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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who sends a constant barrage of paradoxical notices to Dirk in the mail?
(a) His brother.
(b) The government.
(c) American Express.
(d) Coca-Cola.

2. What does the nurse say is rumored of Howard Bell?
(a) That he has eyes in the back of his head.
(b) That he is in a pact with the devil.
(c) That he is a saint.
(d) That he eats worms every day.

3. What does Kate ask if she will need in Asgard before they go?
(a) A blanket.
(b) An ashtray.
(c) A coat.
(d) A snack.

4. How does the author describe the Midland Grand Hotel?
(a) As an Art Deco trash compactor.
(b) As a huge, dark Gothic Fantasy of a building.
(c) As an epic shrine to mediocrity.
(d) As a colossal dump.

5. What does Odin say of being a god in reference to the white linen sheets he gets at Woodshead?
(a) It is unclean.
(b) It is resourceful.
(c) It is superior.
(d) It is powerful.

6. What song does Neil suddenly erupt into during Kate's conversation with Thor after his bath?
(a) "Tosca".
(b) "Emperor".
(c) "Rheinfahrt".
(d) Paganini's 24th "Caprice".

7. As Dirk turns through Islington, he begins the long haul past _____.
(a) Hamburger joints and vision centers.
(b) Pizza restaurants and estate agents.
(c) Pet groomers and hair salons.
(d) Laundromats and car repair shops.

8. What was the subject of the "big talk" Odin used to endure at Valhalla?
(a) Maidens being captured.
(b) Things being riven.
(c) Ancestors being summoned.
(d) Weapons being fashioned.

9. Which neighbor of Kate's has recently died of a heart attack?
(a) Mr. Black.
(b) Mr. Odwin.
(c) Mrs. Sellers.
(d) Mrs. Grey.

10. In what kind of vehicle does Odin return to Valhalla?
(a) A Mack diesel.
(b) A dead-in-the-water Citroen.
(c) An unmarked gray Mercedes van.
(d) A decrepit Jaguar.

11. What is in the lip preserver Kate puts in Thor's bath?
(a) Aloe.
(b) Comfrey.
(c) Shea butter.
(d) Jojoba oil.

12. What befalls Toe Rag and the green-eyed monster?
(a) The kill each other.
(b) The end up on Saturn.
(c) The turn into fire hydrants.
(d) They are eaten by the Guilt God.

13. What has he been counting in Wales?
(a) People.
(b) Stones.
(c) Seagulls.
(d) Picnic tables.

14. What does Kate go find to help Thor with his injuries?
(a) Vaseline.
(b) A Band-aid.
(c) Almond oil.
(d) Antiseptic.

15. What is the lawyer who Dirk hits with his car wearing?
(a) A yellow Polo.
(b) A Member's Only windbreaker.
(c) An Italian suit.
(d) Overalls.

Short Answer Questions

1. What happens to a god that makes the god know he is dead?

2. What does Thor say he needs when Kate offers to help him with the bruise she just caused on his face?

3. What is the neroli oil Kate puts in Thor's bath distilled from?

4. What does Tsuliwaensis say in terms of the number of immortal gods that are left?

5. What is Dirk looking forward to when he gets out of the hospital?

(see the answer keys)

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