Chipped Beef and A Plague of Tics
• Chipped Beef: At one point, the Sedaris sisters are kidnapped, and the family decides to allow the kidnappers to keep the girls since it is beneath their character to negotiate with terrorists.
• Mrs. Sedaris yells at David to stop dressing up the cat because the costume makes the feline look like a French whore and David's mother claims their last cat committed suicide because the cat couldn't stand David any more and decided to end it all.
• Attending church is an event for the Sedaris family, although the family is so incredibly attractive that no one pays any attention to the reverend or the sermon, and eventually, the family has to move to the front pew, their backs to the rest of the congregation. It is the only hope the reverend has of regaining the stage.
• Mrs. Sedaris is inconsolable...
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