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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A boilermaker
(b) A daiquiri
(c) A martini
(d) A soda

2. What excuse does Malison give to Bethany for not going out for a drink with her in "After Malison"?
(a) His wife is ill
(b) He is not interested in her
(c) His wife is about to give birth to their baby
(d) He has another reading to attend

3. What does Khe Sahn wear to Thanksgiving dinner in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) A dress Jocelyn made for her
(b) A bikini
(c) Nothing
(d) An extremely short dress

4. What does the old man say to the narrator that makes her vomit in "After Malison"?
(a) Malison is a fraud.
(b) There are many unique,complex people in the world.
(c) Everyone is transparent.
(d) Writing is a fool's profession.

5. What do the siblings find in sealed boxes after their mother dies in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Memories of their childhood
(b) All of the gifts they sent her over the years
(c) Their mother's secret letter collection
(d) Books

6. What role did Sleighbell, the elf play on "One Life to Live" in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) A doctor
(b) Tina
(c) An elf
(d) A flamenco dancer

7. Why does Marty have Vicki's cat put to sleep in "Jamboree"?
(a) He is allergic to cats.
(b) He believes the cat will kill his newborn baby.
(c) He hates cats.
(d) He does not think he can love the cat as much as his baby.

8. What color does the narrator paint the baby's nursery in "Jamboree"?
(a) Pink
(b) Orange
(c) Yellow
(d) Blue

9. Why did Vicki quit chorus during her sophomore year of high school in "Jamboree"?
(a) She decided to take Art instead.
(b) Her brother talked her out of enrolling in chorus.
(c) She hated her music teacher.
(d) The music teacher told her she had no talent.

10. Who are the readers of "Giantess" magazine?
(a) People who want tips for becoming giantesses
(b) People who secretly want to be giants
(c) People who want tips for slaying giantesses
(d) People who love erotic stories about large women

11. What reason does the narrator of "After Malison" give for smoking in the hotel lobby?
(a) She says she is nervous about meeting Malison.
(b) She says it's too cold to smoke outside.
(c) She says her husband doesn't like her smoking in their room.
(d) She says she is waiting for Malison.

12. Which of the following was NOT in the file drawer labeled "POISON" in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Cruel letters from Dolph to his mother
(b) New Year's resolutions written on index cards
(c) Mean letters to the narrator and his siblings
(d) Adolph Hitler's book

13. Why is the author uncomfortable washing the blinds in the bathroom with G.L. in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) The bathroom is extremely small.
(b) G.L. is naked.
(c) The cleaning chemicals will make G.L. sick.
(d) G.L. is watching television.

14. Why does the narrator's mother ask her husband to go back to their house when she is headed to the hospital with pneumonia in "Diary of A Smoker"?
(a) To get something she forgot
(b) To say goodbye to her children
(c) To get her cigarettes
(d) To smoke one last cigarette

15. According to Jocelyn Dunbar in "Season's Greetings...", who is the most intelligent of her children"
(a) Kyle
(b) Jackelyn
(c) Kevin
(d) Khe Sahn

Short Answer Questions

1. Which of the following is NOT a suggestion the editor of Giantess magazine gives the narrator in "Giantess"?

2. What does Sedaris notice happens to the giantess characters in the stories as they grow in "Giantess"?

3. How does the author's bedroom differ from the rest of his childhood home in "The Curly Kind"?

4. What does Malison name each of the characters in his second novel in "After Malison"?

5. Who are the "really bitter elves" according to the author in "Santaland Diaries"?

(see the answer keys)

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