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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who is Cassandra Lane in "After Malison"?
(a) The narrator's friend from New York City
(b) Malison's former girlfriend
(c) A woman in the audience at Malison's reading
(d) Malison's current girlfriend

2. What is the "Oh My God, Corner" in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) The spot in Macy's where the narrator likes to stand while working as an elf.
(b) The spot in Macy's where people realize how long the line to see Santa is.
(c) The spot in Macy's where people notice the beautiful Christmas decorations.
(d) The spot in Macy's where most children vomit.

3. According to Jocelyn Dunbar in "Season's Greetings...", who is the most intelligent of her children"
(a) Khe Sahn
(b) Jackelyn
(c) Kevin
(d) Kyle

4. Who is the narrator in "After Malison"?
(a) Anastasia
(b) Bethany
(c) Professor Brouner
(d) Malison

5. Who was Lena Payne in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) A maid in the author's apartment complex
(b) The author's childhood housekeeper
(c) A nanny in the author's apartment complex
(d) The author's mother

6. Who are the readers of "Giantess" magazine?
(a) People who love erotic stories about large women
(b) People who secretly want to be giants
(c) People who want tips for slaying giantesses
(d) People who want tips for becoming giantesses

7. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A martini
(b) A daiquiri
(c) A boilermaker
(d) A soda

8. Who is the narrator of "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Jacki Dunbar
(b) Khe Shan Dunbar
(c) Jocelyn Dunbar
(d) Clifford Dunbar

9. Who are the "really bitter elves" according to the author in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Those who worked in high power jobs before the recession
(b) Want-to-be actors and actresses
(c) College students
(d) Those who have to work with "Santa Santa"

10. Why is the author uncomfortable working as Exit Elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) He doesn't want to rush people out of Santa Land.
(b) Children throw things at him.
(c) He gets cold working near the open door.
(d) He does like to have to confront rude customers.

11. Where is the camera located in Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) In the fireplace
(b) In the Magic Star
(c) In Santa's hat
(d) In the elf's hat

12. Who is Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Kevin's girlfriend
(b) The Dunbar's maid
(c) Kevin's illegitimate daughter
(d) Clifford's illegitimate daughter

13. What does the narrator notice about all of the people hired as elves in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) They are all 18-25 years old.
(b) They are all short.
(c) They are all unemployed actors.
(d) They are all Caucasian.

14. Why does the narrator drop out of school in "Jamboree"?
(a) To work in his brother-in-law's business.
(b) He is failing all of his classes.
(c) To help his sister raise her son.
(d) He wants to pursue a career in the music industry.

15. What do the siblings find in sealed boxes after their mother dies in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Memories of their childhood
(b) All of the gifts they sent her over the years
(c) Books
(d) Their mother's secret letter collection

Short Answer Questions

1. What happens to the curtains of Marilyn Notkin's apartment in "Giantess"?

2. What is the last sight visitors see before going into Santa's house in "Santaland Diaries"?

3. Where is Mrs. Dunbar, supposedly, when Don is killed in "Season's Greetings..."?

4. Which of the following was NOT in the file drawer labeled "POISON" in "Barrel Fever"?

5. Why does the boy in the elevator refuse the Cheetos in "The Curly Kind"?

(see the answer keys)

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