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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. The person in the newspaper article was robbed of $300 and what?
(a) A clock radio.
(b) A jackhammer.
(c) A wig.
(d) Golf clubs.

2. What does the author's mother run over while taking him home from play practice?
(a) A cat.
(b) A squirrel.
(c) A child.
(d) A dog.

3. What denomination is the money in Lou Sedaris' dresser drawer?
(a) Silver dollars.
(b) Tens.
(c) Twenties.
(d) One-dollar bills.

4. Who does the author's mother leave a video tape for once she's passed away?
(a) Amy.
(b) Lisa.
(c) Gretchen.
(d) Sharon.

5. What does the narrator do with his shoe obsessively in the second essay?
(a) Crosses himself with it.
(b) Taps his head.
(c) Cradles it.
(d) Throws it at peers.

6. What is the name of the patient who was a paranoid Tuscan?
(a) Emily.
(b) Dixie.
(c) Paola.
(d) Sarah.

7. What has happened to the narrator's sisters in the first essay?
(a) They joined the circus.
(b) They ran away.
(c) They were imprisoned.
(d) They were kidnapped.

8. What kind of car has the author's father bought in the sixth essay?
(a) A Mercedes.
(b) A BMW.
(c) An Alfa Romeo.
(d) A porsche.

9. How much money is stolen from the author's father's dresser drawer in "True Detective"?
(a) $20.
(b) $200.
(c) $112.
(d) $40.

10. What does Ya Ya live above?
(a) A pharmacy.
(b) An arcade.
(c) A Wal-Mart.
(d) A candy store.

11. What is the Cyclops' occupation?
(a) Shoe salesman.
(b) Tie salesman.
(c) News editor.
(d) DJ.

12. What does the author's grandmother believe happened to her pet?
(a) It was eaten by a cat.
(b) It committed suicide.
(c) It was run over.
(d) It caught on fire.

13. Who does "Ya Ya" refer to?
(a) The author's mother.
(b) The author's grandmother.
(c) The author's girlfriend.
(d) The author's dog.

14. What does the author say he has to tie over his eyes to sleep at night in the first essay?
(a) A sock.
(b) A sash.
(c) A bandana.
(d) A mask.

15. Who does the author's father "dupe" into going to the golf course in essay six?
(a) Lou Jr. and David.
(b) Amy and David.
(c) Lisa and David.
(d) Bruno and David.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who does Ya Ya's roommate at the home say she is the step-sister to?

2. What is the name of the church the author speaks of in the first essay?

3. What does the author's father collect in a goldfish bowl for good luck?

4. What is the author's youngest brother's name?

5. What is the author's mother's name?

(see the answer keys)

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