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This quiz consists of 5 multiple choice and 5 short answer questions through Dinah the Christmas Whore and Planet of the Apes.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the author's grandmother believe happened to her pet?
(a) It caught on fire.
(b) It committed suicide.
(c) It was eaten by a cat.
(d) It was run over.

2. What do the narrator and his brother come to view their grandmother as?
(a) An ATM machine.
(b) An embarassment.
(c) A mummy.
(d) A clown.

3. What is the name of the prostitute that Lisa brings back to the Sedaris home?
(a) Maebelle.
(b) Ethyl.
(c) Sarah.
(d) Dinah.

4. What does the author say he wanted a home with, as opposed to a fence?
(a) A moat.
(b) A lion.
(c) A dungeon.
(d) A fortress.

5. What kind of car has the author's father bought in the sixth essay?
(a) An Alfa Romeo.
(b) A porsche.
(c) A Mercedes.
(d) A BMW.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the name of the girl the narrator befriends in college?

2. Where does the author's father store his money in the dresser?

3. What does the author say his mother's profile is featured on in the first essay?

4. Who curses at the author's father in "The Women's Open"?

5. Who's tee does the author's father encourage Lisa to go get?

(see the answer key)

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