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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. From what months did Bombeck claim to always be cold?
(a) May until September.
(b) September until December.
(c) July until October.
(d) November until March.

2. In "Joe Carter's Jubilance and Excitement Seminar," how many aspects of decorum were listed?
(a) Five.
(b) Six.
(c) Four.
(d) Three.

3. In "Illegal Possession of Junk Food," what would Bombeck sell on a trial basis to trick kids into eating better?
(a) Freshly baked cookies.
(b) Fresh vegetables.
(c) Fresh fruit.
(d) Milkshakes.

4. Where would the winning contestant's trip take them in Bombeck's game show scenario?
(a) Paris, Texas.
(b) Venice, Illinois.
(c) Rome, New York.
(d) Rome, Italy.

5. Why would Bombeck's theoretical winning contestant have been disqualified from the coat?
(a) It did not match her hair.
(b) It would not have been in her size.
(c) It was last year's style.
(d) It gifted to someone else.

6. What did Bombeck claim to do when she saw her daughter's ears were pierced?
(a) She grounded her daughter.
(b) Scream.
(c) Faint.
(d) Cry.

7. Per the aspect of decorum, how must a winning contestant act when they win a car?
(a) Disappointed.
(b) Emotional.
(c) Hysterical.
(d) Nonchalent.

8. What law did Bombeck decide should exist in "Register Camera Nuts?"
(a) A camera should shut off automatically when it falls into the hands of a child.
(b) The developers should throw away any unflattering pictures.
(c) There is a limit as to who could use a camera.
(d) All cameras should subtract twenty pounds.

9. In Bombeck's analogy for children, why is their success bittersweet?
(a) They will not need to rely exclusively on you anymore.
(b) They will never come home again.
(c) A mother no longer knows their children best.
(d) They will soon break free.

10. In Bombeck's son's example of his mother's lessons in logic, what would prevent a child from not being allowed to go to the store?
(a) Wearing dirty clothes from the day before.
(b) Getting anything lower than a B on their report cards.
(c) Hurting themselves if they fall off their bikes.
(d) Getting a detention from the principal.

11. What did Bombeck cite as being a problem with "The Star Spangled Banner?"
(a) Too many people deviate from the melody when singing it before a ballgame.
(b) The melody could hurt nonprofessional singers.
(c) The song is too long.
(d) Too many people do not know the words.

12. Where did Bombeck find the dried French fry in "Warning: Families May Be Dangerous To Your Health?"
(a) Her son's backpack.
(b) Her son's binder.
(c) Her son's saxophone case.
(d) Her son's shoestrings to his gym shoes.

13. What does Bombeck worry her son will never do?
(a) Marry.
(b) Leave their town.
(c) Graduate college.
(d) Find a career that makes him happy.

14. To what does Bombeck compare children in "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) Kites.
(b) Toy boats.
(c) Butterflies.
(d) Birds.

15. What did Bombeck once claim she would be if she did not emphasize the truthfulness in recounting her son's bad habits?
(a) An irresponsible writer.
(b) A liar.
(c) A traitor to women.
(d) A terrible mother.

Short Answer Questions

1. What did Bombeck predict as being the future of game show contestants?

2. What was Jackie's husband's response when asked what the most embarrassing moment of their wedding had been?

3. According to Bombeck, what was notable about using a shopping cart?

4. Which of the following is not a fad listed by Bombed as trends that she knew would soon go away?

5. What did Bombeck believe a baby should be allowed to decide?

(see the answer keys)

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