Chapter 2, pages 34-61 Summary

The narrator describes his entrance into puberty at the age of twelve, characterizing his penis as a mysterious and confusing new toy. By listening to this "toy's" desire, the boy learns that his attraction to the male form is something more than aesthetic, but rather the first stirrings of a sexual orientation. Suddenly his childhood experiences and fantasies are seen in a new light.

The boy also discovers that his childhood preoccupation with death, too, has taken on a sexual component, as images of death and blood incite arousal. He tries to act upon these feelings by translating suitable male images found in magazines into scenes of bloody crayon gore. The boy then lives in fear that these objectionable drawings, though hidden, will be discovered. While he knows that the drawings should be destroyed, his shame proves unequal to...