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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What would Howie steal from parent's closet when he was little?
(a) Sanitary napkins.
(b) High heels.
(c) Pantyhose.
(d) Cigarettes.

2. How much did Howie pay for popcorn?
(a) $.75.
(b) $.50.
(c) $1.
(d) $2.

3. Howie compares the grooves on the escalator steps to those one __________.
(a) Roads.
(b) Records.
(c) Train tracks.
(d) Shades.

4. Who gets the get-well poster for Ray at work?
(a) Abe.
(b) Bill.
(c) Tina.
(d) Howie.

5. What image does Howie conjure to help him urinate under stress?
(a) Escalators.
(b) Going on someone's head.
(c) Rushing rivers.
(d) Water falls.

6. What else does Howie buy along with his purchase of shoelaces?
(a) Magazine.
(b) Gum.
(c) Shoe polish.
(d) Batteries.

7. What color are the paperback classics that line Howie's windowsill in his apartment?
(a) White.
(b) Blue.
(c) Black.
(d) Yellow.

8. Howie considers ___________ might buy classic paperbacks like him.
(a) Cab drivers.
(b) Housewives.
(c) Serial killers.
(d) Old people.

9. How many choices are there in the newest vending machine on the mezzanine?
(a) 35.
(b) 25.
(c) 10.
(d) 12.

10. Who told Howie he should never eat and drink at the same time?
(a) L.
(b) His father.
(c) His mother.
(d) His sister.

11. How many times has Howie been in the situation of being too nervous to urinate in the men's room?
(a) 25.
(b) 35.
(c) 45.
(d) 15.

12. Howie views visiting the corporate men's room as a _________.
(a) Break.
(b) The only fun in his day.
(c) Chore.
(d) Luxury.

13. What is the name of the book Howie reads during his lunch break?
(a) History of European Morals.
(b) Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.
(c) Anthology of Poetry.
(d) War and Peace.

14. What is the song someone is whistling in the men's bathroom?
(a) "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."
(b) "Tradition."
(c) "I Knew an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly."
(d) "Clementine."

15. What does Abe joke his shoelaces are made from?
(a) Lamb.
(b) Alpaca.
(c) Steel.
(d) Magic material.

Short Answer Questions

1. Howie desires to gain a encyclopedic knowledge of the relationship between _______.

2. What does Howie consider to be an honor to use in the corporate bathroom?

3. How old was Howie when he would deliberately leave his shoes untied on escalators?

4. What color is the soap in the corporate bathroom?

5. What does Howie use as a bookmark for the book he reads at lunch?

(see the answer keys)

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