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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How does the author's father say his friend lost a foot?
(a) Mowing the lawn.
(b) Using a saw.
(c) Driving.
(d) Getting struck by lightning.

2. What kind of car has the author's father bought in the sixth essay?
(a) A BMW.
(b) A Mercedes.
(c) An Alfa Romeo.
(d) A porsche.

3. How does the reverend deliver his sermon in the first essay?
(a) On television.
(b) On horseback.
(c) In the woods.
(d) On a Great Dane.

4. Where does the author's mother's family live?
(a) Binghamton, NY.
(b) Mt. Ida, NY.
(c) Rochester, NY.
(d) Philadelphia, PA.

5. Where does the author's father vehemently object to the author moving?
(a) Mexico.
(b) New York.
(c) California.
(d) Wisconsin.

6. What do the author's mother and older sister share a love for?
(a) Romance novels.
(b) Detectives.
(c) Monster movies.
(d) Spaghetti.

7. What has happened to the narrator's sisters in the first essay?
(a) They ran away.
(b) They were kidnapped.
(c) They joined the circus.
(d) They were imprisoned.

8. Who does the author's father "dupe" into going to the golf course in essay six?
(a) Bruno and David.
(b) Amy and David.
(c) Lisa and David.
(d) Lou Jr. and David.

9. Where is the author's father's second hiding place?
(a) Under the bed.
(b) The attic.
(c) The basement.
(d) The shed.

10. What is the name of the golf course where the author's father takes him and his sister in "The Women's Open"?
(a) Strawberry Greens.
(b) Pinehurst.
(c) Bowling Green.
(d) Oakwood.

11. Who calls the rent house where the narrator's family lived, "our own little corner of hell"?
(a) His father.
(b) His mother.
(c) Himself.
(d) His sister.

12. Who's tee does the author's father encourage Lisa to go get?
(a) Woods.
(b) Snead.
(c) Palmer.
(d) Jackson.

13. What is the name of the patient who was a paranoid Tuscan?
(a) Paola.
(b) Emily.
(c) Sarah.
(d) Dixie.

14. Who curses at the author's father in "The Women's Open"?
(a) Amy.
(b) A pro golfer.
(c) The author.
(d) Lisa.

15. What does the narrator say is his best asset in the first essay?
(a) His skin.
(b) His eyes.
(c) His hair.
(d) His nose.

Short Answer Questions

1. What has one of the household members taken to using as toilet paper in "True Detective"?

2. How does Ya Ya start a fire while at the community living apartment?

3. What is the name of the sanitarium in Raleigh?

4. What is the name of the author's father's friend with the missing eye?

5. What denomination is the money in Lou Sedaris' dresser drawer?

(see the answer keys)

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