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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to the narrator of "Santaland Diaries", who is "overall the cutest elf"?
(a) Sleighbell
(b) Puff
(c) Crumpet
(d) Snowball

2. Who is the narrator of "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Dolph
(b) Hope
(c) Gill Pullen
(d) Dolph's mother

3. What frightens the narrator most about his job as an elf in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Clocking in on one of the store's computers
(b) Having a child throw up on him
(c) Working the cash register
(d) Wearing an elf costume

4. Who was Lena Payne in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) A nanny in the author's apartment complex
(b) The author's childhood housekeeper
(c) A maid in the author's apartment complex
(d) The author's mother

5. Which of the following was NOT in the file drawer labeled "POISON" in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Adolph Hitler's book
(b) Cruel letters from Dolph to his mother
(c) Mean letters to the narrator and his siblings
(d) New Year's resolutions written on index cards

6. Which celebrity does the narrator feel the need to point out to visitors to Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Walter Cronkite
(b) Phil Collins
(c) Goldie Hawn
(d) Simone from "General Hospital"

7. What does the narrator notice about all of the people hired as elves in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) They are all short.
(b) They are all unemployed actors.
(c) They are all Caucasian.
(d) They are all 18-25 years old.

8. Where did Malison grow up in "After Malison"?
(a) Los Angeles
(b) Chesterton
(c) Rotunda Surf
(d) New York City

9. Who is the narrator in "After Malison"?
(a) Professor Brouner
(b) Malison
(c) Anastasia
(d) Bethany

10. What does Hugh require that the narrator do each time he smokes in "Diary of a Smoker"?
(a) Go outside
(b) Blow the smoke out of the window
(c) Consider the effects of second-hand smoke
(d) Open all the windows

11. What does the narrator order at the hotel bar in "After Malison"?
(a) A boilermaker
(b) A soda
(c) A daiquiri
(d) A martini

12. In "Season's Greetings", what television show does Khe Sahn learn most of her English from?
(a) MTV Cribs
(b) Sesame Street
(c) One Life to Live
(d) American Idol

13. Why is the author uncomfortable washing the blinds in the bathroom with G.L. in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) G.L. is naked.
(b) G.L. is watching television.
(c) The cleaning chemicals will make G.L. sick.
(d) The bathroom is extremely small.

14. Why does the narrator's father refuse to see his grandson in "Jamboree"?
(a) He does not want to be around his son.
(b) He dislikes his son-in-law.
(c) He believes he is too young to be a grandfather.
(d) He is upset his daughter didn't invite him to her wedding.

15. Who is Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) The Dunbar's maid
(b) Kevin's girlfriend
(c) Kevin's illegitimate daughter
(d) Clifford's illegitimate daughter

Short Answer Questions

1. Where does Marty park his motorcycle in "Jamboree"?

2. Who is Cassandra Lane in "After Malison"?

3. What is the title of the magazine the narrator's sister gives him in "Giantess"?

4. Who is Timothy Speaks in "Season's Greetings..."?

5. How does Malison react when he discovers the master's writing class is reading O'Flannery in "After Malison"?

(see the answer keys)

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