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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What did the narrator's sister, Vicki aspire to be when she was younger? ("Jamboree")
(a) A dancer
(b) A designer
(c) A singer
(d) A record producer

2. Why does Jocelyn repeatedly yell at Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) She believes Khe Sahn is hard of hearing.
(b) She is always angry at Khe Sahn.
(c) She despises Khe Sahn.
(d) She believes it will help her understand English better.

3. Where does Marty park his motorcycle in "Jamboree"?
(a) In the baby's nursery
(b) At his father-in-law's house
(c) In the garage
(d) In his bedroom

4. Where is Mrs. Dunbar, supposedly, when Don is killed in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Christmas shopping
(b) At the Dunbar's home
(c) At her neighbor, Cherise's house
(d) In bed

5. What reason does the author give for wanting to work at UPS in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) He desperately needs money.
(b) He hears they have excellent benefits.
(c) He likes the uniform.
(d) He sees it as an opportunity to utilize his leadership skills.

6. Who is the narrator of "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Dolph's mother
(b) Gill Pullen
(c) Hope
(d) Dolph

7. Why does the boy in the elevator refuse the Cheetos in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) They were crushed.
(b) They are stale.
(c) He wanted potato chips.
(d) They are not the curly kind.

8. What frightens the narrator most about his job as an elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Having a child throw up on him
(b) Wearing an elf costume
(c) Working the cash register
(d) Clocking in on one of the store's computers

9. What genre is "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family"?
(a) A letter
(b) A short story
(c) A poem
(d) A speech

10. In "Season's Greetings", what television show does Khe Sahn learn most of her English from?
(a) One Life to Live
(b) Sesame Street
(c) MTV Cribs
(d) American Idol

11. Which of the following is NOT a behavior exhibited by parents in the photo area in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Yelling at their children
(b) Ordering their children where to look during pictures
(c) Grooming of their children
(d) Posing their children for pictures

12. Why does the narrator of "After Malison" agree to let the old man sit at her table at the hotel bar?
(a) She wants to study him for a piece of writing she is working on.
(b) She feels sorry for him.
(c) She believes he is Malison.
(d) She wants to get him to buy her a drink.

13. Why is the narrator of "After Malison" desperate to talk with Malison one-on-one?
(a) She is trying to keep him away from her friend Bethany.
(b) She wants him to read her new novel.
(c) She believes she understands his work in a way others do not.
(d) She is in love with him.

14. Why does Marty have Vicki's cat put to sleep in "Jamboree"?
(a) He is allergic to cats.
(b) He believes the cat will kill his newborn baby.
(c) He does not think he can love the cat as much as his baby.
(d) He hates cats.

15. What does the narrator find in a copy of Mein Kampf in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) His mother's yearly New Year's resolutions
(b) Pictures of him as a baby
(c) His mother's racist manifesto
(d) A letter from his mother

Short Answer Questions

1. Why is the author uncomfortable working as Exit Elf in "Santaland Diaries"?

2. What role did Sleighbell, the elf play on "One Life to Live" in "Santaland Diaries"?

3. Who does Sedaris impersonate singing "Away in the Manger" while working with Santa Santa in "Santaland Diaries"?

4. Where did Malison grow up in "After Malison"?

5. Why does Vicki drop out of high school in "Jamboree"?

(see the answer keys)

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