Summary

The author begins this chapter with an anecdote about a young rape victim whose recovery was helped by consideration of a concept that she (the author) calls the three P’s – personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence. These, the author writes, are common responses to traumatic incidents. “Personalization” means making the trauma personal (i.e. self-blaming), while “pervasiveness” refers to experiencing the emotional after-effects of the trauma in most circumstances, if not all (i.e. the feelings affect all aspects of life). Permanence refers to the belief that the negative feelings associated with trauma will never go away (i.e. that grief, pain, anger, or any of the other possible responses will always be an active, dominating aspect of life).

The author then describes how she experienced all three P’s in the aftermath of Dave’s death, and how she came to...