The Boy/Young Man/Narrator

The story's protagonist and narrator is unnamed. The novel follows his life from childhood to young adulthood. As a young child, he spends much of his time alone, preoccupied with his own fantasies. The boy's early playmates are few and are comprised primarily of girls. As he ages, he soon becomes aware of his own homosexuality as well as his penchant for sadism.

As an adolescent, the boy often finds himself fantasizing about death and murder. Often these fantasies involve young, muscular men, warriors, who kill or who are killed in battle. These fantasies, being both bloody and homoerotic, cause the boy to experience considerable guilt. The boy finds it very difficult to express his inner self, objectionable as it is, and so he presents a false face to society. He makes pretense at normality.

As a young man, very little has changed, but...