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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris say is the only thing he was able to successfully hoard?
(a) Designer hand sanitizers.
(b) One-ply toilet paper.
(c) Licorice Allsorts.
(d) Ground water buffalo.

2. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris buy at the gourmet store Eataly that he later feels he has to defend to Hugh?
(a) Hot dogs.
(b) Pasta.
(c) Chocolate milk.
(d) Fruit cocktail.

3. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris's agent say will put sex workers out of business?
(a) Internet pornography.
(b) The pandemic.
(c) Sex robots.
(d) Climate change.

4. In "Lady Marmalade," what did Lou want to show the family when he unbuttoned Lisa's shirt at dinner?
(a) Her bra.
(b) A tattoo.
(c) Her birthmark.
(d) A bruise.

5. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," how old does Lou claim to be?
(a) 10.
(b) 90.
(c) 100.
(d) 21.

6. In "A Better Place," what does Sedaris suggest would be true about Lou, if there were, in fact, an afterlife?
(a) Lou would still be making fun of him.
(b) Lou would be trying to boss God around.
(c) Lou would finally learn to play the guitar.
(d) Lou would be in hell.

7. In "Smile, Beautiful," whose life history inspires Sedaris's offer to the fan he meets at his Reno book signing?
(a) Gretchen's.
(b) Hugh's.
(c) Lisa's.
(d) Amy's.

8. In "Lady Marmalade," what incident causes Lou's attitude toward Gretchen to change?
(a) She moves out when she is only seventeen.
(b) He finds marijuana in her bedroom.
(c) He discovers her having sex with her boyfriend.
(d) She accuses him of inappropriate behavior.

9. In "Pearls," what does Amy's acupuncturist tell her is the source of her trauma?
(a) Her iridologist's remarks about her eye color.
(b) Seeing a mouse and a bug on the same day.
(c) Finding out that Gretchen named her cat "Amy."
(d) Her favorite snack cakes being discontinued.

10. In "Lady Marmalade," what did Lou suggest Sedaris's childhood stomach pains were caused by?
(a) Hemorrhoids.
(b) Their mother's cooking.
(c) A desire to get out of school.
(d) A desire for attention.

11. On page 238 of "Pussytoes," how does Sedaris say people refer to "a massively difficult person" once they get old?
(a) "A character."
(b) "Cantankerous."
(c) "Crotchety."
(d) "A curmudgeon."

12. In "Smile, Beautiful," what nation does Sedaris specifically mention as having more relaxed dental standards than the United States?
(a) England.
(b) France.
(c) Japan.
(d) Australia.

13. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what reason does Lou give for the priest disliking him?
(a) He uses language that the priest finds vulgar.
(b) He no longer believes in God.
(c) He has not been to church in twenty years.
(d) He does not give enough money to the church.

14. In "Pussytoes," where do the siblings stay together on the night before Lou's funeral?
(a) Sea Section.
(b) Paul's house in Raleigh.
(c) A hotel.
(d) Lou's old house.

15. What most bothers Sedaris about the phrases he discusses in "A Better Place" ?
(a) They are empty of meaning.
(b) They are hypocritical.
(c) They are self-serving.
(d) They are obvious lies.

Short Answer Questions

1. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what does Sedaris find disappointing about his Zoom event?

2. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what is the subject of the Delacroix painting that hangs over Lou's bed?

3. In "Pussytoes," where is Sedaris when he gets the news about his father's death?

4. In "Smile, Beautiful," how long does Sedaris have to wear his braces?

5. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," how does one of Sedaris's fans tell him her pet hamster died?

(see the answer keys)

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