Summary

In the section, “Stupid People Should Never Read Books,” Austin writes about the series of events that led to his first kiss from Shann. He’d been called into the headmaster’s office for writing a report about the book “The Chocolate War” which included references to Catholic boys who masturbated. The headmaster lectured Austin on the physical and spiritual weakness caused by masturbation. He blamed armies losing wars and homosexuality on masturbation. Both the boys and girls were given talks about the subject because of Austin’s report. After the lectures, Shann slipped Austin a note telling him she loved “The Chocolate War” and wanted to hang out with him. They kissed later that day.

In the section “The Death-Ray Gun” Austin climbed into the backseat of Austin’s Explorer with...