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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Which celebrity does the narrator feel the need to point out to visitors to Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Simone from "General Hospital"
(b) Goldie Hawn
(c) Phil Collins
(d) Walter Cronkite

2. Which of the following is NOT an item in the narrator's duffel bag in "After Malison"?
(a) A change of clothes
(b) Malison's books
(c) Birth control
(d) Bethany's manuscript

3. Which of the following is NOT a behavior exhibited by parents in the photo area in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Ordering their children where to look during pictures
(b) Posing their children for pictures
(c) Grooming of their children
(d) Yelling at their children

4. Who does Sedaris impersonate singing "Away in the Manger" while working with Santa Santa in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Billie Holiday
(b) Santa Santa
(c) Bob Hope
(d) Etta James

5. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A martini
(b) A soda
(c) A daiquiri
(d) A boilermaker

6. Why does the narrator's father refuse to see his grandson in "Jamboree"?
(a) He believes he is too young to be a grandfather.
(b) He dislikes his son-in-law.
(c) He does not want to be around his son.
(d) He is upset his daughter didn't invite him to her wedding.

7. Where is Mrs. Dunbar, supposedly, when Don is killed in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) In bed
(b) At her neighbor, Cherise's house
(c) At the Dunbar's home
(d) Christmas shopping

8. What is the only unique thing about people according to the narrator in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Our interests
(b) Our minds
(c) Our fingerprints
(d) Our DNA

9. What is the author's opinion of his mother's housekeeper's skills in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) He believes she spends too much time vacuuming.
(b) He believes she is the most skilled housekeeper he has ever seen.
(c) He is ambivalent towards her.
(d) He believes she is a lazy, incompetent housekeeper.

10. Who is Lonnie Tipit in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) One of the Dunbars' neighbors
(b) A teacher at the Dunbar children's school
(c) Khe Sahn's uncle
(d) A Vietnamese interpreter

11. What does Malison name each of the characters in his second novel in "After Malison"?
(a) Malison
(b) Professor Nobody
(c) A. Davenport
(d) Smithy Smithy

12. Why does Marty have Vicki's cat put to sleep in "Jamboree"?
(a) He hates cats.
(b) He believes the cat will kill his newborn baby.
(c) He is allergic to cats.
(d) He does not think he can love the cat as much as his baby.

13. Why does Vicki lose her job dispatching buses in "Jamboree"?
(a) She is having an affair with one of the mechanics.
(b) She leaves her job when her baby is born.
(c) She is late to work because she oversleeps.
(d) She is rude to the people riding the buses.

14. What genre is "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family"?
(a) A poem
(b) A letter
(c) A speech
(d) A short story

15. What does the narrator notice about all of the people hired as elves in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) They are all short.
(b) They are all Caucasian.
(c) They are all 18-25 years old.
(d) They are all unemployed actors.

Short Answer Questions

1. What reason does the author give for wanting to work at UPS in "Santaland Diaries"?

2. Which of the following is NOT a topic of discussion when the narrator works renovating an apartment?

3. Why is the narrator of "After Malison" desperate to talk with Malison one-on-one?

4. What is the "Oh My God, Corner" in "Santaland Diaries"?

5. What does the narrator find in a copy of Mein Kampf in "Barrel Fever"?

(see the answer keys)

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