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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Read the following statement: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Of what is that statement an example in Bombeck's son's paper?
(a) Common sense.
(b) Humor.
(c) Teaching lessons.
(d) Punishment.

2. What did Bombeck's child need in order to come home from college in "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) A bed.
(b) Car.
(c) A promise to not try to enforce a curfew.
(d) Money.

3. What does Bombeck worry her son will never do?
(a) Graduate college.
(b) Marry.
(c) Find a career that makes him happy.
(d) Leave their town.

4. For what reasons would one call legal aid on an exist ramp?
(a) To remove anyone who got sick in teh car.
(b) To sue backseat drivers.
(c) To silence the children.
(d) To dissolve a family relationship.

5. What did Bombeck cite as being a problem with "The Star Spangled Banner?"
(a) The song is too long.
(b) Too many people deviate from the melody when singing it before a ballgame.
(c) The melody could hurt nonprofessional singers.
(d) Too many people do not know the words.

6. In Bombeck's analogy for children, why is their success bittersweet?
(a) A mother no longer knows their children best.
(b) They will not need to rely exclusively on you anymore.
(c) They will never come home again.
(d) They will soon break free.

7. Who was Bombeck's son bringing home at the end of "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) New girlfriend.
(b) Surfer friends.
(c) Mooching best friend.
(d) Football teammates.

8. What did Bombeck once note about the features of a shopping cart?
(a) One wheel was always loose.
(b) The basket was too small.
(c) It had no brakes.
(d) The steering was off.

9. How many people did Bombeck cite as being necessary for driving a shopping cart?
(a) One.
(b) Zero.
(c) Three.
(d) Two.

10. In "Constitutionality of Drive-in Windows," which of the following is not one of the places Bombeck listed as examples of when to use a drive-through window?
(a) Bank.
(b) Restaurant.
(c) Pharmacy.
(d) Mailbox.

11. When did Bombeck's son begin to believe that he was unappreciated by everyone?
(a) When he became a teenager.
(b) When he started college.
(c) When he became employed.
(d) When he got his driver's license.

12. What Washington bureaucrat did Bombeck decide she wanted to meeting in "Constitutionality of Drive-in Windows?"
(a) The one who decides the cost of shipping parcels.
(b) The designer of the stamps.
(c) The designer of the drive-up mailboxes.
(d) The one who decided post offices should always be located far away from populated areas.

13. In "Fashions and Fads that Underwhelmed Me," what aspect of fashion trends did Bombeck discuss?
(a) The way trends begin.
(b) The shortness of trends.
(c) The tendencies of trends to repeat.
(d) The disdain to those carrying on past trends.

14. In "A Baby's Bill of Rights," for what offense would Bombeck assign a penalty?
(a) Using baby talk.
(b) Waking the baby to show him off to visitors.
(c) Dressing the baby like a doll.
(d) Tossing the baby in the air after eating.

15. What joke did Bombeck's husband once play on her in "Register Camera Nuts?"
(a) He pretended to take a picture of her hips.
(b) He pretended to take a picture of her first thing in the morning.
(c) He pretended to lose their film.
(d) He pretended all of their vacation photos were ruined.

Short Answer Questions

1. In Bombeck's son's example of his mother's lessons in logic, what would prevent a child from not being allowed to go to the store?

2. What was the name of Bombeck's son's paper?

3. According to Bombeck, what was notable about using a shopping cart?

4. When must a game show contestant "stay on [their] feet?"

5. In "Kissing By Mutual Ratification," what is not one of the items listed as object for which a person should watch?

(see the answer keys)

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