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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What special ceremony is planned at the weekly meeting of the Iron Guard of the White Sons of the Constitution?
(a) A mock human sacrifice.
(b) Initiation rites for the narrator.
(c) The wedding of Resi and the narrator.
(d) A memorial service for August Krapptauer.

2. What are Resi, Father Keeley, and the Black Fuehrer doing when the narrator returns from his meeting with Frank Wirtanen?
(a) Organizing a search party.
(b) Playing cards.
(c) Preparing for their trip to Mexico.
(d) Talking to the police.

3. Which directive does NOT appear on the sign that the Black Fuehrer of Harlem posts at the Iron Guard meeting?
(a) Keep your body clean and strong.
(b) Serve your country.
(c) Keep your opinions to yourself.
(d) Get plenty of education.

4. What was Lionel Jones' chauffeur's nickname?
(a) The Tojo of Soho.
(b) The Black Fuehrer of Harlem.
(c) The Hitler of Hackensack.
(d) The Bed-Stuy Mussolini.

5. What is George Kraft frantically searching for when he returns to the narrator's apartment?
(a) A diamond engagement ring.
(b) His bottle of whiskey.
(c) The phone number of someone who wants to buy his paintings.
(d) His corncob pipe.

6. What is the Blue Fairy Godmother's response to the narrator's concerns that his parents knew he was broadcasting Nazi propaganda?
(a) The mission was more important than the peace of mind of two old people.
(b) His parents were secretly pro-Nazi and were very proud of their son.
(c) They were both too senile to really understand what was happening.
(d) They received a call from President Roosevelt explaining the situation, but were sworn to secrecy.

7. When the narrator asks Adolf Eichmann if he felt that he was guilty of murdering six million Jews, Eichmann replies:
(a) They had it coming.
(b) You are as guilty as I am.
(c) Jews aren't people, so it wasn't exactly murder.
(d) Absolutely not.

8. What does the patrolman say has the potential to end crime, war, divorce, child abuse, and several other social ills?
(a) Chemicals.
(b) Religion.
(c) Extraterrestrial beings.
(d) Psychology.

9. What does Jones' chauffeur says always works even though most other things do not?
(a) A black man.
(b) Timex watches.
(c) Aspirin.
(d) Love.

10. In one of her final statements, Resi says of the narrator, "There is nothing left of him but __________ and a pair of eyes."
(a) Love.
(b) Anger.
(c) Curiosity.
(d) His mouth.

11. The narrator is upset when he finds out that Armistice Day had been changed to . . .
(a) Independence Day.
(b) Labor Day.
(c) Memorial Day.
(d) Veterans' Day.

12. What does the narrator mean when he says, "alles kaput"?
(a) When he is arrested and knows he will be turned over to Israeli agents.
(b) Wirtanen's revelation has wiped away his illusions of a friend, a mistress, and a dream.
(c) His gun misfires and he knows it will never work again.
(d) His reaction when he returns to his home to find it completely ransacked.

13. To what does the narrator compare himself and other cigarette smokers?
(a) Lightning bugs.
(b) Walking chimneys.
(c) Babies with pacifiers.
(d) Pre-cancerous growths.

14. What does the patrolman tell the narrator that chemicals had caused a woman living nearby to do?
(a) Intentionally ram her car into someone else's.
(b) Set her apartment on fire.
(c) Kill her husband.
(d) Kill her own baby.

15. What "gift" does Frank Wirtanen say that the narrator and George Kraft have in common?
(a) They can be many things at once and all sincerely.
(b) They are creative.
(c) They can live in any country anywhere and it would not matter because one place is as good as another.
(d) The things they did during the war don't bother them now.

Short Answer Questions

1. According to the narrator, what is the only part of a pig that is not used at the Chicago Stockyards?

2. Why does the narrator think his drawing is so popular?

3. What snide remark does Resi make as she watches drum majorettes pass by in a parade?

4. According to Wirtanen, who are the only three people who knew the truth about the narrator's radio broadcasts?

5. What characteristics do all the guardsmen at Krapptauer's memorial have in common?

(see the answer keys)

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