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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is Tender's new television show called?
(a) Peace of Mind.
(b) Tender Branson's Daily Thoughts.
(c) Survivor.
(d) Saved.

2. What does Fertility put on Tender's body on their trip?
(a) New clothes.
(b) Sunscreen.
(c) Moisturizer.
(d) A tattoo.

3. What does ChemoSolv supposedly do?
(a) Cure cancer.
(b) Clear chemicals from the body.
(c) Grow hair.
(d) Get rid of pimples.

4. Where is the Creedish land located?
(a) Nebraska.
(b) Washington.
(c) Montana.
(d) Utah.

5. Complete the sentence. Fertility tells Tender that she will not always be with Tender physically, but ______.
(a) She will always know where to find him.
(b) She will always just be a phone call away.
(c) She will always love him.
(d) He will always be in her heart.

6. Why does Adam get mad at Tender on their cross country journey?
(a) For becoming a superstar.
(b) For being a cry baby.
(c) For letting Fertility get away.
(d) For eating too much.

7. What prediction or "miracle" does Tender announce at the Super Bowl?
(a) The Cardinals will beat the Colts by 10 points.
(b) The Cardinals will score two touchdowns.
(c) Both teams will forfeit.
(d) The Colts will beat the Cardinals by 3 points.

8. What does Tender say that his spots on television make him feel like?
(a) A phony.
(b) A television newscaster.
(c) A weatherman.
(d) His agent.

9. Where does Tender bury Adam?
(a) Underneath a local bridge.
(b) In the ocean.
(c) In the family plot at the cemetery.
(d) Underneath piles of pornography.

10. What disaster does Tender choose to reveal as his miracle?
(a) An oil tanker capsizing.
(b) A swarm of a zillion killer bees.
(c) A shark attack.
(d) A tanning salon explosion.

11. What is Fertility carrying around with her at the airport?
(a) The Book of Very Common Prayer.
(b) An urn and a gun.
(c) A new daily planner.
(d) A knife and a cell phone.

12. According to Adam, what will Tender need to do to not be a slave any longer?
(a) Kill himself.
(b) Get a real job.
(c) Rob a bank.
(d) Have sex.

13. What does Tender hope will happen to him if he gets caught?
(a) He will get a short prison sentence.
(b) He will get the electric chair.
(c) They will only give him a fine.
(d) He will be a hero.

14. Who writes Tender's speeches and hymns?
(a) A marketing team.
(b) Tender.
(c) The agent.
(d) The PR team.

15. What is the first rebellion of a young person, according to Adam?
(a) Drinking.
(b) Sex.
(c) Smoking.
(d) Skipping school.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who does Tender come to realize that the masses do not want to worship?

2. When did the media team write Tender's autobiography?

3. What has happened to Tender as a result of all the steroids and drugs he has taken?

4. How many copies of the Book of Very Common Prayer are sold?

5. What event does Fertility write in her daily planner before she goes to catch a plane?

(see the answer keys)

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