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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In "Lady Marmalade," what does Sedaris imply that Tiffany stole from her siblings?
(a) Prescription drugs.
(b) Jewelry.
(c) Alcohol.
(d) Cash.

2. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what does Sedaris see on the floor at Charlotte Douglas International Airport?
(a) Cigarette butts.
(b) A discarded condom.
(c) Dog excrement.
(d) A pair of boxer shorts.

3. In "Pearls," what does Sedaris tell the woman in Sussex about Hugh?
(a) He is 20 years old.
(b) He is blind.
(c) He is a right-to-life advocate.
(d) He is an astrologer.

4. On page 238 of "Pussytoes," how does Sedaris say people refer to "a massively difficult person" once they get old?
(a) "A character."
(b) "Cantankerous."
(c) "A curmudgeon."
(d) "Crotchety."

5. In "Lady Marmalade," what is the name of the reform school that Tiffany was sent to?
(a) Running Springs School.
(b) The Élan School.
(c) Provo Canyon School.
(d) The Oakley School.

6. In "Pearls," what does Amy's acupuncturist tell her is the source of her trauma?
(a) Her favorite snack cakes being discontinued.
(b) Seeing a mouse and a bug on the same day.
(c) Her iridologist's remarks about her eye color.
(d) Finding out that Gretchen named her cat "Amy."

7. In "A Better Place," what is Sedaris's response to the idea that his father will always be with him?
(a) He does not want his father to be with him.
(b) His father was never with him in life.
(c) He will make an effort to swear less, in that case.
(d) His father is not some kind of eternal stalker.

8. In the beginning of "Fresh-Caught Haddock," where are Sedaris, Amy, and Hugh as they listen to the sounds of the protest?
(a) In an upscale boutique on Fifth Avenue.
(b) In the kitchen of one of Amy's apartments.
(c) In a restaurant bordering Central Park.
(d) On the terrace of one of Hugh and Sedaris's apartments.

9. In "Smile, Beautiful," what does Sedaris offer to pay for on behalf of the young man in the thrift shop?
(a) A business wardrobe.
(b) Dental work.
(c) A trip to Paris.
(d) College classes.

10. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what does Amy catch Sedaris doing at his father's funeral?
(a) Looking at his phone.
(b) Hiding a laugh.
(c) Crying.
(d) Making notes.

11. In "Lady Marmalade," what incident causes Lou's attitude toward Gretchen to change?
(a) She accuses him of inappropriate behavior.
(b) He finds marijuana in her bedroom.
(c) He discovers her having sex with her boyfriend.
(d) She moves out when she is only seventeen.

12. In "Pussytoes," where is Sedaris when he gets the news about his father's death?
(a) In a restaurant in Atlantic Beach.
(b) In his and Hugh's home in New York.
(c) In a hotel room in Reno, Nevada.
(d) In the courtyard at Springmoor.

13. In "The Vacuum," what task does Sedaris find himself performing for other shoppers?
(a) Bagging groceries.
(b) Locating stock.
(c) Opening the door.
(d) Sanitizing sales terminals.

14. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris say is the only thing he was able to successfully hoard?
(a) Ground water buffalo.
(b) Designer hand sanitizers.
(c) Licorice Allsorts.
(d) One-ply toilet paper.

15. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what role does Sedaris say Hugh ends up playing when they visit Springmoor?
(a) Secretary.
(b) Nurse.
(c) Servant.
(d) Mediator.

Short Answer Questions

1. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what is Sedaris relieved that his father does not remember accurately?

2. On page 228 of "Pussytoes," what does Gretchen complain she is not allowed to say at work anymore?

3. In "Smile, Beautiful," what nation does Sedaris specifically mention as having more relaxed dental standards than the United States?

4. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," how does one of Sedaris's fans tell him her pet hamster died?

5. In "Fresh-Caught Haddock," what objection does Sedaris raise to one of the protest chants?

(see the answer keys)

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