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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. How much money in free phone calls was made from New York City in 1969?
(a) Twenty million dollars.
(b) Five million dollars.
(c) Ten million dollars.
(d) One million dollars.

2. What should women never go grocery shopping without?
(a) A crying baby to use as a decoy.
(b) A male companion.
(c) A list of prices from competing stores.
(d) A handbag.

3. What number size of brass washer doubles as a dime?
(a) 16.
(b) 12.
(c) 13.
(d) 14.

4. 'Eternal vigilance and constant mobility are the passwords of...'
(a) Laziness.
(b) Success.
(c) Survival.
(d) Escape.

5. What time of year has the highest competition for rental housing?
(a) June and September.
(b) December and March.
(c) July and August.
(d) October and January.

6. What is the maximum allowable range for a radio transmitter to not require an FCC license?
(a) A half mile.
(b) One hundred yards.
(c) Two miles.
(d) Ten feet.

7. What type of card is useful for people in their mid twenties?
(a) Youth Card.
(b) Get-out-of-jail-free card.
(c) Credit card.
(d) International Student Card.

8. What are two of the easiest STDs to pick up?
(a) Gon and Chlam.
(b) Warts and fungus.
(c) HIV and AIDS.
(d) Syph and Clap.

9. When making 'road hog crispies,' how long should the millet be boiled for?
(a) Two or three hours.
(b) Forty-five minutes.
(c) A half an hour.
(d) An hour.

10. According to Hoffman, what can few police officers read?
(a) A book without having to use a dictionary.
(b) A driver's license.
(c) English.
(d) The Constitution.

11. What is at the center of the star on the flag?
(a) A mushroom.
(b) A peace symbol.
(c) A marijuana leaf.
(d) Another, smaller star.

12. What should you leave for the waiter or waitress after stealing from a restaurant?
(a) A dead rat.
(b) Nothing.
(c) A good tip.
(d) A forged, blank check.

13. What makes up the majority of the diet for the National Liberation Front?
(a) Street Salad.
(b) Weatherbeans.
(c) Rice and Cong sauce.
(d) Whole Earth Bread.

14. What does Hoffman recommend as the best method of birth control?
(a) The pill.
(b) An IUD.
(c) Foam.
(d) Abstinence.

15. According to Hoffman, what drugs should be avoided?
(a) Cocaine and LSD.
(b) Speed and heroin.
(c) All drugs.
(d) Marijuana and hash.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives does Hoffman recommend?

2. What is it important to do before 'pulling a big rip off' at a grocery store?

3. What type of suspension is preferable on a boxcar?

4. What is a common disease in the hip community?

5. What type of person is a good friend to have at the docks?

(see the answer keys)

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