Pages 1-52; October 1931- February 1932 Summary and Analysis

The book begins in October 1931 in Paris. Nin's cousin Eduardo comes to visit Nin at Louveciennes. The cousins talked for six hours. Nin had come to the conclusion that she needs a man who is older, one who can teach and guide her; one that will help her to fulfill her deepest desires and needs as a woman. Nin has no plans to leave her husband, Hugo. Nin loves Hugo. It is just that Nin needs more. Eduardo agrees. Eduardo trembles and tells Nin that from the beginning she was meant for him. Instead of being repulsed by the idea, Nin tells Eduardo to wait.

Nin fantasizes about orgies a great deal and realizes that she always wants what she cannot have.

Hugo comes home late for an entire week without a word...