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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. For what reasons did Bombeck tear a strip of wallpaper down in "Warning: Families May Be Dangerous To Your Health?"
(a) She could not find paper and needed to write a note for her son.
(b) She needed to find its match at the local hardware store.
(c) She was growing tired of the pattern.
(d) She was afraid that she had accidentally covered a treasured wall drawing from her child.

2. What sort of shoes did Bombeck find particularly painful?
(a) Gogo boots.
(b) Open-toed high heels.
(c) Platform shoes.
(d) Sandals.

3. What did Bombeck once claim she would be if she did not emphasize the truthfulness in recounting her son's bad habits?
(a) A liar.
(b) An irresponsible writer.
(c) A traitor to women.
(d) A terrible mother.

4. In "Kissing By Mutual Ratification," what is not one of the items listed as object for which a person should watch?
(a) Toothpicks.
(b) Earrings.
(c) Pins.
(d) Staples.

5. After her son moves out, into what does Bombeck transform his bedroom?
(a) A television room.
(b) A guest room.
(c) An exercise room.
(d) A storage space.

6. What did Bombeck cite as being a problem with "The Star Spangled Banner?"
(a) Too many people deviate from the melody when singing it before a ballgame.
(b) Too many people do not know the words.
(c) The melody could hurt nonprofessional singers.
(d) The song is too long.

7. What law did Bombeck decide should exist in "Register Camera Nuts?"
(a) A camera should shut off automatically when it falls into the hands of a child.
(b) There is a limit as to who could use a camera.
(c) The developers should throw away any unflattering pictures.
(d) All cameras should subtract twenty pounds.

8. For what reasons would one call legal aid on an exist ramp?
(a) To silence the children.
(b) To sue backseat drivers.
(c) To dissolve a family relationship.
(d) To remove anyone who got sick in teh car.

9. What did Bombeck predict as being the future of game show contestants?
(a) They would be used to train CIA agents.
(b) They would be forced to sign over their houses?
(c) They would have to sign a waiver.
(d) They would need to undergo training.

10. To what does Bombeck compare children in "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) Kites.
(b) Butterflies.
(c) Birds.
(d) Toy boats.

11. What did Bombeck's child need in order to come home from college in "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) Money.
(b) A bed.
(c) Car.
(d) A promise to not try to enforce a curfew.

12. Read the following statement: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Of what is that statement an example in Bombeck's son's paper?
(a) Teaching lessons.
(b) Common sense.
(c) Punishment.
(d) Humor.

13. Who was Bombeck's son bringing home at the end of "How to Speak Child Fluently?"
(a) Mooching best friend.
(b) Surfer friends.
(c) Football teammates.
(d) New girlfriend.

14. Who did Bombeck claim to have discovered as her clothing designer?
(a) Made in Taiwan.
(b) Inspector 56.
(c) Number 32.
(d) K-Mart Brand.

15. When "[staggering] the IRS men", what would a winning game show contestant be carrying?
(a) A bag of gold.
(b) A large check.
(c) Tickets to Paris.
(d) Keys to a new car.

Short Answer Questions

1. What impressed Bombeck most about contestant's knowledge?

2. What was Bombeck unable to find when her son needed a particular object to return to school?

3. What did Bombeck's son believe would happen if he followed his mother's wishes in "Search and Seizure Rights in the Laundry Room?"

4. What did Bombeck claim to do when she saw her daughter's ears were pierced?

5. What did Bombeck's husband think of her analogy in "How to Speak Child Fluently?"

(see the answer keys)

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