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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What frightens the narrator most about his job as an elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Wearing an elf costume
(b) Clocking in on one of the store's computers
(c) Having a child throw up on him
(d) Working the cash register

2. Who did the narrator of "Jamboree" believe would want to "cash in" on his sister's success?
(a) His brother-in-law
(b) Their step-mother
(c) Their mother
(d) Their father

3. What reason does the narrator of "After Malison" give for smoking in the hotel lobby?
(a) She says she is waiting for Malison.
(b) She says she is nervous about meeting Malison.
(c) She says her husband doesn't like her smoking in their room.
(d) She says it's too cold to smoke outside.

4. What is Don's legal name in "Season's Greetings...."?
(a) Relinquish Satan
(b) Timothy, Jr.
(c) Satan Speaks
(d) Don

5. What is the author's opinion of his mother's housekeeper's skills in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) He is ambivalent towards her.
(b) He believes she is the most skilled housekeeper he has ever seen.
(c) He believes she spends too much time vacuuming.
(d) He believes she is a lazy, incompetent housekeeper.

6. Why does the boy in the elevator refuse the Cheetos in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) They are stale.
(b) They are not the curly kind.
(c) He wanted potato chips.
(d) They were crushed.

7. Who does Sedaris impersonate singing "Away in the Manger" while working with Santa Santa in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Etta James
(b) Santa Santa
(c) Bob Hope
(d) Billie Holiday

8. Why does Vicki lose her job dispatching buses in "Jamboree"?
(a) She is late to work because she oversleeps.
(b) She leaves her job when her baby is born.
(c) She is having an affair with one of the mechanics.
(d) She is rude to the people riding the buses.

9. Who are the readers of "Giantess" magazine?
(a) People who love erotic stories about large women
(b) People who want tips for slaying giantesses
(c) People who secretly want to be giants
(d) People who want tips for becoming giantesses

10. Who is Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Kevin's girlfriend
(b) Kevin's illegitimate daughter
(c) Clifford's illegitimate daughter
(d) The Dunbar's maid

11. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A daiquiri
(b) A soda
(c) A martini
(d) A boilermaker

12. Why is the author uncomfortable washing the blinds in the bathroom with G.L. in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) G.L. is naked.
(b) The bathroom is extremely small.
(c) The cleaning chemicals will make G.L. sick.
(d) G.L. is watching television.

13. What genre is "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family"?
(a) A short story
(b) A poem
(c) A speech
(d) A letter

14. What do the siblings find in sealed boxes after their mother dies in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) All of the gifts they sent her over the years
(b) Books
(c) Memories of their childhood
(d) Their mother's secret letter collection

15. Why does the narrator's father refuse to see his grandson in "Jamboree"?
(a) He dislikes his son-in-law.
(b) He does not want to be around his son.
(c) He is upset his daughter didn't invite him to her wedding.
(d) He believes he is too young to be a grandfather.

Short Answer Questions

1. Where is the camera located in Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?

2. Where does Marty park his motorcycle in "Jamboree"?

3. Who does Vicki end up marrying in "Jamboree"?

4. Why is the narrator of "After Malison" desperate to talk with Malison one-on-one?

5. How does Malison react when he discovers the master's writing class is reading O'Flannery in "After Malison"?

(see the answer keys)

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