Grief and Identity

Serle shows the profound effect grief can have by linking Dannie’s need for control to her brother’s death. Dannie wonders if she was less serious and more carefree before her brother’s death, noting that upon his death, she “probably” began “to plan [her] life so that no one would ever show up at [her] door and throw the whole thing off a cliff?” (43). Dannie therefore attributes her own need for order as a manifestation of her grief due to loss of her brother. Her brother’s loss also resulted in her tendency towards sacrifice and self-deprivation. After Michael’s death, Dannie remembers that joy and unity amongst her family was “intolerable” due to feeling that is was “a betrayal of him, his life” (61). Dannie also acknowledges that the death of her brother affects the ability to believe everything happens for a...