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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Why is the author uncomfortable working as Exit Elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) He does like to have to confront rude customers.
(b) He doesn't want to rush people out of Santa Land.
(c) He gets cold working near the open door.
(d) Children throw things at him.

2. What is Snowball, the elf known for in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Being overly perky with the customers
(b) Flooding the locker room bathroom
(c) Getting undressed in the middle of the locker room
(d) Flirting with the other elves and the Santas

3. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A boilermaker
(b) A daiquiri
(c) A martini
(d) A soda

4. In "Season's Greetings", what television show does Khe Sahn learn most of her English from?
(a) Sesame Street
(b) One Life to Live
(c) MTV Cribs
(d) American Idol

5. What is the only unique thing about people according to the narrator in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Our minds
(b) Our fingerprints
(c) Our DNA
(d) Our interests

6. Which of the following is NOT a topic of discussion when the narrator works renovating an apartment?
(a) Death
(b) Art
(c) Windows
(d) Women

7. Which of the following words/phrases is NOT part of Khe Sahn's vocabulary according to Jocelyn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Shiny
(b) Daddy
(c) Five dollar
(d) Thank you

8. Which of the following was NOT in the file drawer labeled "POISON" in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Adolph Hitler's book
(b) Cruel letters from Dolph to his mother
(c) Mean letters to the narrator and his siblings
(d) New Year's resolutions written on index cards

9. Who did the narrator of "Jamboree" believe would want to "cash in" on his sister's success?
(a) His brother-in-law
(b) Their father
(c) Their step-mother
(d) Their mother

10. What is the author's opinion of his mother's housekeeper's skills in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) He is ambivalent towards her.
(b) He believes she is the most skilled housekeeper he has ever seen.
(c) He believes she spends too much time vacuuming.
(d) He believes she is a lazy, incompetent housekeeper.

11. Which of the following is NOT a behavior exhibited by parents in the photo area in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Posing their children for pictures
(b) Ordering their children where to look during pictures
(c) Yelling at their children
(d) Grooming of their children

12. What excuse does Malison give to Bethany for not going out for a drink with her in "After Malison"?
(a) He is not interested in her
(b) His wife is ill
(c) He has another reading to attend
(d) His wife is about to give birth to their baby

13. Which of the following is NOT an item in the narrator's duffel bag in "After Malison"?
(a) A change of clothes
(b) Birth control
(c) Bethany's manuscript
(d) Malison's books

14. Where does a mother instruct her son to pee in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) On Santa's lap
(b) In the corner of Santa's house
(c) On the Magic Star
(d) On the artificial snow

15. Why does the narrator's mother ask her husband to go back to their house when she is headed to the hospital with pneumonia in "Diary of A Smoker"?
(a) To say goodbye to her children
(b) To get her cigarettes
(c) To smoke one last cigarette
(d) To get something she forgot

Short Answer Questions

1. Who is Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?

2. What does the narrator change his elf name to when he has bad days at work in "Santaland Diaries"?

3. According to the narrator, what type of adults most often visit Santa in "Santaland Diaries"?

4. Why is the narrator of "Jamboree" staying with his sister?

5. Why does the narrator drop out of school in "Jamboree"?

(see the answer keys)

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