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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. According to Hoffman, what can few police officers read?
(a) The Constitution.
(b) A driver's license.
(c) A book without having to use a dictionary.
(d) English.

2. What state gives out the most generous welfare benefits?
(a) Alabama.
(b) Mississippi.
(c) Vermont.
(d) New York.

3. What is even easier to shoplift than food?
(a) LPs.
(b) Clothing.
(c) Cigarettes.
(d) Accessories.

4. What type of card is useful for people in their mid twenties?
(a) International Student Card.
(b) Get-out-of-jail-free card.
(c) Youth Card.
(d) Credit card.

5. According to Hoffman, what drugs should be avoided?
(a) All drugs.
(b) Cocaine and LSD.
(c) Marijuana and hash.
(d) Speed and heroin.

6. What can be used as fake marijuana?
(a) Catnip.
(b) Parsley.
(c) Oregano.
(d) All of the below.

7. What is the most effective foreign coin to use as a substitute for a quarter?
(a) Uruguayan 10 Centismo.
(b) Danish 5 Ore.
(c) Icelandic 5 Auran.
(d) Peruvian 20 Centavo.

8. What does Hoffman recommend against when hijacking the mic at a concert?
(a) Interrupting the music.
(b) Making threats to the building owners.
(c) Being too brief.
(d) Being overly dramatic.

9. When making 'road hog crispies,' how long should the millet be boiled for?
(a) Two or three hours.
(b) An hour.
(c) Forty-five minutes.
(d) A half an hour.

10. What is a farmhouse with a small garden, some livestock, and maybe a pond?
(a) Family farm.
(b) Hobby farm.
(c) Recreational farm.
(d) Small farm.

11. Which door is the best to use for sneaking into a theater?
(a) Employee entrance.
(b) Loading bay door.
(c) Fire exit.
(d) Front door.

12. According to Hoffman, what is the only reason you should be in college?
(a) To become a straight.
(b) To get an education.
(c) To get ahead in the rat race.
(d) To destroy it.

13. Who's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives does Hoffman recommend?
(a) Smith's.
(b) Standard's.
(c) Poor's.
(d) Abbie's.

14. What is the best source of information in a hip community?
(a) Underground newspaper.
(b) Underground websites.
(c) Underground railway stations.
(d) Underground markets.

15. What is the maximum allowable range for a radio transmitter to not require an FCC license?
(a) Ten feet.
(b) A half mile.
(c) One hundred yards.
(d) Two miles.

Short Answer Questions

1. What religion of people hold particularly good parties for stealing food from?

2. How many patients can the average free clinic handle in a day?

3. 'Eternal vigilance and constant mobility are the passwords of...'

4. What should you do to all your cans before going to the cashier?

5. What type of person is a good friend to have at the docks?

(see the answer keys)

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