pages 145-213 Summary and Analysis

May 1932

Nin begins to realize that her journal is a vice, almost a disease. Even when Nin is exhausted, the journal raises her up to a new awareness and often almost a state of frenzy. Nin says that when she has spent hours with Miller and then Eduardo, she should be exhausted but that the journal still grabs and holds her attention.

Nin continues to fret over what she sees as being her masculinity. Nin brings it up to Dr. Allendy, who often feels that Nin is overanalyzing herself. Allendy assures Nin that she is feminine and that she equates femininity with episodes in her childhood. Nin worries about her breasts and shows Allendy, who assures Nin that she is perfectly normal. Allendy does agree that Nin could use some more weight as she is too thin.

Nin continues...