
(d) Bill Stern.

8. Howie compares CVS to a _________.
(a) Doctor.
(b) Diary.
(c) Medicine cabinet.
(d) Therapist.

9. Which of these things does Howie NOT purchase on his way back from CVS?
(a) Cookie.
(b) Soda.
(c) Milk.
(d) Hot dog.

10. What did Howie hope the new shoelaces were made of?
(a) Cotton.
(b) Silk.
(c) Polyester.
(d) Synthetics.

11. The corporate bathroom is the one place a _____ can feel important.
(a) Man.
(b) Woman.
(c) Janitor.
(d) New hire.

12. What skill is Howie particularly proud of?
(a) Stapling documents.
(b) Smiling.
(c) Stepping on the escalator.
(d) Toasting bread.

13. What vending machine did Howie mourn the loss of?
(a) Hot beverages.
(b) Cigarette.
(c) Pepsi.
(d) Ice cream sandwiches.

14. What else does Howie buy along with his purchase of shoelaces?
(a) Gum.
(b) Magazine.
(c) Shoe polish.
(d) Batteries.

15. Howie considers ___________ might buy classic paperbacks like him.
(a) Cab drivers.
(b) Housewives.
(c) Old people.
(d) Serial killers.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Howie imagine the women doing in the corporate bathroom?

2. What sound does Chapter 10 begin with?

3. How many times a day does Howie typically use the escalator?

4. What record does Howie describe listening to and cleaning with his family?

5. What color are the paperback classics that line Howie's windowsill in his apartment?

(see the answer keys)

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