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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Where does Marty park his motorcycle in "Jamboree"?
(a) In the baby's nursery
(b) At his father-in-law's house
(c) In the garage
(d) In his bedroom

2. Which of the following is NOT a suggestion the editor of Giantess magazine gives the narrator in "Giantess"?
(a) Focus his writing on extremely large women
(b) Focus his stories on the destruction caused by giantesses
(c) Get straight to the turn-on in his writing
(d) Stop writing silly stories

3. What does the old man say to the narrator that makes her vomit in "After Malison"?
(a) Malison is a fraud.
(b) Everyone is transparent.
(c) There are many unique,complex people in the world.
(d) Writing is a fool's profession.

4. Who is the narrator in "After Malison"?
(a) Professor Brouner
(b) Malison
(c) Anastasia
(d) Bethany

5. What is the author's elf name in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Usher
(b) Sleighbell
(c) Crumpet
(d) Walrus

6. What is the Magic Star in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Where children tell Santa what they want for Christmas
(b) Where children share their wishes
(c) Where the line into Santa Land begins
(d) Where people stand to see Santa through a window

7. Why does the narrator of "After Malison" lose her excitement about Malison's reading?
(a) She believes he is a fraud.
(b) She is insulted that he would register under the name of a character at his hotel.
(c) She believes he will be too tired from visiting the college campus.
(d) She sees him with the college dean.

8. Who is the narrator of "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Jocelyn Dunbar
(b) Clifford Dunbar
(c) Jacki Dunbar
(d) Khe Shan Dunbar

9. What is Snowball, the elf known for in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Flooding the locker room bathroom
(b) Getting undressed in the middle of the locker room
(c) Flirting with the other elves and the Santas
(d) Being overly perky with the customers

10. What does Khe Sahn wear to Thanksgiving dinner in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) A bikini
(b) An extremely short dress
(c) A dress Jocelyn made for her
(d) Nothing

11. Why does the narrator drop out of school in "Jamboree"?
(a) He is failing all of his classes.
(b) He wants to pursue a career in the music industry.
(c) To help his sister raise her son.
(d) To work in his brother-in-law's business.

12. Why is the author uncomfortable working as Exit Elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) He does like to have to confront rude customers.
(b) Children throw things at him.
(c) He doesn't want to rush people out of Santa Land.
(d) He gets cold working near the open door.

13. What is the "Oh My God, Corner" in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) The spot in Macy's where people notice the beautiful Christmas decorations.
(b) The spot in Macy's where the narrator likes to stand while working as an elf.
(c) The spot in Macy's where most children vomit.
(d) The spot in Macy's where people realize how long the line to see Santa is.

14. Which of the following is NOT a topic of discussion when the narrator works renovating an apartment?
(a) Women
(b) Death
(c) Windows
(d) Art

15. How does the author meet G.L. in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) He meets him in his apartment's elevator.
(b) He is sent to clean his blinds.
(c) He is a friend of Lena Payne's.
(d) He is sent to unpack his books.

Short Answer Questions

1. What reason does the author give for wanting to work at UPS in "Santaland Diaries"?

2. Who does Vicki end up marrying in "Jamboree"?

3. What does the narrator notice about all of the people hired as elves in "Santaland Diaries"?

4. Which celebrity does the narrator feel the need to point out to visitors to Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?

5. What does the narrator change his elf name to when he has bad days at work in "Santaland Diaries"?

(see the answer keys)

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