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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What happened to the intellectual journals the protagonist sent to his father?
(a) They were burned.
(b) They were put in the library.
(c) They were mailed back.
(d) They were thrown out.

2. What does the narrator remark about the woman whom his father brings home to dinner?
(a) Her legs.
(b) Her skin.
(c) Her ankles.
(d) Her face.

3. What does the narrator's mother threaten him with when he refuses to eat dinner?
(a) A gun.
(b) Being grounded.
(c) A bread knife.
(d) Starvation.

4. How many Christian children are in the high school where the narrator attends?
(a) Sixteen.
(b) Two.
(c) Twelve.
(d) Seven.

5. What does the narrator eat which makes his mother weep in Chapter 2?
(a) Hot dogs.
(b) Hamburgers.
(c) Potato chips.
(d) French fries.

6. What is the name of the narrator's oldest brother?
(a) Agnew.
(b) Horace.
(c) Hymie.
(d) John.

7. Who does the narrator now work for in Chapter 4, Part 2?
(a) The Mayor.
(b) The New York Bar Association.
(c) The DA's office.
(d) The Police Commissioner.

8. What does the narrator tell his parents he has which makes him spend so much time in the bathroom?
(a) A sore throat.
(b) A fever.
(c) Constipation.
(d) Diarrhea.

9. What non-kosher food does the narrator have for dinner while out with his sister?
(a) Oysters.
(b) Catfish.
(c) Lobster.
(d) Snails.

10. What is the name of the narrator's father?
(a) William.
(b) Alex.
(c) George.
(d) Jack.

11. What does the narrator resent being sent to buy at the store for his mother?
(a) Birthday cards.
(b) Dinner.
(c) Kotex.
(d) Toilet paper.

12. How old is the narrator when he pleasures himself on a public bus?
(a) Seventeen.
(b) Fifteen.
(c) Twelve.
(d) Thirteen.

13. Who is the woman whom the narrator has a longer affair with than most?
(a) The Monkey.
(b) Mary Andrews.
(c) Anne Williams.
(d) Tiffany McMann.

14. Who does the narrator's father hold up as someone to emulate in life?
(a) Dwight Eisenhower.
(b) William Rockefeller.
(c) Walter Winchell.
(d) Billy Rose.

15. What is the narrator's name?
(a) Jack Portnoy.
(b) Augustine Portnoy.
(c) Andrew Portnoy.
(d) Alexander Portnoy.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does the narrator's father hold the wrong way?

2. How old is the narrator when his testicles recede?

3. What is the narrator's mother doing when he sees her menstrual blood?

4. What is not kosher after eating meat?

5. What does the narrator's mother give the cleaning lady for lunch?

(see the answer keys)

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