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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In "Lady Marmalade," what does Sedaris recall doing to Tiffany when he was about ten and she was about four years old?
(a) Hiding her stuffed rabbit.
(b) Threatening to choke her.
(c) Poking her with pins.
(d) Feeding her a worm.

2. In "Smile, Beautiful," what example of prejudice related to the appearance of his teeth does Sedaris give?
(a) Other patrons sometimes move tables in restaurants so that they are not sitting where they can see him eating.
(b) Magazine photographers generally ask him to keep his mouth closed during publicity shoots.
(c) People often make unsolicited comments about his teeth when he is out walking in New York.
(d) Employees in upscale hotels and boutiques do not seem to think he is wealthy enough to be a patron.

3. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," when is Sedaris finally able to go back to touring?
(a) Spring of 2021.
(b) Spring of 2022.
(c) Fall of 2020.
(d) Fall of 2021.

4. In "Pearls," what does Sedaris tell the woman in Sussex about Hugh?
(a) He is a right-to-life advocate.
(b) He is an astrologer.
(c) He is blind.
(d) He is 20 years old.

5. In "The Vacuum," which standing appointment is Amy reluctant to move online?
(a) Massage.
(b) Therapy.
(c) Pilates instruction.
(d) Acupuncture.

6. In "A Better Place," what does Sedaris say is the subject of our greatest art?
(a) Family.
(b) Death.
(c) Love.
(d) Change.

7. On page 228 of "Pussytoes," what does Gretchen complain she is not allowed to say at work anymore?
(a) "Workmen."
(b) "Native plants."
(c) "Alien species."
(d) "Manpower."

8. In "Pearls," what instrument does Hugh take up?
(a) Guitar.
(b) Piano.
(c) Oboe.
(d) Violin.

9. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris's agent say will put sex workers out of business?
(a) The pandemic.
(b) Climate change.
(c) Internet pornography.
(d) Sex robots.

10. In "Smile, Beautiful," whose life history inspires Sedaris's offer to the fan he meets at his Reno book signing?
(a) Lisa's.
(b) Amy's.
(c) Gretchen's.
(d) Hugh's.

11. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris say he sees more of on the streets of New York during the pandemic?
(a) Pigeons.
(b) Garbage.
(c) Rats.
(d) Needles.

12. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris say he has learned through experience never to do on the streets of New York?
(a) Get distracted by his phone.
(b) Back down from an argument.
(c) Flash money or jewelry.
(d) Stop and engage with people.

13. In "Fresh-Caught Haddock," what does Sedaris imply is true about attempts to point out various forms of racism in America?
(a) They are often met with deliberate misunderstanding.
(b) They are an example of the breakdown of American values.
(c) They are attempts to appeal to Black voters.
(d) They go too far and target harmless people.

14. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris buy at the gourmet store Eataly that he later feels he has to defend to Hugh?
(a) Hot dogs.
(b) Pasta.
(c) Fruit cocktail.
(d) Chocolate milk.

15. In the opening of "Fresh-Caught Haddock," whose death does Sedaris mention?
(a) George Floyd.
(b) Breonna Taylor.
(c) Andre Hill.
(d) Duante Wright.

Short Answer Questions

1. In "Lady Marmalade," what does Sedaris say about Lou's physical aggression towards him and his siblings?

2. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what does Sedaris assume is true about the "slightly disheveled" front desk clerk (251)?

3. In "Smile, Beautiful," what nation does Sedaris specifically mention as having more relaxed dental standards than the United States?

4. In "Pussytoes," what item from Lou's house does Gretchen give Sedaris?

5. In "Lady Marmalade," what new role does Lou take on once all of his children have moved out?

(see the answer keys)

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