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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Jim give his fiance an eye like?
(a) A little dog.
(b) A little boy.
(c) An angry cat.
(d) A pregnant mother.

2. What kind of snake does the African woman have curled around her top?
(a) A grass snake.
(b) A python.
(c) An adder.
(d) A cobra.

3. What football position does the narrator compare his running at the chair to?
(a) Winger.
(b) Center back.
(c) Center forward.
(d) Right back.

4. What does the narrator say the goalkeeper turns into?
(a) A deranged eagle.
(b) A long armed gorilla.
(c) A flying pig.
(d) A leaping ape.

5. Why does the woman think the goal should have been disallowed?
(a) It was offside.
(b) It was a foul.
(c) The ref had blown his whistle.
(d) It wasn't over the line.

6. What does Jim mother keep her house as clean as?
(a) A brewery.
(b) A new pin.
(c) A harem.
(d) A hay loft.

7. What does Lennox see dance before his eyes when he closes them?
(a) Orange circles.
(b) Red dots.
(c) Grey squares.
(d) Black dots.

8. What kind of stains does Bert have on his mac?
(a) Beetroot and treacle stains.
(b) Chocolate and coffee stains.
(c) Beer and egg stains.
(d) Wine and oil stains.

9. What is the name of Colin's cousin?
(a) Denise.
(b) Rachel.
(c) James.
(d) Bert.

10. What ride does Colin want to try?
(a) The Catherine Wheel.
(b) The Gunner.
(c) Noah's Ark.
(d) Mad Hatter.

11. Who does Jim Scarfedale live with?
(a) His brother.
(b) His mother.
(c) His children.
(d) His sister.

12. Where does Jim's mother move to?
(a) Liverpool.
(b) Derby.
(c) Manchester.
(d) Birmingham.

13. Where does the man say the boys will be sent if they are caught begging?
(a) Hell.
(b) Australia.
(c) Borstal.
(d) Prison.

14. What does Colin say he is not going to rob?
(a) Cafes.
(b) Schools.
(c) Shops.
(d) Banks.

15. Where does the man put his cap?
(a) On the floor.
(b) On the dresser.
(c) On his the coolbox.
(d) In the sink.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does the narrator say he would hang himself from?

2. Where does Jim's mother work?

3. What does the narrator say you can't hold to forever?

4. What is Jones's job?

5. How does Bert say he earned his tuppence?

(see the answer keys)

This section contains 363 words (approx. 2 pages at 300 words per page) View a FREE sample