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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In Bombeck's analogy for children, why is their success bittersweet?
(a) They will soon break free.
(b) They will never come home again.
(c) A mother no longer knows their children best.
(d) They will not need to rely exclusively on you anymore.

2. When must a game show contestant "stay on [their] feet?"
(a) When they have to do a reshoot.
(b) When they have to stand next to the lucky winner.
(c) When they experience a coronary.
(d) When they have to run down the aisle.

3. What did Bombeck's son believe would happen if he followed his mother's wishes in "Search and Seizure Rights in the Laundry Room?"
(a) His closet might explode.
(b) He would never be able to find his socks again.
(c) His dresser would not close.
(d) His clean clothes would get mixed up with his dirty clothes.

4. Where would the winning contestant's trip take them in Bombeck's game show scenario?
(a) Rome, New York.
(b) Paris, Texas.
(c) Rome, Italy.
(d) Venice, Illinois.

5. What did Bombeck predict as being the future of game show contestants?
(a) They would need to undergo training.
(b) They would be forced to sign over their houses?
(c) They would be used to train CIA agents.
(d) They would have to sign a waiver.

6. In "A Baby's Bill of Rights," for what offense would Bombeck assign a penalty?
(a) Waking the baby to show him off to visitors.
(b) Using baby talk.
(c) Dressing the baby like a doll.
(d) Tossing the baby in the air after eating.

7. In the theoretical game show scenario, what would the winning currency be?
(a) Francs.
(b) Yen.
(c) Pesos.
(d) Italian Lira.

8. After her son moves out, into what does Bombeck transform his bedroom?
(a) A guest room.
(b) A storage space.
(c) An exercise room.
(d) A television room.

9. During "Search and Seizure Rights in the Laundry Room," what did Bombeck's son claim was impossible for him to do?
(a) Put his clean laundry away.
(b) Fold his shirts neatly.
(c) Shower nightly.
(d) Change his sheets more than once a month.

10. How did Bombeck sarcastically refer to the restaurant they walked into in "The Right to Declare War?"
(a) A house of horrors.
(b) A college dorm.
(c) A meat locker.
(d) A grocery store.

11. What was the name of Bombeck's son's paper?
(a) "Why My Mother Is The Funniest Person I Know."
(b) "Things My Mother Taught Me."
(c) "Why My Mother Gave Me Independence."
(d) "Why My Mother Loves Me."

12. How many versions of "The Star-Spangled Banner" did Bombeck decide should exist?
(a) Four.
(b) Three.
(c) Two.
(d) Five.

13. Of what was the "fanny sweater" an example in "Fashions and Fads that Underwhelmed Me"?
(a) Trends that she never understood.
(b) Trends that ended before they started.
(c) Trends that made Bombeck lose interest in fashion.
(d) Trends that she fervantly supported.

14. What did Bombeck's son cite specifically as being an article of clothing he wears several times before washing it?
(a) His baseball hat.
(b) His lucky underwear.
(c) His gym socks.
(d) His baseball jersey.

15. For what offense would Bombeck not be convicted, according to "Register Camera Nuts?"
(a) Punishing her husband for pushing her too far after his camera prank.
(b) Running a red light.
(c) Destroying her husband's camera.
(d) Refusing mugshots.

Short Answer Questions

1. Ultimately, why would Bombeck's winner in her game show scenario have been disqualified?

2. According to Bombeck, what was notable about using a shopping cart?

3. Of what would Bombeck find remnants of in handbags from her mother?

4. Read the following statement: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Of what is that statement an example in Bombeck's son's paper?

5. What sort of shoes did Bombeck find particularly painful?

(see the answer keys)

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