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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What do people from Argon think about redheads?
(a) Red hair is caused by sugar and dust.
(b) Red hair is caused by red beets and lust.
(c) Red hair is caused by recessive genes.
(d) Red hair is caused by sugar and lust.

2. What are the writer's final words?
(a) Have a nice day.
(b) Bon Voyage.
(c) Farewell to arms.
(d) Arrivederci.

3. What novel is hard to read while listening to Stevie Wonder?
(a) The Brothers Karamazov.
(b) The Brothers Grimm.
(c) Karamazov and Sons.
(d) One Flew Over the Coo-Coo's Nest.

4. What does her chaperon purchase for the trip?
(a) A good book for the flight.
(b) A surf board.
(c) Sea sick medicine.
(d) A bikini.

5. What does the writer feel might make the Remington a better typewriter?
(a) If the typewriter makes his morning coffee for him it would be better.
(b) If he tells it what he wants typed it would be better.
(c) If it is water proof so he can type while at the beach it would be better.
(d) None are correct.

6. What frightens the writer about the Remington SL3?
(a) It's mechanical sophistication.
(b) It's size.
(c) It's misspell alarm.
(d) It's speed.

7. What religion are the villagers where the pilot ends up?
(a) Christians.
(b) Buddhists.
(c) Asians.
(d) Moslems.

8. Why does Bernard Mickey Wrangle use an assumed name?
(a) He's a wanted criminal.
(b) He's a secret flyer.
(c) He's playing games with the flight attendents.
(d) He doesn't like his name.

9. In the third "Interlude," what does the writer say his typewriter needs?
(a) A new ribbon.
(b) A new paint job.
(c) A lube job.
(d) A verb job.

10. What happens to the writer's finger last week?
(a) It is pinched by a giant land crab.
(b) Nothing happened to it.
(c) It is broken when he drops his typewriter on it.
(d) It is cut when he is slicing limes.

11. Where does the writer sense the novel of his dreams is located?
(a) At the library.
(b) In his file cabinet.
(c) In his head.
(d) Inside the Remington SL3.

12. What does Bernard tell Leigh-Cheri he came to Hawaii to do?
(a) To hide from the police.
(b) To get married.
(c) To find Nebraska Judy.
(d) To bomb the Care Fest.

13. How is the Queen described in Chapter Three?
(a) Overstimulated and underweight.
(b) Understimulated and hyperactive.
(c) Understimulated and overweight.
(d) Hyperactive and overweight.

14. What does Gulietta think about indoor plumbing?
(a) It is not the way God intended.
(b) It has not been perfected yet.
(c) It is the devil's device.
(d) It is restricting.

15. What is disclosed when Bernard smiles?
(a) A gold tooth.
(b) Bad breath.
(c) Dimples.
(d) Bad teeth.

Short Answer Questions

1. What is the only serious question mentioned in Chapter Two?

2. What is strapped to Bernard Mickey Wrangle as he sits in the rear of the airplane?

3. How long were the Furstenberg-Barcalona's exiled?

4. Why doesn't the writer switch machines?

5. Who is the juggler mentioned by the writer?

(see the answer keys)

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